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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've GOT to get in the shower but wanted to give a quick update about what's been going on with us.
  • Polliwog's birth parents have court tomorrow. SW not sure if her birth mother is allowed to attend because of a restraining order. Her birth father has a new lawyer and may or may not be in court. We'll see what happens. TPR for her birth mother is scheduled for December 18th. Postponed for her birth father because of the lawyer thing.
  • Polliwog has two siblings that live with their father and stepmother. The stepmother called the SW to see if sibling visits could be started. SW said no for now, but will get me the contact information for down the road. Polliwog has had no visits since she first went into care last October. I really would like to have pictures of her half-brother and sister.
  • We (my son and I/his younger birth sister and her adoptive mother) haven't had any contact with their 5 1/2-year-old sister since June of last year. She was moved to a new foster home, out of our county, at that time. She's recently been moved to a foster home near here. I've met her new foster family before and they're terrific. My son and I are going to the park with A and her foster parents on Tuesday!!!! I'm so excited. They said she's confused but doing ok. She was in another foster home for two days but was moved to this one since the other family chose not to pursue adoption. Poor kid. But we get to see her!!!!! The kids used to be so close and I bet that A and my C will be over the top excited to see each other. Hence, the meeting at the park.
So, that didn't turn out to be such a quick update but so much has happened in the past 24 hours.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I don't know it yet, either. I'd like it to be because he really wants a relationship with his daughter. I have nothing to base that on, though. We'll see if he's in court today. He wasn't at the last one when the lawyer told the judge that he was stepping down from the case.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Wow, court was eventful and boring all at the same time. It's open court so anyone could listen. In addition to Polliwog's case, there was the post-TPR review hearing for A (coincidentally,) a hearing for the mother of the other foster child in A's new home, and a review hearing for the parents of a former student of mine. That one was a bit awkward.

I sat with several of the DSS folks- including a few social workers, supervisors, etc so I was filled in about a lot that's happened with A's case. She's only been in this new home for two weeks but it's going well and they ARE strongly considering adoption!!!!!!!!! The family will be moving out of state in July but I'd definitely be open to travelling. The foster father is a doctor and the foster mother is a social worker so they definitely have the background to help A thrive. They sent me pictures of A last night. Her former foster mother had DYED HER HAIR BLEACH BLOND and she has the most horrific haircut I've seen in a long time.

Anyway, back to Polliwog's case. Her birth father came to court and was assigned a new lawyer. The lawyer is concerned that DSS didn't offer the father a case plan. I was positive that the judge was going to mandate visits but that didn't happen. He needs to have a complete home study in his home county. We go back to court in March, I think although it might be February. I talked for a long time with the social work supervisor and I don't think that he expected that I'd know much about how the system works. (He doesn't know how much I've learned both here and on fostering boards.) The county has tabled the TPR petition for now so that the home study can be done but they really think that it's just a formality due to the length of time and other issues. They want to make sure that the case is airtight and wouldn't be overturned in an appeal.

As we all know, anything can, and does, happen. I like that this judge was thoughtful and really considered all sides of the case and thought about how each suggestion would affect Polliwog. In fact, she did that with all the cases that were heard today. She's retiring at the end of the year, so there will be a new judge when we go back to court for this. I brought a bunch of pictures and her birth father took a few home with him. Which, I'm sure, means that her birth mother will see them too since I've heard from several sources that he's still involved with her. That is somewhat unsettling, given her history, but she doesn't know where we live and legally she's not allowed to come near anyone.

So, in long (sorry,) the TPR trial for mom is in two weeks. That will go through without a problem. And then her fathers case will continue. I'm glad that I got to see him today. I was trying to see Polliwog in his features but I'm not good at that and I didn't want to stare at him. He is, as I thought I remembered, very short. Probably shorter than I am and I'm about 5'5".

Whew.
 

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Beth-

I'm sorry I didn't get the chance to respond sooner; I've been extremely bogged down lately. I'm sorry you guys are going through such uncertainty in your case. I think that's the hardest part; the waiting and the uncertainty. How did the father act towards you?? *If* worst case happens and she goes home (which I would be really vocal about the fact that he's still connected with bio mom - that might be the clincher), do you get the impression he'd let you still know her, or would he block you?

Your family is in our prayers while you wait....
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I don't know much. I couldn't talk to him since my Spanish is minimal. I should have asked his new lawyer if she could translate for me but I didn't think of it and to be honest, she seemed a little intimidating. I feel badly, because if there wasn't a language difference I would have spoken with him. I did last year when I met her mother. He seemed really uncomfortable being in the courtroom- probably because he wasn't understanding much and possibly because he was afraid of being in court due to his immigration status. I heard that he really looked happy to see pictures (I couldn't see his face since I was sitting directly behind him when the case was being heard.)

I think a lot depends on whether is really is still with her bio mom. If he is, and he got custody, I HIGHLY doubt that I'd ever be able to see her again. I don't think she would allow it.
 
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