Mothering Forum banner

1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
586 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
so 7 year old is about 1 year in to her adhd diagnosis. On the whole she seems to be improving. Dp has declined any medicines to help her adhd. She has done behavior therapy hear and there, and has a para at school. I just beginning to wonder at what cost is her treatment to the family as a whole. My 9 year old broke down and said she is the only reason he hides in his room all day. I have grown very distant from my own ds because of her issues. I attempt to talk to him alone in his room for 10 minutes and the girls cannot handle it, and there will be some crisis or the knock at the door etc.

I, feel i cannot leave her alone unsupervised because she sometimes gets to handsy and I have heard her and my dd talk about kissing before, etc. I do not believe she has been abused, but she will watch kissing videos on youtube etc (which is now blocked) and she just seems off in the boundaries dept. Like completely stripping naked in front of my ds at a bday party when they were 6 and 8 (it absolutely horrified my ds).She is always asking to sleep in the other girls room or bedroom and begged to sleep with dd many times but I am afraid she will be touchy feely with dd so will not allow it. Is being too handsy part of adhd? Innappropriate affection I mean? We do not let them watch innappropriate movies etc, at all. Dp always worries something happened to her when she was staying somewhere when smaller, uncles or something? Idk, but I also no some kids just do that and aren't abused, i know she watches music videos elsewhere that are not G rated. And she mimics a lot, she mimics the little ones a ton, so she likely will mimic videos and things. Those incidents are few and far between, but should we be concerned?

Behavior wise, she still does not listen or follow rules, lies all the time and often gets the little ones to join her in a bad idea and they all get in trouble.

Academics the school says she is improving a lot, she still struggles a ton in math and will make up exuses to go to the nurse to get out of it etc. Or still occasionally throw fits. 2nd grade starts next week so i am both looking forward to the break but afraid of the transisiton with the new teacher.

Just looking for inputs on her boundary behavior as well as the lieing and not listening...Is this due to adhd? Her hyperactivity is the least of my issue. I can handle that just the other issues i cannot figure out how to help fix, or if meds are the best route?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
530 Posts
My daughter is 8, has ADHD, and getting her to keep her clothes on in a socially appropriate way has been an issue forever. She has always liked to rip them off, and we didn't care when she was 2, as long as it wasn't somewhere public. She still needs coaching. She's had very limited exposure to sitters - all her childcare has been in group situations and they had protocols for an adult going off alone with a child at her preschool and her school - I just don't suspect abuse. I really think it's just her and she's slow to pick up on boundaries. I am no expert, but it's my understanding that social behavior is often delayed in ADHD.

The lying and not-listening, I am not so sure is just ADHD. Sometimes my daughter doesn't listen because she really isn't listening - it hasn't broken into her awareness that I'm talking to her. She gets very hyperfocused when she plays. I do the same thing, and my partner is quite used to pointing out to me that someone else is speaking to me. But she doesn't deliberately, defiantly turn away from listening to me. So is your daughter aware you are talking to her and defying you, or is she having trouble modulating her attention and does not even register that she is being spoken to?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
586 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 · (Edited)
My daughter is 8, has ADHD, and getting her to keep her clothes on in a socially appropriate way has been an issue forever. She has always liked to rip them off, and we didn't care when she was 2, as long as it wasn't somewhere public. She still needs coaching. She's had very limited exposure to sitters - all her childcare has been in group situations and they had protocols for an adult going off alone with a child at her preschool and her school - I just don't suspect abuse. I really think it's just her and she's slow to pick up on boundaries. I am no expert, but it's my understanding that social behavior is often delayed in ADHD.

The lying and not-listening, I am not so sure is just ADHD. Sometimes my daughter doesn't listen because she really isn't listening - it hasn't broken into her awareness that I'm talking to her. She gets very hyperfocused when she plays. I do the same thing, and my partner is quite used to pointing out to me that someone else is speaking to me. But she doesn't deliberately, defiantly turn away from listening to me. So is your daughter aware you are talking to her and defying you, or is she having trouble modulating her attention and does not even register that she is being spoken to?
she usually gets talked to about her behavior in her room without tv or other distractions. I use her name a lot when I ask her to stop doing something, since there so many kids names usually come first.

The clothes and touching thing i did suspect just boundary issues. I personally don't think she has been abused physically. I just think she doesn't know right from wrong. I am seeing a lot of her behaviors are stunted. I see the 4 year olds are beginning to surpass her maturity level in certain areas. She still has tantrums, though they are lessening.

My dp said he lied all the time when he was younger (also adhd) I thought it may be related.

On a good note her teacher this school year hand picked her. I looked up her info and she appears to be a divorced mother and teacher for over 20 years. I think she will be a perfect fit for her and will hopefully be a great resource this year for dsd.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
586 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
this is a fairly old post but i wanted to say dsd is still improving very well. Her behavior at home and school is becoming much better. She still has some issues to work on but on the whole everything is looking up. Still no medication for her. She doesn't even need summer school this summer because her grades are that much better. She is staying this afternoon at school for the movie fundraiser for the first time. I let ds do it at the end of 1st grade for the first time but felt dsd wasn't ready just yet but she seems to have matured and grown well this school year. Her teacher has been a tremendous help. We also stopped the midweek overnights with her bio mom since she moved further away and it was disrupting her sleep. She has woken much less this past school year as well whereas it used to be almost a nightly issue she may have trouble sleeping one night every couple weeks. She hasn't had any chronic ear infections this year either, her health seems to be improving as well. She has been in gymnastics all school year and advanced to the next class and went to bible study all school year on wednesdays. Where in september she was getting into trouble now in april she is the model student! So proud of her. Thinking she just needed stability and time to grow into herself.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Xerxella
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top