[dharmama]

I took my 6 day old DD to the pedi for her one week check up yesterday. The dr. I selected is this cool hippie doc, works out of his old farm house, practices homeopathy/herbal med etc. and the big thing is that he doesn't push vax.

Sounded good in theory....but in reality it was very bad.

He has only one examining room and it literally looks like any old family room with a massage table as an exam table. When I got there he had a patient in with him. We could hear through the door that she was there for a sick visit.

When they were done, he opened the door and said good bye to her and told us to come in. He never left the room and there was no sink in there...no Purelle bottles on the desk. NOTHING.

We sat down and talked for a bit while I held Lily. Then he said ok...let's take a look at her and told me to bring her over to the massage table. There was a receivng blanket on the table (Lord knows how long it's been there) and I reluctantly put her down.

He started examining her and to his credit was incredibly gentle and loving with her BUT (and this a BIG but) while he was examining her he put his UNWASHED finger in her mouth.

I was SCREAMING inside but I couldn't find my voice to say anything. He's been a pedi for 20+ years...I've been a mommy for less than a week...BUT I know that was WRONG!! (I'm

just thinking about it.)

I did not make a follow up apt. - said I had to check my schedule and we left. When we got in the car my mom and I both freaked out. I was

so hard. I felt like such a bad mommy for taking her there and for not saying anything.

Obviously I am not bringing her back there. Sigh...now I have to look for a new pedi.

Part of me would like to write him a letter and tell him why she won't be coming back but I'm not sure it's worth the effort...like I said he's been doing this for 20+ years.

Ugh.

Not sure what the purpose of this post is....I guess I just needed to write it out and process what happened. I'm trying really hard not to beat myself up about making a "bad" decision in choosing this pedi and move on to making a new decision about who will treat her from now on.

Anyway...if you made it this far, thanks for reading.

~Erin

PS ~ On a positive note...we also went to see my chiro yesterday and she was awesome with Lily

and she of course washed her hands before adjusting her. Lily nursed like I've never felt her nurse after the adjustment and she slept soundly in the car for the first time (earlier in the day she had WAILED in the car).

 

[anothermama]

I'm sorry you're so upset, mama........
I *do not* mean to invalidate your feelings with what I'm about to say....

But....try to think of a few things in perspective. One, you've taken her out. She's exposed to stuff. There are worse things in the grocery store or whatnot. Second, most things can't live long outside the human body...even if things may have been "dirty" they may not have been any dirtier than something in your home. And, last, if the other child was sick more than likely it was something airborne you were exposed to the second you walked in the door anyhow.

Was your baby sick? Were you just in for a "well child" exam? I would venture to say that this is why many mamas here DO NOT do well child exams. My son only went into the ped when he was about 3 weeks old because he had thrush and I wanted someone to confirm that since I had never had an experience with it before. Other than that, many mamas don't reallythink it's always a *good* thing to take an otherwise healthy child to a place where there are sick kids. I know that, for me, I think it's been WELLLL over a year since my daughter has been to a doc and I don't intend on taking my son in again for at least a few months. (We're selectively vaxing, but delaying in starting...).

Also, you describe your peds office like my midwives house is. Rather than having my prenatals in a cold room with a lino floor, I went into a bedroom and we all sat around in mismatched arm chairs. Just because a pediatricians office *looks* like it "should" (i.e. lino floors, florecent lights, fancy looking jars on the sink...) doesn't make it any better or worse an environment to examine someone in. I think it's just a midset we are conditioned to believe in....a doctors office must look a certain way in order to be good.

Lastly, you mention this guy has been in practice for 20 years or so? To me, that says that clearly, despite his unorthodox practices, he obviously hasn't killed anyone's kid and probably even has a good reputation.....probably has plenty of patients who recomend him, right? If it were *me*, I think I'd just speak up next time....once you get it out and overwith, it doesn't seem to bad.

But, I also remember feeling exactly how you describe feeling when I had my daughter. I was a new mom, alone, and worried and obsessed about every little thing. Doctors and daycare workers thought I was a b*&ch because I was so stinkin nit picky about EVERYTHING. I think thats normal and natural as you get your mama bearings. I didn't mean anything I said to be harsh......just maybe giving some equal time to the other point of view. The last thing you need or want is to feel like a bad mama (which you are NOT!!!!!!!) and if you really feel the need to change, do it and don't look back. It's very important to be comfortable with how your kids are cared for.

(And........congrats on the babe!!!!!!!! I'm so happy for you! I have been meaning to take my son in for an adjustment and your post really gave me the confidence I've been looking for to seek that out...thanks!)

 

[dharmama]

Thanks mama.

I appreciate your perspective and reassurance. The reason I was drawn to this pedi is because his home office is NOT the sterile, over-sanitized typical doctor's office BUT...I still think basic hygiene would be nice!

I think a trip to the pedi's office would have been stressful no matter who I saw...yesterday was our first time out in the car...my first time ummm....getting dressed in something other than sweats....first time trying to figure out what the heck we need in the diaper bag etc.

I don't intend to do well-baby visits but this was her first post-birth check up and I wanted to have her weighed and examined (to put my fragile first-time mommy heart at ease).

Anyway...I'd definitely recommend getting your little one adjusted. I have a great chiro and she was just wonderful with Lily. It was SO gentle and she is nursing so much more peacefully (instead of her usual popping on and off routine

).

 

[oceanbaby]

This happened to me when I was looking for a ped. We were in a waiting room, I could see and hear him in the other room across from us. I saw him examing the child (the child was sick with something), shake hands with the mom, touch the doorknob, come into our room, and then proceed to put his hands into ds's mouth. I was pretty horrified - ds was about a month old, and who knows what that other kid was sick with.

However, if I had loved that ped, I would still have used him. There were other reasons that I chose not to use him, but the not washing his hands thing still grossed me out.

 

[2+twins]

Umm, yuck! I would have been horrified by that too. A doctor, of all people, should have enough sense to wash his hands between patients. And I totally know how you feel about not being able to say anything in the moment and wishing you had. I've had my own moments like that and I'm still learning (3 1/2 years later and with a second baby) to speak UP for my children! It's hard if you've been raised not to question authority, as I have. It's hard when you've been taught to trust the medical establishment. But we, as parents, are the only voice our babies have so we have to learn to speak up on their behalf. Like I said, I'm still working on it, but the more I keep this in mind the easier it is for me to stand up for them. You're in no way a bad mama - just a new one! Congrats on your baby girl!

 

[kimisaur]

Well, the little be-calm voice in me says that saliva and digestive juices in the mouth usually kill germs, it's the nose and eyes to worry about, and newborns rarely get sick. Plus, those sterile-looking hospitals are usually filthy disease factories.

But....hand-washing is the most important step at controlling spread of disease, and what if one of the children has something truly nasty there??? That is just a very effective way at passing germs around to many other children, and I don't understand it. We have a preemie, who gets sick if someone remotely sick gets within 27 miles of him, so we're super sensitive to this sort of thing, but still....

If you love him otherwise, take your own bottle of hand sanitizer, and ask him to use it when he gets ready to examine her.

-Kimberly

 

[dharmama]

Just a quick update....

We saw a new doctor on Friday. Someone my LLL leader had heard really good things about from another member and he was WONDERFUL. He's a family doctor and his practice is about 5 miles from my house. My DH came with me because I wanted to get his opinion too and when we left we were both like yup - he's our guy!

We told him we plan to delay vaxing for the first year while we do more research and he said that was ok by him. The staff (front desk and nurses) were AMAZING. And of course everyone washed their hands!