[karina5]

and she is not living in a cave. She knows how horrible this is but uses the "it's better to smoke than to put my body in shock by quitting" excuse.<br><br>
I've heard that before. Is it true?<br><br>
Meanwhile, there is nothing I can do about this. It just makes me really sad and a little bit angry, too.

 

[Trillian]

It's not true, just an excuse for someone who doesn't want to (or thinks they can't) quit.<br><br>
Maybe you could encourage her to quit gradually or even just cut back? Every cigarette she doesn't smoke is better for the baby.

 

[ButterflyStarburst]

Yeah, it's not true. At all. I mean, there's the whole hormonal pregnant woman going through withdrawls and making her family miserable issue, of course. But in reality it's a million times better for her, her unborn baby, and anyone around her.<br><br>
I'm actually in this exact predicament myself. Though she's supposed to be a close friend, has 2 toddlers, and it drives me batty that she smokes. I've been honest and forthright about how i feel, and every time she asks if i'll keep an eye on the girls so she can have a smoke i look her straight in the eye and tell her no. She knows how i feel and often says she's trying to cut back.

 

[PrennaMama]

I am a tactless brute <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/Cuss.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="cuss"> when it comes to pregnancy and smoking. Kudos to you for being courteous; I would be so far up her crevice, she'd only be able to dislodge me by flossing...<br><br>
There is no excuse, there is no justification. The 'body-shock' thing is a myth. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shake.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shake"> She is poisoning her baby. uke

 

[LLobsterTV]

i don't think there's a bit of truth to that myth. i smoked up until the moment that pregnancy test showed two lines and quit cold turkey. i did not pick it up again even though the baby's father continued to smoke. (away from me and never inside.) in fact, two weeks before she made her debut he quit because he couldn't fathom the thought of holding his newborn baby while smelling like an ashtray. it can be done, and as someone who's btdt, it infuriates me to no end when women say they just can't quit!<br><br>
i really have no advice regarding your friend. i've known no pregnant female who chooses to believe that myth actually stop their destructive habit in consideration for their child.

 

[MysteryMama]

While I don't think there is any truth to the myth, I know how hard it is to quit smoking. I started smoking when I was 11 years old, and the younger you start the harder it is to quit. By the time I was 13, I would search the streets for discarded cig butts to smoke even though I knew I could be picking up hepatitis or herpes or anything. At the time I got pregnant with my first baby, I was smoking over a pack a day. I was also on all kinds of drugs. I quit all drugs cold turkey with no problem. Smoking, was a whole other thing. It was HARD. I had to cut back, and then cut back some more. By the end of my pregnancy I was still smoking maybe 1 cig every few days. I didn't love my unborn child any less than anyone else. I wanted my baby to be as healthy as anyone would. I quit drinking soda and coffee and started eating veggies (I hate veggies) and I changed my whole entire life. But the smoking thing was very very hard for me. THat is why it's called an addiction. I know for some people it's easy to quit, but many others can testify that it is not. My grandfather was on oxygen with emphasema and still smoked. I have seen people who have had cancer smoke though a hole in their throat. So please mama, try not to be to hard on her or too judgemental. She may very well want to quit or may be trying at least to cut back. It's likely she told you that myth to hide her shame.

 

[maliceinwonderland]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jeannie81</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7908365"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">At the time I got pregnant with my first baby, I was smoking over a pack a day. I was also on all kinds of drugs. I quit all drugs cold turkey with no problem. Smoking, was a whole other thing. It was HARD. I had to cut back, and then cut back some more. By the end of my pregnancy I was still smoking maybe 1 cig every few days. I didn't love my unborn child any less than anyone else. I wanted my baby to be as healthy as anyone would.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Good for you! I think some people have a hard time understanding addictions. I work at a clinic for people with drug addictions, and our clients who are getting off, or have gotten off heroin/morphine have told me numerous times that quitting smoking is harder.

 

[jemama]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maliceinwonderland</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7908525"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Good for you! I think some people have a hard time understanding addictions. I work at a clinic for people with drug addictions, and our clients who are getting off, or have gotten off heroin/morphine have told me numerous times that quitting smoking is harder.</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/truedat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Truedat"><br><br>
nak<br><br>
it was the hardest thing i ever had to do. i still think about smoking daily...

 

[PrennaMama]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jemama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7909463"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/truedat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Truedat"><br><br>
nak<br><br>
it was the hardest thing i ever had to do. i still think about smoking daily...</div>
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Me too, actually.<br><br>
I still would not be as understanding and nice about it as some...

 

[Leylla]

I have recently quit smoking, after many years of trying. (BTW, it was hypnosis that finally did it!)<br><br>
But it is sooooo hard. And when I *think* of a ciagarette, my heart races, my fingers get all tingly, right now in my life it's the biggest turn on to me is a cigarette. I have to be SOOOO careful where I go and who I'm with now.<br><br>
But the "quiting is bad while pg" is a myth. Sorry. And yes, she probably does have some shame. B/c by now, we ALL know smoking is bad. And some guilt, and feelings of inferiority b/c she can't/won't quit. Been there. And the more people bashed me, the more upset I got, which in turn lead into more smoking. (B/c to me smoking was the all powerful emotional healer)<br><br>
And a lot of people DO need help quitting. And so many products are contraindicated during pregnancy, (and I have had DRs tell me that it's better to smoke than to use a patch or the gum, no lie. Whether or not it's the truth, I dunno.) And there just aren't that many 12 step smoking programs out there, and none for me locally.<br><br>
However, if she does want to quit, why don't you offer her as an early baby shower gift a gift certificate to a free session of smoking cessation hypnosis or smoking cessation accupuncture? Both are totally cool while pg, drug free, and very effective for those who truly want to quit.<br><br>
Steph

 

[lilyka]

I actually heard someone say they didn't want to quit because they wanted their babies to be smaller.<br><br>
seriously.<br><br>
Just out of curiosity how many sessions did it take before you could quit.

 

[Strong Mama]

tell her this: this is what i tell my patients all the time:<br><br>
for the lenghth of time it takes to smoke the cigarette and for 20 minutes afterwards the baby only gets 1/2 the oxygen the baby needs and it is like putting your thumb over the end of the water hose and how the water starts to pulse out is how the baby is getting the oxygen at that time.

 

[Leylla]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lilyka</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7910885"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I actually heard someone say they didn't want to quit because they wanted their babies to be smaller.<br><br>
seriously.<br><br>
Just out of curiosity how many sessions did it take before you could quit.</div>
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Lol!!!!! I smoked w/ 1 and 3 (2 was adopted) and 1 was 12lbs 6oz, and 3 was 10lbs 6oz. Granted both times we are talking 3-5 cigarettes a day. Granted I know I was very lucky to not have smaller babies, but it's no guarantee that it will one way or the other...But what a silly reason, I'm liking the "the shock to the baby is too much" better.<br><br>
It took one session and my cigs tasted TERRIBLE. Worse than dollar generic knock off cigarettes. It tasted like dog poo smells. After the second session I was totally cigarette free. I haven't faltered, and it's been 3 months. However the desire for one waxes and wanes. Especially when I am around smokers, in a vehicle that has been smoked in, in our yard, (I always smoked outside) and when I'm upset.<br><br>
But basically I was able to turn my addiction to smoking into a cleaning addiction. Basically whenever I get a craving, I clean something. I have the SHINIEST toaster this side of the Mississippi I bet <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
Steph

 

[mothragirl]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lilyka</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7910885"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I actually heard someone say they didn't want to quit because they wanted their babies to be smaller.<br><br>
seriously.<br>
.</div>
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i have heard that too, more than once.

 

[Finch]

Welp, I sure hope she breastfeeds, because nicotine withdrawal in neonates is REAL, and heartbreaking to watch. If she's gonna smoke, at least push her to breastfeed. Grumble.

 

[not now]

A <b>nurse</b> I work with smokes, drinks caffeine, hardly drinks any water (soda mostly), eats crappy food (Hello, one bag of Doritos every shift), doesn't follow her diabetic diet at all, knows her blood pressure is out of control and she's four months pregnant with her fifth. She states that the other four came out fine so why worry about withdrawals? Drives me nuts. Most of the staff just look at her and shake their heads. People tell her things and she ignores them.<br><br>
It's horrible.

 

[Lady Lilya]

In 1980, my mother was told not to quit when she became pregnant with me because the withdrawal would be worse for me. Now studies have shown that was a myth.<br><br>
If she had known the truth, she would have quit. She quit cold turkey the day I was born. She never smoked while pregnant with my younger sister, and we both were born the same weight, 6 1/2 lbs. When I was 8 and my sister was 4, my mother started up again.<br><br>
She quit several times over the next few years, usually over a year each try. Finally, more than a decade ago, she quit for good. She said that before that, she was able to go to a conference room at work to smoke during the day. Then, they changed the rules and she would have had to go outside. She couldn't take that much time away from her desk, so she had to stop.

 

[Parker'smommy]

I' ve had several people tell me that their DOCTORS told them NOT to quit cold turkey because of the shock to their system would be too much for them and the baby. My mom knew someone who had a big cola addiction( like 8 colas a day) and a cigarette addiciton. The doctor told her to give up just ONE. She picked the colas and continued to smoke throughout her pregnancy. I can't imagine an MD sugar coating something and telling a patient that quitting would be worse than not quitting. But obviously it happens.

 

[guest9921]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Finch</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7913278"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Welp, I sure hope she breastfeeds, because nicotine withdrawal in neonates is REAL, and heartbreaking to watch. If she's gonna smoke, at least push her to breastfeed. Grumble.</div>
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My mother continues to be a very, very heavy smoker. Up to 2 packs a day.<br>
One of my biggest pet peeves about my mother, is that she lies about our childhoods to suit whatever she Now believes to be best.<br>
For example - she smoked while pregnant with all 3 of us, and the duration of how long she breastfed us has continually gone up the longer I've nursed my DS. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
My brother was breastfed until 5wks, he then went into nicotine withdrawl and had seizures, had to be hospitalized.<br>
That year for my mother was 'hell', my brother was in and out of the hospital for asthma - at one point he was helicoptered an hour away, almost dying.<br><br>
Midst this, my mother became pregnant with me, and continued to smoke - as well as with my sister 9 years later.<br><br><br>
I have forgiven my mother for this, but still believe what she did was clearly wrong and selfish.<br><br>
Quitting may be hard, but you just got to do it.

 

[Kundalini-Mama]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>lilyka</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7910885"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I actually heard someone say they didn't want to quit because they wanted their babies to be smaller.<br><br>
seriously.<br></div>
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I have heard this too. And I weighed a whopping 5lbs 7oz full-term <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: