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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A little background: I pulled my 3rd grader out of ps after winter break. She is doing very well, etc. Only problem is my kindergartner wants to hs too. I want her to finish the year out, but will most likely hs her next year. However, my problem is that I think she wants to homeschool so that she can be a hermit--and I don't want that. She behaves well in social situations, but is inclined to be a loner. I am ok with her being more of a recluse, but I do worry about how fostering that would affect her in the long run. Does anyone else hs a child who is like this. She does have two very close friends and I would continue to work towards maintaining those relationships. But, you can't go through life in a bubble. My older child is very social--it wasn't even part of the equation when we were deciding to pull her out.

Amy
 

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I'm guessing you're an extrovert?

I'm an introvert with one extrovert and one introvert. For me, the journey has been acknowleging my older dd's need for lots more people contact than seems possible.

My younger dd is 4.5 so just a hair younger than yours. She is very selective about the people and environments she unfolds in. Two close friends is a wonderful blessing.

What are you concerned she'll miss if she's not happy in crowds?
 

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It would be such a gift to her to be able to choose her interactions. Introverts do best in social situations if they have plenty of time alone in between. Homeschooling may be just what she needs to blossom into the confident person you want her to be.

I am an introvert, and being forced to sit in school with a bunch of kids was miserable for me. I was so drained from it, that I rarely wanted to see friends outside of school.

It took many years for me to learn that I am not an antisocial loner as my mother feared, but an introvert who prefers close friendships and one-on-one conversations.
 

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I am an extrovert, with an introverted DH.

Our sons are one extrovert and one introvert.

Neither of the introverts have trouble making friends. They just choose to limit the number of friends they have and to not spend as much time socializing as we extroverts.

DH has his friends over every Saturday for game night. I'm usually at work on Saturday nights, so it works well for us. DS1 doesn't initiate much in the way of social time outside of our family. If kids come over to see DS2, he'll hang with them. If I arrange a gathering, he'll hang out with kids.

What our introverts don't like is being forced to spend time in large groups, day in and day out. This was not one of our reasons for beginning to homeschool, since I didn't realize how introverted my son was when he was younger. I do realize now that dislike of large groups is probably one of the reasons we fought so much about getting up for school when he was little.

My DH despised school, and even though he is 38 years old and has started-and-quit college twice, he gets almost panicky at the thought of going back to school.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by AAK View Post
A little background: I pulled my 3rd grader out of ps after winter break. She is doing very well, etc. Only problem is my kindergartner wants to hs too. I want her to finish the year out, but will most likely hs her next year. However, my problem is that I think she wants to homeschool so that she can be a hermit--and I don't want that. She behaves well in social situations, but is inclined to be a loner. I am ok with her being more of a recluse, but I do worry about how fostering that would affect her in the long run. Does anyone else hs a child who is like this. She does have two very close friends and I would continue to work towards maintaining those relationships. But, you can't go through life in a bubble. My older child is very social--it wasn't even part of the equation when we were deciding to pull her out.

Amy
Amy, your ds is young. She wants to be home with YOU. It is okay and good for her! She will have exposure to peers and other age groups and be just fine. Homeschoolers are not isolated or loners. Most importantly it sounds as if your daughter needs you to teach her and guide her right now. You will be able to model friendships and social interactions for her. If I were in your situation, I would bring her home asap. However, you have to go with YOUR instincts for her, she is YOUR daughter and you have the best heart for her in the WORLD!

 

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I just want to echo 2xy's post. We are in a similar situation as you, except that I am introverted and my oldest is also introverted. DH and dd are extroverts. We do quite well with arranging for social opportunities as we need them -- and ds does much much better not having to be forced into a day long school situation that is too overwhelming for him socially. He has become more socially adept by being home rather than socially reclusive, although we did go through an initial time period where he was more resistant to leaving the home. I had a feeling that when he became more secure with knowing that he had a home base to retreat to, he'd be willing to venture out more -- and I was correct.

Now, if I can only figure out how to meet my very extroverted dd's social needs, who *wants* to go to K next year instead of hs'ing, we'll all be happy campers.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks everyone. I am actually quite introverted, but I always wished I was more outgoing like my sister. I guess I wonder just how introverted I would have become if social stuff wasn't inevitable. Now, as an adult, I still struggle. I have learned to conquer a lot of the anxiety simply for my kids. I also despised school especially grades 4-8. My dh is the extrovert. We clash a lot about how we should handle social life for the kids. Reading all the posts make me realize that my issues are more about myself. Sometimes I forget that being introverted isn't a bad thing and that there are plenty of us out there.

Maybe I will bring her home now. This morning was difficult! I still feel guilty about sending her to school.

Amy
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by AAK View Post
Now, as an adult, I still struggle. I have learned to conquer a lot of the anxiety simply for my kids. I also despised school especially grades 4-8.
Well, I think you've answered your own questions, really.

School didn't "cure" you of being an introvert. School didn't make it so that you don't have to struggle to be overly social. School didn't make you less anxious about social situations.

Why do you think school will do all those things for your dd?

If anything, school will make an introvert more anxious.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by AAK View Post
Maybe I will bring her home now. This morning was difficult! I still feel guilty about sending her to school.
In all the years I've participated in forums like this or email lists, I have never ever seen anyone say she wishes she'd waited instead of pulling her child out as soon as she realized they'd be homeschooling - but I've seen lots of people say they wish they'd pulled them out right away. That was my case - I wish I'd realized I could have just pulled my son out as soon as I realized I wanted to homeschool. There's nothing to "complete" by leaving them in till summertime - whereas there's a beautiful spring coming along that children can be fully enjoying outside of a classroom.
Lillian
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Thanks again for giving me the confidence to follow my heart. I can't believe how emotional I am about this.

Amy
 

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Originally Posted by AAK View Post
I can't believe how emotional I am about this.
That's right on schedule. And you'll be emotional in a celebratory sense once you're on your way. Then you might panic a little, but that too will pass.
Lillian
 

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AAK I just wanted to give you a
.
you are a sweet mama for considering all this so quickly, it can be difficult to balance different temperments in a house. you have already bumped into one of the biggest "side-effects" of teaching your children. you get to learn all sorts of stuff about yourself too!
 
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