[donnaworkingmomto4]

Hospital is my plan B right now. There are no midwifes anywhere near where I live and I cannot travel. I know people on here always say you can refuse anything... but really how well will that go over?

I'm a vbac(due to coerced twin c-sec, nothing wrong with my pelvis), but I do not want to deliver in the OR. I do not want an episiotomy under any circumstances. I want delayed cord cutting, don't want my placenta ripped out of me... I want to keep my placenta. I want to deliver how I want to deliver with -- and I do not want an IV in me nor drugs, nor phantom injections of crap without my consent... no hands where I don't want them. I don't want my baby taken from me at ALL and do not want any tests or injections or procedures on the baby.

I am not willing to compromise... yet there are no birth centers anywhere near my area and my anxiety about this is just building and building... plan A is to stay at home as long as we are ok.. I'm worried about getting the birth certificate and all the crap I might have to go through there... or being investigated etc.

I just can't be at full peace with any of my options right now and it is very disheartening. Anybody have a hospital birth and actually get away with keeping the wolves off of you and your baby? Will they threaten me with legal action?

 

[mamatoady]

With my first I had the same concerns you have now. I would highly suggest getting a doula who knows your birth plan forwards and back and also has an idea of what is truly medically necessary. They will help advocate for you.

2nd--birth plans go over a lot better in hospitals when they are written positively. For example you could say "I refuse to allow doctors to use forcepts to deliver my baby" or "I would like to have the opportunity to use different birthing positions (squatting, walking, hands and knees) to help baby through the birth canal before any interventions are used (i.e. forcepts/vacuum)...

you can say "I refuse to allow an epesiotomy" or "I prefer to tear naturally and am opossed to an episiotomy"

There are websites (google for it) that can help you create a great birthplan and help you not leave anything out.

3rd. Remember that your goal is to have a healthy baby. Midwives have used oxygen and break waters and sometimes transfer to a hospital.

4th do your research. Know the different drugs they might try to give you because even if you know you want a natural birth, something might come up where it is necessary to medicate you and you should have knowledge of what the options are. This is also true regarding internal fetal monitoring,c-section, and rooming in with baby.

You do have the right to say no to procedures, but a doctor in all his medical lingo can be pretty darn convincing so unless you know exactly what is happening, in the throws of labor it can be hard to stand up for yourself.

sarah

 

[MomtoXane]

When I did my hospital birthing class they told me that they don't do routine episiotomies, pitocin, immediate cord clamping, mandatory IVs, etc. Surprisingly enough when I had my VBAC there everything they said was true! They were very natural birth oriented and my birth plan didn't even get brought out of my bag. So my first suggestion is to tour the hospital and get to know what their routines are and what battles you may be facing. My other suggestion is to get someone other than your partner to be your advocate. Whether that's a doula or a good friend who will stick up for you, your decisions, and what you believe is best. GL!

 

[RachaelsMommy]

I second the idea of getting a doula. She might also be able to recommend an OB who natural supports natural birth. Make sure the OB supports your birth plan. I don't know if you have a choice of hospitals, but if you have more than one in your area, find out which is more open to natural birth.

It's such a shame that we have to fight for what we want when we're trying to give birth!

 

[listipton]

do you have a natural birth-friendly doctor lined up?? I delivered #2 naturally in a hospital known for it's high intervention rate but since my doc was all about the natural birth process, my requests were honored and the nursing staff was really supportive

 

[kristenly83]

i agree that a doula would be very helpful.

i have heard of women waiting in the parking lot of hospitals until they were crowning and then going in. although you would still have to deal with them wanting to take your baby away.

i don't know if you have an obgyn but i read a great idea in the book "pushed" about having your doctor write and sign a prescription pad with what the two of you agree on (like: no episiotomy, food and drink ok during labor, ect.) that way when you get to the hospital you don't have to fight against their policies.

 

[donnaworkingmomto4]

Quote:

Originally Posted by listipton do you have a natural birth-friendly doctor lined up?? I delivered #2 naturally in a hospital known for it's high intervention rate but since my doc was all about the natural birth process, my requests were honored and the nursing staff was really supportive

No, I don't. She doesn't seem too extreme for mainstream, but she is the kind that would prefer I just schedule a c-sec. And when I was trying to refuse all the pelvic exam and std tests in the beginning, I was told I would not be able to be a patient there... so I let them have their way. I have done a lot of online searching and come up with zilch anywhere within two hours of where I live. I wish I could just move.

 

[mclisa]

I think it would be nice to have OB care during your pregnancy where you would have a chance to explain what you desire. Nothing is wrong with your requests. They just need to be phrased as a team effort. Not "refused" but simply "declined".

 

[NizhoniTwice]

Hospital is my plan B right now. There are no midwifes anywhere near where I live and I cannot travel. I know people on here always say you can refuse anything... but really how well will that go over?

I'm a vbac(due to coerced twin c-sec, nothing wrong with my pelvis), but I do not want to deliver in the OR. I do not want an episiotomy under any circumstances. I want delayed cord cutting, don't want my placenta ripped out of me... I want to keep my placenta. I want to deliver how I want to deliver with -- and I do not want an IV in me nor drugs, nor phantom injections of crap without my consent... no hands where I don't want them. I don't want my baby taken from me at ALL and do not want any tests or injections or procedures on the baby.

I'm worried about getting the birth certificate and all the crap I might have to go through there... or being investigated etc.

Write all your wishes in a birth plan. Here is a sample of my birth plan. It fits in one page (printed).

Your Family Name's Birth Plan

Following is a statement of our birth plan and childbirth choices. We have educated ourselves prior to making these decisions and respectfully request that they be carried out. We realize that complications do arise and in such instances require our caretakers to explain in detail (including the risks) any procedure they would advise us to use, or any substance that they would like to give the mother and/or baby. No decision should be made by the medical team on our behalf without our clear consent. Thank you for taking the time to read this and helping us realize our birth plan.

Labor
-Please no artificial augmentation of labor.
-Please do not offer drugs for the management of pain.
-We desire flexibility for use of different positions in labor and delivery.
-If available, I would like to labor in water.
-I do not want an IV unless an emergency requires it.
-We want the freedom to eat and drink during labor.
-Please keep vaginal exams to a minimum.
-Intermittent external monitoring of our baby only when necessary.
-Bag of waters to rupture naturally.
-Please no students or residents.
-Please keep my room quiet and dimly lit.

Birth
-Please avoid an episiotomy; I prefer to tear.
-I would like to have a mirror available to see the crowning and birth.
-Please respect my desired position for delivery (squat or other).
-Wait to clamp cord until it ceases pulsing, Husband to cut cord.
-Place baby on mother's abdomen immediately after birth.
-Allow the placenta to expel naturally while breastfeeding the baby, no pitocin.
-Placenta is to be taken home.

Baby
-Please place baby directly on my chest without washing.
-Do not suction baby, if necessary support baby in prone position.
-Rooming in, do not send baby to the nursery.
-Husband will accompany baby to the nursery for initial weight and check up.
-Do not bathe the baby, please rub vernix onto baby's skin, do not wipe vernix off.
-No vitamin K shot, eye antibiotics or Hep B shot.
-Exclusively breastfeeding (no bottles, pacifiers, glucose water, formula).
-If it is a boy, no circumcision

Like a PP said, having a doula with you to make sure your wishes are respected would be ideal. Pre-registering at the hospital will also give you a better idea of what kind of labor and delivery department they have - you may want to take your birth plan with you so they can put it in your file.

About birth certificate (I'm guessing in case you have the baby at home?)....you don't have to worry about it. Just go to your local health department's office of vital records where you can get a blank certificate of live birth. You fill it out after baby is born. You will then need to mail it in within a week of the birth or it becomes very difficult (with additional paperwork, etc) to get the baby a birth certificate. If you get the certificate before baby comes and mail it in a timely manner it's a piece of cake. I see no reason why you would be investigated??

Good luck with everything!! I wish you and your little one a wonderful birth!

:

 

[dogmom327]

Quote:

Originally Posted by elephantine No, I don't. She doesn't seem too extreme for mainstream, but she is the kind that would prefer I just schedule a c-sec. And when I was trying to refuse all the pelvic exam and std tests in the beginning, I was told I would not be able to be a patient there... so I let them have their way. I have done a lot of online searching and come up with zilch anywhere within two hours of where I live. I wish I could just move.

Have you tried posting in the Finding my Tribe section? There might be mama's in your area who would have specific provider suggestions.

 

[Christina381]

I made the same decisions you did..

I was a vbac as well and due to a thyroid tumor and hyperthyroidism that developed during my pregnancy a HB wasnt an option.. Soo.. I waited until I knew my labor was transitioning.. I enjoyed my labor at home and when they were about a minute apart I went to the hospital.. told my nurse no IV's no pic lines and stripped off my clothes and got into the shower.. there wasnt alot she could do.. we locked the door and spent 45 glorious minutes in there in the steam and dark.. when I was done, I walked out, climbed on the bed and pushed my son out..

At 35 weeks gestation I brought an article to my ob appointment that i found on MT that scientically proves keeping cord attached benefitted the baby.. he could not deny it so my sons cord was left attached as well..

knowledge is power..

bless wishes

~christina

 

[kohlby]

I did end up with two medically needed c-sections. But the experiences weren't negative since I know they were needed and my dr was very supportive with me trying a vaginal birth. I did argue with more than a couple nurses however. But it helped to have a dr who was on my side. I could easily say that this is the way I'm doing things and you can talk to my dr if you wish. With a dr who thought like me, I was set! My dr even got me out of hospital policies I hadn't thought of! It was great! I tried a VBAC with an 11lb 4oz baby at 41 weeks along. Not only did I not have constant monitoring, but I was simply told to walk the halls but stay in the maternity wing and a time to check back in my room so they could hook me up for a few minutes to check the heartrate. I was told to walk for two hours before the first check and then an hour, then another hour, then another hour, etc. I was only hooked up for real when labor stalled for several hours so I let my dr break my bag of waters.

*Not getting the IV was one of the arguements I had with the nurse. I did accept a pic line and my OB fully supported that - since it's much harder to walk around hooked up to an IV!

Since I'm a scheduled c-section for the first time, I'm not doing a birth plan since it's the same OB as before. I am going to have a list of instructions for the baby nurses though because that's the only place that I can't be physically there to make my wishes clear. Last time, I included what to do in case of low blood sugar in my birth plan - and it was needed. I was able to bf my DD who had a blood sugar of 38 when hospital policy was to give sugar water/formula immediately when it's that low. (She had meconium so I hadn't been able to bf her right away).

 

[Goatriffic]

I haven't read all the responses but have you checked out http://www.ican-online.org/? They have local support groups. Maybe you could get a recommendation for a more supportive care provider. With my vbac in the hospital I switched providers at about 6 months and found a better hospital. I had a good experience and it was totally worth the stress of finding someone who was supportive of vbac. I did have to make a few compromises, like I consented to a hep lock but never had an IV, and I had about 20 mins of monitoring with the belts when I first got to the hospital and then with doppler after that once an hour. Other than that I was able to move around freely during labor, spend time in the shower, and I was never pressured into anything I didn't want. I think it's a lot easier to try and find a supportive care giver before labor than fight interventions during, if at all possible. With my last birth I chose homebirth with a midwife and even though my hospital vbac was a good experience it was so much better at home. Is that an option for you?

 

[tak]

I don't know where you are, but here medical intervention isn't standard practice unless indicated by a doctor and consented to by the mother. The only exception would be a true emergency c-section, which is incredibly rare (when mom is put under general and no one is in the OR -- I've only heard of it happening once and I know people who've been having babies here for almost 15 years). That's the only time you won't be able to discuss the procedures with your midwife/doctor/nurses. Otherwise everything is negotiable. If you go in hard-headed and act like the hospital is out to get you may not have a great relationship with the hospital staff, but they are required to obtain consent for any medical interventions.

 

[justbishop]

^ I'm assuming (idk why, just am) that you're in the US. I'm a 1st timer and am asking in earnest (I don't mean to come off as sarcastic at all)...isn't consent sometimes as simple as a nurse coming in and saying something like "we're just gonna give you something to help your contractions along" when they really mean Pitocin? I'm just curious as to how an "ok" from a patient in that situation could be legally considered informed consent??

Maybe I've just watched too much "A Baby Story" :/

 

[liliaceae]

Not all hospitals are that bad. Have you gone on a hospital tour yet?

 

[CookAMH]

I've read on here that an easy simple birth plan (as opposed to a 3 page novel with extreme detail and forecefulness) and a lighthearted attitude will go a long way. Don't go in all militant about what you want and don't want. Hospital is our Plan B too, the birth center is where we hope to be. I will have a separate birth plan and consent form.

I'd perhaps consider what you sign upon admittance that gives consent for any all procedures. Edit it the way you want and don't give consent on that paper to things you don't agree to in the first place. Read it carefully.

If you don't have a doula, make sure DH is on the same page as you and willing to speak up. If baby must leave the room, he goes along and stays with your baby *AT ALL TIMES*.

 

[michelle.english19]

I'm attempting a VBA2C in April at a hospital different than where my first two were born so I may not be a good source of advice for this. But one of my friends from my LLL group is studying to be a doula and she's very passionate about natural birth and a woman's right to choose all things related to her delivery. She said to throw out the "prayer" card. Tell the nurses and/or dr. to please leave you and your partner alone so that you can "pray" about it. She said that religion terrifies them in the hospital and they usually run out and change their tune. So maybe that would help a little bit. Now, I don't mean to sound flippant when I say "prayer card." For me, personally, religion and spirituality are very personal and intimate. But I wouldn't have thought to tell the nurses this during labor when they are trying to force this, that, or the other on me. I am glad my friend told me to try this as a technique, for lack of a better word, to combat their insistence on doing one thing or another to me or the baby. And of course, in my opinion, a little prayer never hurt anybody.

I'm reading "Birthing from Within" right now. In it there are pocket lists of questions to ask when they want to intervene in the labor, i.e., interrupt the natural process. questions like, "What other options can we try? What will happen if we do this and if we don't do this?" Etc. You can probably check it out from your local library. That's where I got it.

I also think that the others are right on the mark when they say to hire a doula. Also, I think it's important that your partner be fully aware of waht you want and don't want for you and the baby. I have a lot of tutoring to do with my husband! I do all the reading. He does nothing. So I'm gonna have to explain to him what I want/don't want and why. Seems like men need to understand the "why" to have strong convictions about something.

Good luck!!!! and I applaud you for asking this question now. I was too naieve to do it with my first pregnancy and too depressed to do it with my second.

 

[donnaworkingmomto4]

Well, I finally had an appointment today -- been walking around with a UTI for about a month now, called several times about this and anxiety attacks, awful GERD, and alarming contractions -- got one callback where the snooty nurse told me that the doctor can't do anything for me until I come in, and no sorry there is nothing earlier than what I was scheduled for already. When I insisted that she talk to the doctor, she said she would get back with me... she never did.

I brought in a typed spreadsheet record I have been keeping of my blood glucose levels, because I was pretty sure they would spring the glucola test on me today. I was right - and when I told the phlebotomist that I needed to talk to my doctor first and wasn't prepared to do the test -- she turned totally rude with hand and facial gestures of disapproval and just shoo'd me out. So I went back to the waiting room and the nurse called me a little while later -- took my weight, but as we walked by the lab -- the phleb yelled out "you know she didn't take it right?" and the nurse huffed a big "I know!" shrugging her shoulders.

When we got in the room she told me that I had to have that test or I would be fired as a patient. I explained I brought in my own records and that the glucola makes me sick and is a very unnatural test for me because I do not drink soda nor eat candy other than occasional chocolate. I never consume straight sugar and don't handle carbonation well. She again insisted that I had no choice, and I firmly stated that I wasn't taking it. And she huffed and puffed out of the room saying "we'll see what the doctor says about this!"

The doctor came in rude and huffy as well -- asked me how I had been doing... before I got a few words out about the messages I had left over the past month, she said "I'm not taking you off work. I see no medical reason for it."(a doctor's excuse note had been one of the many requests I had made) It had been 7 weeks since my last appointment -- only supposed to be 4, but I had to reschedule and they said the soonest they could get me in was another 3 weeks.

So she fired me as a patient --first she tried to say that Louisiana state law requires all these tests -- especially the second syphyllis test she was wanting to draw along with the glucola.

And I corrected her on her misinformation, it may be her practice's preference but there is no such state law. Then she said that my uncooperation left her unable to properly care for me or my baby... then I tried to hand her my records and she wouldn't even look at them.

So she was just going to leave it at that and was about to leave the room -- until I was like, fine -- don't even address the UTI I have been suffering with for WEEKS... it follows the pattern of substandard care you've offered me to date. Her eyes widened and she said she would look at my urinalysis before zipping out the door, but she had this condescending tone as if to just write off my concerns as paranoia or lies.

She came back with a different tone clearing her throat that there does appear to be blood in my sample, so she's prescribing antibiotics etc.

She wanted to refer me to the horrible student hospital on the other side of town and I said I would never go there... I asked if she knew of any natural birth oriented OBs and she shook her head and said there is really nothing of the kind around here.(All my search efforts have indeed been fruitless so far.. I am in a horrible area for natural birth

)

So, no doctor's note for my conditions -- which means I will lose my only source of income ... but at least I have something to treat this UTI. I want to file a formal complaint letter.... wondering if it would go anywhere?

 

[NizhoniTwice]

I'm so sorry you had such a horrible experience at your Dr's office. I've had to deal with similar reactions due to declining 1 test and a flu vaccine, but not to the point of being fired as a patient.
Would you be able to show your employer your prescription bottle as proof that you're not 100% right now? Since the dr won't write a letter? It seems like that's just plain spiteful for not being the all-obedient non-questioning patient.