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So, I've posted so much about all the stress and hard stuff with Isaac's adoption/transition/bonding, thought it was time to share a positive story


Isaac is going to preschool--and liking it!!!!! I started him at the same center I used to have Connor at before he went to public pre-K this year. My regular babysitter had schedule conflicts, and since I would need him in FT in the Fall for my externships, and I would be gone this summer again, it made sense to transition him now when there was time to do it slowly. He has been there about 3 1/2 weeks. I started off with just 2-3 hours a day, picking him up before lunch. With the allergy issues, I wanted them to be able to "practice" mealtime during snacks (which are basically allergy free for him), since they do community tables, and get a feel for what they need to watch for (grabbing, sharing, etc). Also, get comfortable with his choking issues. So he cried every.single.morning for the first 10 days or so. I learned the hard way through Sunday school that the longer I stay, the longer he cries. But if I give a quick peck, a breezy I love you see in in a little while, and leave, he stops within seconds as long as they hold him and reassure him. Then, we figured out that his teacher came in about 30 minutes after I was dropping him off, and one day I was running late, and she was there and he didn't cry or cling at all! So, I started taking him a little later, and now even if she is not there for an appt or something, he runs in smiling and happy and doesn't look back
We are up to almost 6 hours a day, where we will probably stay for a while. I still need to get him used to the early mornings there, because dh will have to take him way earlier this summer, but that can wait for now.

While there, he is playing and interacting with the other kids! He still shadows the teacher a bit, but is continuing to venture out and explore more and more. He saw one of the teachers at the store the other day and ran to hug her. He is tired from playing when he comes home and sleeping better at night even. Best of all, although he wants to snuggle and reconnect when we get home, he is not clingy and difficult like he has been when I have had to be gone previously
I think he has finally figured out that I am not going anywhere. What a long way we've come come in a year and a half.

Just a shout out to how wonderful this center is--when he would cry when I left (or Connor for that matter when he first started), they held him until he calmed, even if that meant working with a baby on their hip all day. His teacher is pg, and scheduled all her appts on Tuesdays, because he doesn't go then, and she thought it would be easier on him. She is already anticipating how to transition him to a different teacher during her mat leave this summer. On days he "bonded" to a different teacher because his wasn't there when he arrived, they let him shadow her all day instead of going to his class if he had trouble transitioning. And, if that weren't enough, they took all the allergy and swallowing/choking issues in stride. Plus, they are ok with cloth trainers. And this is a national chain center.

Anyway, some of the other threads got me thinking and I just wanted to share how far Isaac has come. I honestly wasn't sure a few months ago that I was going to be able to do my externship and graduate (or at least, do it and not damage his psyche forever). It is such a great feeling to watch him be so...normal and happy and content. He's still a little stinker who loves to push buttons, but it is much more "normal 2yo stuff" now rather than attachment related stuff. Thanks for sharing with me
 

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Hooray! It's so wonderful to take a moment and acknowledge progress. We have had our VERY difficult times as well on the attachment front, so I know how great it feels to make progress.

Our daughter has actually done very well in settings outside of the home and I have been so grateful for those other caregivers whom she is able to be connected to without the complicating grief, loss and attachment issues. We had her in the type of loving daycare environment you describe, and it was truly wonderful. I miss it now that she's in school.

So congratulations. When you're in the thick of things, it's hard to imagine things could change or improve.
 

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Carrie, thanks for sharing such a positive story! I am so happy for you and for Isaac! The center sounds WONDERFUL, and I'm sure it's a huge relief for your whole family that you've found a place that is so child-focused. Wow!



And after everything you and your family have gone through, you deserve this! I hope it just gets better and better from here.
 

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Hold on. A year and a half?!?! Whew, time flies (I know it sometimes doesn't seem like it, though, huh?!).

I'm so glad to hear the update!!!!!!!
 
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