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Let me start by saying that I love the feeling of a clean house, like the chi is flowing through the rooms, everything smells good, and there is a sense of peace. However, I loathe to clean, especially since I have to turn right around and do it again. I chose the wrong profession, right?<br><br>
My house is never clean and yet I am always here. I feel really self conscious about it. I spend nearly every spare moment trying to clean something but it isn't enough to make a dent in what needs to be done. It makes me ashamed to be quite honest, like if I have company people will think I don't do anything but watch tv and eat bon bons all day. It was bad enough with DS but now with DD too at six months I have so little time. I'm lucky if I have five minutes to do something before she starts crying for me. She is extremely dependent and not ready to entertain herself yet. Oh, and did I mention that this baby does not take naps? She takes about five 5-10 minute naps a day making it seem impossible to accomplish anything.<br><br>
Then there is my five year old who will not help out to save his life. It is counterproductive for me to take all the time to get him involved or make cleaning creative enough for him to care. I don't even have time for that! DH works super long hours so that I can afford to stay home so he really helps out when he can but there is only so much he can do. Hiring help would be lovely but not an option for us.<br><br>
I guess I also create more work for myself by doing things green....cloth diapers, clothesline, baking bread, making my own cleaning products, and so forth. That, and we have a really small house so even though we don't really own that much, it always looks like a mess. I figure that our ancestors did it so why should I whine about it? Yet here I am doing just that.<br><br>
I know I'm not ready to compromise my values for convenience but I'm really fed up ladies. I'm just so sad looking at my dirty house that I never have time for. How do you just accept the way it looks and move on? I've tried. I know there are more important things in life to worry about but I feel like the way my house looks is like my SAHM resume or something.<br><br>
I've tried flylady which worked okay before DD came along but I don't even have 15 minutes to do something most of the time without a baby crying in protest. We do slings but come on, we all know there is only so much you can do with a baby strapped to your front or hip when it comes to cleaning. Do I just let her CIO? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I don't know what I'm looking for. Condolences? Advice? Heck, here I'm complaining when working moms are doing so much more than me. I guess it would just be easier to deal with a dirty house if I wasn't sitting in it all the time feeling like I've accomplished nothing. I barely have time to write this post.<br><br>
Thanks for listening.
 

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Condolences....<br><br>
My house is infrequently tidy and 100% clean. Sometimes the kitchen is good, sometimes other rooms but almost never all at once. There are 6 of us so it can get quite bad.<br><br>
If you are at home you collect stuff, you make mess and because you are spending time making it you don't have much time to clear it up. Cooking from scratch is the bigggest mess maker in this house. If I ever buy pizza to put in the oven I am amazed at the lack of tidying to do after.<br><br>
Today I have shined my sink and drainer, taken everything off the kitchen windowsill and returned it to its proper home and hoovered our bedroom floor.<br><br>
I have also fed the baby a lot, made lunch, cooked play dough and washed the bedlinen.<br><br>
That's about all I can manage in terms of cleaning today and it's more than I do some days. Go easy on yourself: there's more time than life; so live life.
 

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I think that our ancestors would have had your 5 year old hold the baby while you clean/cook. At least that is what they did in Little House on the Prairie (the book). <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:<br><br>
I don't think cleaning is part of a SAHMs job necessarily but I do understand the feeling of having a clean house. I also hate to clean, so I am here to sympathize. Do you have any close friends? One idea that I have heard and like is trading cleaning days. On Monday, your friends come over to your house and you all clean/childmind together. On Tuesday, you go over to your friends house. I would do that if my friends were close enough but it is a pretty far drive to do this every week.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pixiewytch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8225904"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Heck, here I'm complaining when working moms are doing so much more than me.</div>
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First off--we need to stop saying this and thinking this as SAHM's. It is insulting to us and to you--and is NOT true!! You are working all day while the working mom is also working all day. You have two different jobs, but you are both working at an important job. While you are at home caring for your child, the working mom does not have her child in a box while she works--she is paying someone (or at least the child in in another person's care/job) to care for her child. She is not doing both at the same time while spinning plates on her nose and polishing the silver and typing up invoices! So she is not "doing so much more" than you--chances are if you traded jobs for a week you would both be in admiration of each other.<br><br>
Phew!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
Anyhow, just do what you can to keep the house reasonably clean during these hard (labor intensive) baby years. Learn how to clean at lightening speed (this is how I do it--cleaning is my cardio and it looks like I am being chased by a wild cat when I pick up the livingroom in fast forward motion) and give yourself a break when perfection is not realized. My house is pretty darn clean at the end of each day, but not so much when my kids were babies. As long as the dishes were done at the end of each day and the kitchen cleaned I was happy back then. Now I have more time to do regular cleaning, and it does feel nice when it is clean. It never stays clean because I have three kids, but even if they mess it up a bit it still feels clean beneath the clutter. And speaking of clutter--make sure you clear out as much as you can--get things organized and don't save a bunch of old papers and junk. Try to have a place for everything. Organization is the key to quick cleaning.<br><br>
Hugs, (and I hope you don't mind that I mentioned about the SAHM/WOHM comparison, but give it some thought! You are doing just as big a job)<br><br>
Lisa
 

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Julie Morgenstern had a series of books. In one of them she talks about babies and depression/energy-limiting disabilities and recommends breaking all major activities down and having a list of 5 minute chores you can do when the baby lets you.
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> You're doing a great job meeting your family's needs. There will come a time when you're able to put more time/energy into the cleaning. For right now, enjoy your baby. Enjoy your young child. Have fun!<br><br>
For me, the best way to enjoy all the messes of childhood, is to simply NOT pressure myself to promptly clean 'em all up. Our children are only young once -- and when they're grown they're more likely to remember the fun of stuff like painting, working with dough, cooking, and making cornmeal mountains on the floor -- than they are to remember how tidy or untidy the house was.<br><br>
Oh, and because I'm relaxed in my standards, it's FUN watching my girls play in the water and mud in our yard. Sure, some mud gets tracked in, sometimes our toddler goes and sits on the couch before I can get her out of her muddy clothes and into the tub -- but what the heck?! What's more important? A clean house or all the LIFE we're experiencing?!
 

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I miss what I used to have time to do with the house, sigh. . . and the thing is being able to clean the way I used to (before the babe) really helped up my mood.<br><br>
Best thing I've found is having dp take dd out on a walk/errand and spending the time going through things and esp. piling a whole bunch of stuff to get rid of. And the having him take it somewhere. Not like this happens very often however . . . but it's most helpful in the grand scheme of things.<br>
All I bother with anymore daily is dishes and that's just cause they easily take over the foot of counter space in our too-tiny kitchen. Anything else is a bonus.<br><br>
(I wish I had a neat-freak husband. I've heard about them & they sound great. Like the one I have okay though . . . <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)
 

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I broke down and hired someone to come and do my floors and bathrooms once a week. It is more expensive than my internet cable, but WAY less than our cell phone bill. I will ditch the cell phones before the lovely woman who cleans my house on Wednesdays.<br><br>
Also, getting rid of excess clutter helps a ton. I try to stay on top of donating out grown clothes, and toys that are no longer loved, etc...<br><br>
I lowered my standards after my second was born. Now that my twins are mess-making toddlers, I'm afraid my house would be unsanitary without some help <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">(I wish I had a neat-freak husband. I've heard about them & they sound great. Like the one I have okay though . . . <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">)</div>
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Yikes! A "neat freak husband" would be like my worst nightmare. One of my friends has one of those, and it's not fun. Sure, so he does things around the house 'cause he can't "stand" the way things get, and I suppose he doesn't just drop his clothes wherever he takes them off like some husbands -- but seriously, it's not a party being married to someone like that.<br><br>
No matter how much my friend, his wife, cleans -- with a neat-freak husband there's always something she misses, ya know? Something he'll pick out right away! I'll take the husband I've got, and thankfully.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pixiewytch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8225904"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Heck, here I'm complaining when working moms are doing so much more than me.</div>
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WOHM here and please don't think that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Trust me, I've seen DS's daycare at the end of the day & my thought is usually "looks like the kids had fun today and thank goodness I don't have to clean it up" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"> If my house is clean in the morning, then it's usually clean when I get home (of course, the flipside of that is also true <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">)<br><br>
Having everyone home all day totally multiplies the housework, ime. (hence, me hiding in the office on MDC right now instead of cleaning the house <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> )<br><br>
Your comment about the chi of a clean house totally struck a chord with me, though. Everything *feels* better to me when stuff is cleaned up. DP always laughs at me because I can't relax in a dirty house, so when the kids are in bed and he wants to chill out, I'm frantically speed-cleaning <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Thankfully, he gets the chi thing, too, though so he helps me.<br><br>
We have a small house (1200sqft) and it's really helped me to have really good storage systems. We're a huge fan of decorative bins for stuff. The office, the kids' room.... every room has baskets or boxes that look good and can serve as "catch-alls" for the little stuff that makes a small house look cluttered. It also helps the kids clean their own room if it's easy to put stuff away : toy cars go in this bin, shoes go in that one, etc.<br><br>
All my closets have shelving and more bins - If you give me an empty closet, I'll surely fill it to the brim with clutter, but put a shelf in there and I'm forced to actually put things away.<br><br>
OK.... DP's vaccuming...... gotta go tackle that 50 lbs of unfolded laundry <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">:
 

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OP, this has been a struggle for me too. I have been breast-feeding and/or pregnant for the whole almost 5 years that I have been married. I do oftentimes feel cluttered by my surroundings. I've figured out that what I need to accomplish everything I desire regarding, well, pretty much anything, are the following:<br>
1) Time<br>
2) Tools<br>
3) Energy<br><br>
The problem with only needing those three things is that I seem to never have more then two at a time, which means that many many things are left undone. One of the ways that because of our financial situation we will be able to make it easier for us is to move to an even smaller space. We have desired for a long time to live more like some nomadic or ascetic cultures do- floor cushions instead of furniture, low tables that are murphy style so we sit on the floor. Honestly, I really dislike spending so much time caring for things I don't even really value. I'd be happier on a clay/mud floor making dinner in my lap...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> Seriously.<br><br>
Sooooo, we're ditching our furniture for the move next month, and we will have tons more space in our much smaller dwelling with that done. We're keeping our beds, though, and just the shelving that will help us to have a clean/clear living space. I mean really, if your living space is not serving you, then why not change it to do so? I know that what we're doing would not suit many others, but for us, this is a liberating event. I can't wait. We also have about 2000 books to sort into 'keepers' and 'donaters'. I am not really looking forward to that. I am looking forward to feeling less encumbered and more mobile, though. I love open spaces and I also love cozy places, as does dh, so we are going to make our new home a combination of spaces that fit those descriptions.<br><br>
Maybe you could determine with your family what your needs are for your living space and just do an enormous overhaul to make your home serve you better. It is hard though, when you realise that the way it serves you may not be what others are comfortable visiting; we've had to decide what is most important to us. It turned out that while we realise that many people will percieve us in ways that may not be flattering to us, we are the people most frequently here and certainly it is us (mostly me) taking care of our space, so we will endeavour to make our guests as comfortable as possible within the space that we have designed to work for us. That's the best we can do. We also have some camping chairs we'll keep just for others if they desire them.<br><br>
Goodness, the longer I'm alive it seems the less fit I am for civilisation... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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I can really relate. I love a clean home and the sense of peace I get from it, but no matter how hard I try I can't get it to the level of clean I want it. Don't get me wrong, it's not all that bad... dishes and laundry are kept up daily and I pick toys up regularly and vacuum about twice a week. BUT, the bathroom is often way overdue for a scrub before I get to it, and I don't dust or mop near as often as I should. The nursery is also a mess and has been for a while cause we don't use it and I need to go through so much baby clothes and stuff piled in there.<br><br>
If I worked outside the home, I think it wouldn't seem so bad to me, but because I'm here all day every day, I feel like it should be cleaner.<br><br>
My big concern though is that right now I just have an 11mo, but I'm having another baby in Aug... what will my home look like then if I can't keep it up now? I have no idea how I'm going to manage my high needs ds and a newborn, and I'm terrified.
 

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I love your ideas, PreggieUBA2C!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jeannie81</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8226984"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My big concern though is that right now I just have an 11mo, but I'm having another baby in Aug... what will my home look like then if I can't keep it up now? I have no idea how I'm going to manage my high needs ds and a newborn, and I'm terrified.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Your home will be full of love and joy, and that's what matters.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pixiewytch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8225904"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't know what I'm looking for. Condolences? Advice? Heck, here I'm complaining when working moms are doing so much more than me. I guess it would just be easier to deal with a dirty house if I wasn't sitting in it all the time feeling like I've accomplished nothing..</div>
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First of all how about a <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"><br><br>
as for working moms-it's a million times easier to keep a house clean when no one is home all day. Okay, that leaves out wohms with nannies but maybe their nannies clean <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> My dh WAH part of the year and it's so much harder to keep up when he's at home. Heck it's hard to keep up when I'm at home all day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
You have a 5 yo and a 6 month old? It's hard. Really hard.<br><br>
The only thing that helped me to go from really messy to (pretty) clean is to declutter, declutter, declutter. People in previous generations had a tiny fraction of the crap, uh <b>stuff</b> that most of us do.<br><br>
Getting rid of stuff and then getting rid of MORE stuff is the only thing that worked for me. I also sort of (I can't believe I'm writing this) learned to like cleaning. Not that I wouldn't rather do other stuff but I don't mind it so much and I really like the results.<br><br>
All that said, I don't think I'll ever be Martha Stewart <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> There's always going to be some clutter/mess. But I've started putting in some extra effort and I find that even a few minutes here and there can really add up.f
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>pixiewytch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8225904"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Let me start by saying that I love the feeling of a clean house, like the chi is flowing through the rooms, everything smells good, and there is a sense of peace. However, I loathe to clean, especially since I have to turn right around and do it again. I chose the wrong profession, right?<br><br>
My house is never clean and yet I am always here. I feel really self conscious about it. I spend nearly every spare moment trying to clean something but it isn't enough to make a dent in what needs to be done. It makes me ashamed to be quite honest, like if I have company people will think I don't do anything but watch tv and eat bon bons all day. It was bad enough with DS but now with DD too at six months I have so little time. I'm lucky if I have five minutes to do something before she starts crying for me. She is extremely dependent and not ready to entertain herself yet. Oh, and did I mention that this baby does not take naps? She takes about five 5-10 minute naps a day making it seem impossible to accomplish anything.<br><br>
Then there is my five year old who will not help out to save his life. It is counterproductive for me to take all the time to get him involved or make cleaning creative enough for him to care. I don't even have time for that! DH works super long hours so that I can afford to stay home so he really helps out when he can but there is only so much he can do. Hiring help would be lovely but not an option for us.<br><br>
I guess I also create more work for myself by doing things green....cloth diapers, clothesline, baking bread, making my own cleaning products, and so forth. That, and we have a really small house so even though we don't really own that much, it always looks like a mess. I figure that our ancestors did it so why should I whine about it? Yet here I am doing just that.<br><br>
I know I'm not ready to compromise my values for convenience but I'm really fed up ladies. I'm just so sad looking at my dirty house that I never have time for. How do you just accept the way it looks and move on? I've tried. I know there are more important things in life to worry about but I feel like the way my house looks is like my SAHM resume or something.<br><br>
I've tried flylady which worked okay before DD came along but I don't even have 15 minutes to do something most of the time without a baby crying in protest. We do slings but come on, we all know there is only so much you can do with a baby strapped to your front or hip when it comes to cleaning. Do I just let her CIO? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
I don't know what I'm looking for. Condolences? Advice? Heck, here I'm complaining when working moms are doing so much more than me. I guess it would just be easier to deal with a dirty house if I wasn't sitting in it all the time feeling like I've accomplished nothing. I barely have time to write this post.<br><br>
Thanks for listening.</div>
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i could have written this. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> some days are worse than others...this one is a particularly bad one.
 

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Going back to read the rest of the thread in a minute, but...<br><br>
I have this great kitchen towel/pot holder set with a picture of a lady scrubbing a bathtub, and it reads "A clean house is the sign of a wasted life." Like <a href="http://cgi.ebay.com/CLEAN-HOUSE-IS-SIGN-OF-WASTED-LIFE-KITCHEN-TOWELS_W0QQitemZ170115661952QQihZ007QQcategoryZ13953QQcmdZViewItem" target="_blank">this</a>.<br><br>
Gotta love it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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""What's more important? A clean house or all the LIFE we're experiencing?!""<br><br>
It is sooo hard to remember that, in the midst of a messy house. 3 of my girls are older, and most of the time help out. But for some reason I expect perfection, and also feel that sense of calm or whatever you want to call it, when the house is clean.<br>
It seems like everything runs so much smoother when the house is neat and I know where things are.<br>
But in reality I too, try and get the basics done.. dishes, laundry, cooking, lunches for school, vaccuming, and then by the time I straighten up, it is time for everything else to be done all over again.<br>
I wish I could be relaxed about it, but for some reason a messy house just makes me frazzled, yet it is usually fairly messy.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mommyto4grits</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/8227758"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I wish I could be relaxed about it, but for some reason a messy house just makes me frazzled, yet it is usually fairly messy.</div>
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Here too. That's why we're getting rid of most of the house <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> !
 

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I empathize fully. My solutions (before I went bonkers and banned people from visiting):<br><br>
- cleaning lady from craigslist we pay cash to, once every 2 weeks for the heavy stuff like vaccuuming, bathrooms, floors, kitchen. It's like heaven and not that heavy on the pocketbook<br><br>
- lots of tricky storage solutions to contain clutter so at least it LOOKS ok - big baskets, tubs, plastic drawers to throw toys and junk in. I keep a clothes basket at the bottom of the stairs to put all the discarded/dirty children's clothes that find their way onto my floors during the day, then take it all up and dump it in the laundry room.<br><br>
- Dh and I spend about 20 min after the kids go to bed in a mad flurry of 'tidying' even if it's not all packed away so WE can enjoy relative neatness while we unwind<br><br>
- only really have friends with kids so they KNOW what I'm talking about and are totally blind to messy floors, etc. etc. ha ha <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">: Everyone else be darned - you're banished to the once-a-year Xmas do where everything's all Martha and sparkly
 
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