Mothering Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,050 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think quite a few people on here know that I want a huge family...at least 10 kids. Yesterday, though, I was NOT feeling it. DS (3 mo) spent most of the day crying/fussing. He cried for over 30 minutes before he would take his bottle (<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: on the "bottle"). I think it may have been because he was hot (it was the first really hot day of the year, 85+). The whole day I thought to myself, "Oh my God. I cannot do this. I am not cut out to be a SAHM [eventually]. I can't have more kids. I want to pully my hair out." I was having a very hard time speaking lovingly to my son. I was very frustrated.<br><br>
Part of the problem was that my mom wasn't home. (I live with my parents for now; I should be out in a month!) Dad was there, but Dad only wants to "help" when Darren is in a good mood; not when he's crying, hungry, or needs to be changed. Well I'm sorry, but I don't need help when Darren's happy; I need help when he's been crying for 30 mins. My dad's "help" was laughing when I was getting frustrated.<br><br>
I am feeling better today, btw. (He seems to be, as well.)<br><br>
Anyway, I guess I just want reassurance that everyone has those sort of days. I mean, I hope that all moms do. Please tell me they do. Days when, as one poster said to me several months ago, "I went out to the mailbox to get the mail, and started to wonder what would happen if I just kept walking." What do you do on those days? How do you keep from taking it out on your children? (Esp. a baby, who was probably just as frustrated as me.) Do you think I am doomed as a mother? Should I reconsider having more children?<br><br>
Just tell me I'm not alone....
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,725 Posts
For the first 10 or 11 months after my daughter was born, I looked at people who talked about having more kids soon after the birth of a previous child as though they had 2 heads.<br><br>
Now that I have 2 kids, I'm ready to move on to a phase of life where the kids can be reasonably expected to entertain themselves on airplanes and stay with the family in public places.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,371 Posts
<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> definitely not alone<br><br>
i think going down that path of thought is one of the badges of motherhood!<br><br>
does a sling help during days like those? i've started to go sit on the front porch with DD when she gets like that and it seems to help a lot.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,483 Posts
You are DEFINITELY not alone, nor a bad mother!!! I, too, want a very large family (at least 6 to 8 kids) and wouldn't trade being a SAHM for anything in the universe, but just this morning after fighting with DH over my not getting enough done around the house/overspending, and all the kids screaming at me for something, and just feeling very ignored lately, I totally lost it and yelled, "THAT IS IT! I have had it with all of you! You 3 (pointing at kids) can go in daycare and YOU (pointing to DH) can hire a friggin' housekeeper and cook, and I will go back to my nice office where I was appreciated and could spend my nice paycheck wherever I damn well pleased!!!" Not a proud mothering day for me either <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
Just remember we are all human! And you are new at this too, and practically still postpartum! So be gentle to yourself. As long as you are not tempted to shake your baby or hurt him or anything, it will pass. And even very content babies have bad days too - you're not doing anything wrong.<br><br>
As for what to do....the only thing that helps me is taking a quick break. I usually don't let my kids watch much TV, but that's one time I will pop in a DVD and leave them (safely) in the playroom while I call a friend or work on my knitting for a few minutes or have a cup of coffee and read a magazine in the living room. So find what works for you - if someone will take him for you briefly, fine, if not, put him in the sling or stroller and take a walk or go get a Starbucks or ice cream or something!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
832 Posts
Sure some days I'm like "why do i want more than 2?" .... but I still do. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
838 Posts
Amanda, you are SO not alone!!! (Though I can't imagine having 10 kids!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">: )<br><br>
When Piper's being a real fuss-budget (as my mom calls her) and I've taken care of all the usual suspects (diaper, hunger, etc.), I take a few moments to center myself and clear my head, then I tell myself to accept that this might just be "one of those days" and I mentally let go of whatever I had previously had planned (and make a quick call or send an email to cancel or rearrange plans or whatnot)...then I pick her up, hold her facing out (because she seems to like that better and because her screaming doesn't hurt my ears as much that way!), bounce her if she seems into that, and usually head outside. Sometimes it doesn't work worth squat, but often just being in our backyard makes her at least a bit more content. Sometimes I'll head to our local nature center or walk around the neighborhood.<br><br>
And sometimes nothing works and I swear that she is going to be an only child...until the next day when she's all cute and sweet and squishy and yummy, and then I'm ready to get started on #2! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngtongue.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Stick Out Tongue"><br><br>
Hang in there!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
When they just cry and cry and cry... I've had some very bad thoughts <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> But it is harder with the first - you've never done it before, you worry about everything. By the time I got to the third I was much less neurotic, much less concerned about doing everything right and being perfect, I realised that sometimes just being 'good enough' really *is* good enough. I'm on baby number 4 now and barely register the crying (joking! But only just... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> )
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top