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A question about choosing a doula

723 Views 4 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  mumsymimi
Just looking for opinions. I'm looking for a doula, and have spoken with a few by telephone and set up interviews with two of them, so I haven't met anyone in person yet. So far, I have ended the phone conversations feeling uncomfortable about all but one of the doulas (with whom I felt completely comfortable and at ease and whom I am excited to meet). I'm inclined to cancel one of the interviews, and have decided not to even schedule interviews with others, for that very reason (not feeling comfortable with that person after talking with them). I don't want to waste their time, or my time and/or money (some of them charge for the interview) if I already don't have a good feeling about them. It's just a gut feeling I really don't have an explanation for, and it's so important to me that I feel very comfortable with someone who will be with me at such an intimate time. Do you think it's bad to base the decision whether or not to interview a doula based on how I felt after just a phone conversation? I would appreciate any thoughts. Thank you!

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Trust your gut feelings! First impressions mean a lot to me.
FWIW - I would be very uncomfortable with anyone who charged $$ for the initial interview!
ditto! they are working for YOU. remember that!

ALSO: I would still interview more than just the one.... gives you something to go by kwim? that way you can CHOOSE.

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Charging for the interview is not uncommon. If the doula comes to the couple that can mean up to three hours out of her day for an hour long interview. The fee is then applied to the cost if a contract is signed.

I would give those with whom you felt uncomfortable another chance over the phone. If you still don't like them, don't waste time with the interview, but you might have caught them after a birth, or while the pasta is boiling over, or some such. It works both ways, too, unfortunately. As a doula I go meet with people I don't feel 100% about during the initial phone conversation, and rarely am I surprised by my face-to-face reaction. It's noticeable because most of the time I have delightful conversations with potential clients and look forward to meeting with them.

good luck!
Thanks to all of you for your help. Actually, I don't mind paying for an interview. It's just that I don't have unlimited funds (I'm just barely able to afford the average fee for a doula in my area), so when I felt uneasy about some of the doulas who charge during the phone conversation I felt that maybe they wouldn't be my first choice to interview. I also felt uneasy about a doula who didn't charge for an interview, and chose not to schedule an interview so as not to waste her valuable time. Or mine, I suppose. Then again, I also feel like I don't want to judge anyone to quickly. Sometimes you don't really know until you meet someone.

I'll be trusting my gut mostly on this one. I'll be interviewing a couple of doulas whom I felt great about during the phone conversation. I may call back one that I felt somewhat uneasy about, because I do know that she was in the middle of a birth (taking a break) when she returned my call to speak with me. And she sounded as though she were tired or preoccupied, with good reason. (There is one doula I won't be calling back, because she was eating while she was talking to me. I hate talking to people on the phone and listening to them chew in my ear, and I can think of no good reason to eat while speaking to a potetial client on the phone. It's very unprofessional. I'd rather she wait another hour or day or week to call me back at a time that's better for her.)

Thanks again for the advice and opinions. It's helpful.

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