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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My cousins two children live next door to me. they are 5 and 7. He is never there, and when he is, he is doped up or drinking or sleeping. He lives with his mom, who basically raises his two boys. Anyway, today, they were outside playing with my 2yo ds' toys, with no permission, or adults around, as per usual. Ds wanted to go outside at this time, as we had not been out all day, and we were about to go out anyway. The boys have just gotten over the flu and have snot two inches thick running down there noses. It was like 50 today in the wind. I told them they needed to go home. I did not want a)ds to get sick. b) ds' toys to break again(they have broken 3 of his toys) and c) did not want to be a free babysitter . They did not listen to me so I called their grandma, who is my aunt. I was very nice and just explained how I did not want ds to get sick, and also that they are really too old to be playing with ds' things and ds for that matter. They are pretty rough kids.<br><br>
She got so mad at me. Then, as I was speaking to her on the phone, the 5 yo(who was driving a GOLF CART unsupervised as he always does, another rant there<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: ) ran into our waterhose pole and snapped our main water pipe line. So, we had to go buy pieces and fix it. She or my cousin said/did nothing. this goes on all the time. They ride they golf cart, and run into things. They rode over our newly planted garden.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: They ran into the clothes line.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I am really tired of nobody watching these kids!
 

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Wow. That sounds miserable. I'm sorry.
 

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I'd definitely bring all the toys inside or lock them in a toy box of some sort, to minimize the appeal of playing in my yard.
 

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I recently read of several incidents of people being hurt/killed by kids driving golf carts. You should report to the police or DCF, IMO. Never mind catching their cold, I'd be worried what happens when they drive over your son with the golf cart???
 

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It depends on how serious you want to get, but it sounds like this have been out of control for awhile now and the serious is what they need. A 5 year old driving a golf cart is way beyond the "build a tall fence" suggestion, IMHO. (For the toys thing, yes that is a good solution, though.)<br><br>
Next time it happens, call the police. Just relay the facts. . .2 young boys out side driving a golf cart unsupervised. It's still considered a motor vehicle, ya know? And that's extremely serious and dangerous. I mean, do the same thing you'd do if you were driving to the store on the other side of town and see a 5 year old driving a golf cart all alone -- what would you do if you didn't know the child? If the adults in these children's lives can't make the proper judgement, then someone else needs to. It's just unfortunate that you are related to these children, in a way, because it just makes the family situation very sticky.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>crazydiamond</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7328694"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">It depends on how serious you want to get, but it sounds like this have been out of control for awhile now and the serious is what they need. A 5 year old driving a golf cart is way beyond the "build a tall fence" suggestion, IMHO. (For the toys thing, yes that is a good solution, though.)<br><br>
Next time it happens, call the police. Just relay the facts. . .2 young boys out side driving a golf cart unsupervised. It's still considered a motor vehicle, ya know? And that's extremely serious and dangerous. I mean, do the same thing you'd do if you were driving to the store on the other side of town and see a 5 year old driving a golf cart all alone -- what would you do if you didn't know the child? If the adults in these children's lives can't make the proper judgement, then someone else needs to. It's just unfortunate that you are related to these children, in a way, because it just makes the family situation very sticky.</div>
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I agree
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Well, thanks for the replies!!!<br><br>
I know, its terrible but here are the facts that complicate things:<br>
they are family. we live in a family comm, about 5 family members live all together around here. We have 6 acres of land, which is fenced in, but left open for the car to go through at the bottom. they have one acre of land, we live off a dirt road in the county. they dont drive on the road at all that i know of. I want them to stop driving the golf cart, but i dont want to report them, ykwim? I would feel terrible if I caused this big family conflict. My aunt doesnt care if they drive it, and neither does cousin(their dad). I often see the 5yo driving with the 7 yo hanging off the back of it, dragging his body across the ground.
 

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I'm sorry but the golf cart thing is completely unacceptable. You don't want to report them but how will you feel visiting the hospital (or worse) when an injury occurs? And what will you do if they don't injure themselves, which is horrific enough, but your DC?
 

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Cut the gas line in the golf cart if nobody else will stop them. Sounds mean, but it solves two problems.<br><br>
I would either call a family meeting and explain the problem, or else just call CPS. Its pretty obvious that nobody is actively caring for these children, and somebody needs to step in. Adults hurt feelings be damned, the kids are the ones that are suffering and will continue to suffer if something isn't done. You think they are bad now? Wait until they are teens driving around a golf cart or hanging out in your yard.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Transitions</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7329052"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would feel terrible if I caused this big family conflict.</div>
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You would feel worse if one of them were seriously injured or killed -- or if your own dc was.<br><br>
There are so many threads on MDC about causing family conflict over one thing or another - grandma wants to buy plastic toys for ds, or aunt thinks I should feed dd rice cereal. Most of them are pretty harmless things, but this one is serious - it involves children's safety and lives. This is something you need to think about feeling bad about if you *don't* intervene, I think.<br><br>
A 5 & 7 year old driving a golf cart, which they have neither the cognitive nor the psychomotor skills to appropriately operate has the potential to cause serious harm.<br><br>
I think you do need to get involved. Take it to the family first, and it action isn't seen absolutely immediately, call CPS.
 

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It sounds harsh but, maybe some tire spikes around your property line is in order. They sould also pay for the broken water line. If me of one ov=f my kids broke someone elses anything I would want to know so I could cover the damages.
 

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I would be seriously mad. I agree with the other posters....the golf cart needs to go one way or another. Family or no family.
 

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I like the idea one of the PP had about calling a family meeting and dealing with the problem together as a family. Just wondering how do the other family members feel about these boys and your aunt?
 

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Transitions</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7329052"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Well, thanks for the replies!!!<br><br>
I know, its terrible but here are the facts that complicate things:<br>
they are family. we live in a family comm, about 5 family members live all together around here. We have 6 acres of land, which is fenced in, but left open for the car to go through at the bottom. they have one acre of land, we live off a dirt road in the county. they dont drive on the road at all that i know of. I want them to stop driving the golf cart, but i dont want to report them, ykwim? I would feel terrible if I caused this big family conflict. My aunt doesnt care if they drive it, and neither does cousin(their dad). I often see the 5yo driving with the 7 yo hanging off the back of it, dragging his body across the ground.</div>
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You may be made a scapegoat for causing the family conflict, but I don't understand how the "family" can ignore the conflict being CAUSED by your cousins' failure to supervise his children. (And your aunt's failure to do so as well, though it is not exactly fair to her to let the junkie cousin off the hook.)<br><br>
Anyway - it seems like you have a few choices:<br>
a) wait for someone - possibly your DS - to be seriously injured by the kids driving the golf cart,<br>
b) continue to feel like your cousin is using you, as well as his mother, as a free babysitter without your consent,<br>
c) start a discussion as a family about the problems being caused by your cousin's failure as a parent, and (hopefully) begin to address them<br>
d) call cps or the police,<br>
e) begin searching for a home of your own where you can be safe from your couisin and his children.
 

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I would make a call to child services.Most times your name will not be shared,or you don't even have to give it!Children should not be exposed to drugs,unsupervised,or allowed to damage property(even that of relatives) without some sort of penalty.It will only get worse as time passes.<br><br>
Your aunt got mad at you for asking her to taking in the kids,and you worry about family conflict? It is already in conflict.If other relatives side with this sort of behavior then perhaps moving is the best option if they do not move first.<br><br>
We often get offered a free new house if only we would move next to/near dh's parents and brother...no thanks!<br><br>
Even if you put up a fence they sound like the type to knock it down or draw on it.Spikes-chances are the kids step on them and you get sued.
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Thanks again for more replies. Family meeting is out. Everyone *feels sorry* for the kids because their mom walked out on them(drugs) and left them with their dad about 3 years ago, so nobody says much. The dad doesnt use drugs around them, but he is a crappy father IMO. He lays around watching tv making them get their own breakfast half the time, or if they are fighting each other(as they do all the time)he lets them and ignores the conflict. Last week the 7yo headbutted the 5yo in a fight, and instead of correcting behaviour or even getting his a$$ off the couch to help, he tells the 7yo to come to him and then head butts him and says how did you like that!?<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/gloomy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Gloomy">:<br><br>
Yeah, something needs doing but CPS around here is well, how can i put it, um..they know our family and would turn a blind eye basically.<br><br>
I cannot move right now, as both dh and i are out of a job and we are living with my elderly father, but believe me. We will as soon as we can! The aunt has not once called down here to check about the water or even apologize. This is my dads sister!
 
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