Hello fellow mammas, im just ranting here and maybe in the need of some hugs...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I *had* a very low self esteem, ever since i was very young, i really cared too much about people said or thought about me, when i get to the point of just doing things to please everybody around me, and specially my school classmates. Just becuase when i was 11, a group of girls started to bother me of how fat i was (and looking at pictures of me at that age, i wonder what its their meaning of fat as i was skinny) i decided not to eat. But later i thought that my parents will find out that i had stop eating, so opted to throw up everything i ate, the easy way to be thinner and as i thought with no consequences.<br>
There ws no single day that my school peers tell me how ugly i was ever since i was little, i was always by myself the black sheep of the school, friendless. My neighbor (who is 2 years older than i am) ack in my hometwon always used to tell me about my ugly hair, and chicken legs. When actually i had, beautiful curly hair. I cut it off, becuase at that time in my mind it was ugly. I never wore shorts since the first day she insulted me of how i looked. I didnt want to show my ugly chicken legs. I was also told about my height(i'm tall) and wished i were shorter. One day when i was 13, a girl told me how i wished i could kill myself. I started with cutting first. atempted suicide at the age of 14, luckily my dad found me and saved my life.<br><br>
My DH, has been drug and alcohol(sp?) free for 7 years know, he was a cocaine addict for years. He successfully completed rehab and he's living a normal and healthy life, and he's a wonderful DH and a loving father.<br><br>
Now I learned to love myself and how i am. And i feel proud of myself becuase of that, i know that i'm not useless and there are many things that i can do. I learned that love is real, that they are nice persons in this world.<br><br>
Cesar was the greatest gift that DH and I could ever recieved. He've showed us lots of things others cant. And how finally we did something right<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br>
He's loving(maybe a little jealous), active, intelligent, he's everything we need. He's just perfect. Its so amazing, when i go out by myself to get home and see him trowing his toys aside and running to give me a big hug and kisses. It's so great to see DH crossing the doors of *our* house after a long day's work with a smile on his face. We are happy.<br><br>
Thanks for listening mammas<br>
hugs are welcome<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
I *had* a very low self esteem, ever since i was very young, i really cared too much about people said or thought about me, when i get to the point of just doing things to please everybody around me, and specially my school classmates. Just becuase when i was 11, a group of girls started to bother me of how fat i was (and looking at pictures of me at that age, i wonder what its their meaning of fat as i was skinny) i decided not to eat. But later i thought that my parents will find out that i had stop eating, so opted to throw up everything i ate, the easy way to be thinner and as i thought with no consequences.<br>
There ws no single day that my school peers tell me how ugly i was ever since i was little, i was always by myself the black sheep of the school, friendless. My neighbor (who is 2 years older than i am) ack in my hometwon always used to tell me about my ugly hair, and chicken legs. When actually i had, beautiful curly hair. I cut it off, becuase at that time in my mind it was ugly. I never wore shorts since the first day she insulted me of how i looked. I didnt want to show my ugly chicken legs. I was also told about my height(i'm tall) and wished i were shorter. One day when i was 13, a girl told me how i wished i could kill myself. I started with cutting first. atempted suicide at the age of 14, luckily my dad found me and saved my life.<br><br>
My DH, has been drug and alcohol(sp?) free for 7 years know, he was a cocaine addict for years. He successfully completed rehab and he's living a normal and healthy life, and he's a wonderful DH and a loving father.<br><br>
Now I learned to love myself and how i am. And i feel proud of myself becuase of that, i know that i'm not useless and there are many things that i can do. I learned that love is real, that they are nice persons in this world.<br><br>
Cesar was the greatest gift that DH and I could ever recieved. He've showed us lots of things others cant. And how finally we did something right<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br>
He's loving(maybe a little jealous), active, intelligent, he's everything we need. He's just perfect. Its so amazing, when i go out by myself to get home and see him trowing his toys aside and running to give me a big hug and kisses. It's so great to see DH crossing the doors of *our* house after a long day's work with a smile on his face. We are happy.<br><br>
Thanks for listening mammas<br>
hugs are welcome<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
