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<p>(friendly moderator, please don't x-post this thread. i posted in "cosleeping" forum, but didn't get too much of a response. thanks!)</p>
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<p>so, i know that a lot of mothers here have older kids too- what are your plans for cosleeping if you already have a full bed?</p>
<p>our girls start out the night in their own bed, but sneak, slowly over to ours- bringing an assortment of stuffed animals and the like. right now, it isn't working for me- i am very worn out by the time that morning comes and worried about what will happen when we try to add a baby to the mess of arms and legs and pillows. i talked to them last week and said "look, we are all tired and grumpy b/c there are too many of us in the bed. the two of you need to try to stay here, with each other and cuddle. if you feel afraid, you can call for us."  (they are in an adjoining room to ours anyway, with just a curtain as a door.)</p>
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<p>so, my older dd has built up a new urgency of "fear" in the night calling out "i am afraid, i am afraid!" over and over until everyone is awake, but....not coming to our bed. my dh then goes to her, but is very grumpy about it. i have been trying to talk to her about what she is afraid of, but i think that she just uses it as a way to get us to come over (i don't blame her...it works!)</p>
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<p>dd2 is still coming over- she sooo stuborn, and hard to reason with in the dark, plus, she is young- i feel like she could use some more time with us- i feel where she is coming from- but she only wants me in the night and i don't want her to feel kicked out by the baby- i want to fix the problem now. i have been rolling over on my other side, instead of cuddling her. it feels a little shameful, but neccesary too- and she isn't complaining at all.</p>
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<p>i think that as the baby gets older, i can handle dd2 (and of course dd1 in the am) in the bed too, but i don't think it will work out very well in the begining, when the baby is so full of need-noises and we are getting a rythum going. i am already worried b/c we only have the curtain as a door.</p>
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<p>so, what are your plans? or what have you done to prepare in the past? any suggestions?</p>
 

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<p>I don't think I have any words of wisdom since this will be #2 for us, but I am curious what others will say. My DS currently sleeps with us in his converted crib pushed up next to our bed. He migrates in the early AM (btw 4-6am) over to snuggle with me till we all wake up. We still love this arrangement at the moment because there is plenty of space (we have a king and then plus DS bed makes an extra wide family bed) but I'm not sure if I'll be able to do it with an infant, or if the new baby will wake up DS, or ??? We are debating between doing nothing, switching DS to my husband's side of the bed or moving his bed slowly away from ours but still in same room (our place is small).</p>
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<p>Anyways, what do others think?</p>
 

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<p>I don't have any brilliant words of wisdom.  My older son sleeps in his own bed, and rarely comes back to the "group bed".  I would say that he finally moved over to his own bed when he was 3-31/2.  My younger son is 3 years 2 months, and we are working on it.  He goes to sleep in his own bed with no problem (the boys share a room), but he has never made it all night without journeying over.  I plan to purchase an Arms Reach co-sleeper from Craigslist this time.  I don't feel comfortable having a newborn in the bed with all the potential visitors.  Sometimes I don't even wake up when one of them comes into the bed.</p>
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<p>With my older son, we talked a lot about staying in bed "until the sun comes up".  Perhaps it isn't the best parenting example, but we used ChuckeCheese as motivation.  I know it is disgusting, but the boys think it is the best place in the world.  His first night in bed until the sun came up and we went to C.C.  Then we we went again after 10 consecutive days in his own bed until the sun came up.  What can I say, with him it worked!</p>
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<p>We put our mattress on the floor, and bough a second mattress to put next to it (not all that expensive at Ikea).  Now we have a bed 2 feet wider than a king-sized.  I think we can fit a few more in it.</p>
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<p>We also put a full-sized mattress on the floor in DS' room.  He hasn't slept on it, but DH sometimes goes in there because he feels claustrophobic in the family bed.  </p>
 

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<p>Well, our bed is full of adults (3 of us, king sized bed). DD has been ensconced in her own bed for a good while now (about 2 yrs, and that followed the better part of a year on the couch because the only way to get her out of our bedroom was to let her sleep in front of the TV). our plan with the new baby coming is to put a twin loft or bunk in DD's room with a full sized mattress under it. I'll sleep with the baby in DD's room as needed (or DH might if DW#2's snoring chases him out, but DD snores too so he may just stick with the couch on that one).</p>
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<p>One option might be to get your olders used to sleeping on kindermats on the floor of your room when they want to come in (we did this when DW#2 moved in when DD was 4).</p>
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<p>I plan on getting an arms reach co sleeper just to keep baby safe. I have a close friend who lost her baby when he was newborn. She fell asleep in bed with the baby in between her and her toddler. The baby was born with breathing problems so it's tough to say exactly what happened but it's just so sad. I was so affected by what she went through that I just can't risk it. Sometimes my three year old climbs in bed when I am sleeping. Sorry to be debbie downer!</p>
 

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<p>Some friends of ours had the same issues and ended up using the good night light <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/redirect.html?ie=UTF8&linkCode=ur2&camp=1789&creative=9325&tag=motheringhud-20&location=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.amazon.com%2FGood-Nite-Lite-900-381%2Fdp%2FB002N4IN0U%2Fref%3Dsr_1_5%3Fie%3DUTF8%26qid%3D1289952498%26sr%3D8-5" rel="norewrite" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.com/Good-Nite-Lite-900-381/dp/B002N4IN0U/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1289952498&sr=8-5</a></p>
<p>its shaped like a cute sun and has a timer.  At bedtime it is blue but gradually it changes to gold which means that the child can leave their room.  Its worked really well for them, and has helped their daughter judge when she can and cannot leave her bed.</p>
 

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<p>Well, this is just #2 for us so I have no advice just a similar question, but DS comes into our bed every night (he goes down in his own bed and in his own room) DS has a full size bed actually and I've been joining him there because DH snores too loud for both of us. We plan on getting an arm's reach cosleeper. DS sleeps between us when he's in our bed but I could still use the extra room for baby. I have been considering getting an extra arm's reach for DS's bed since I can see me in there and sleeping successfully better than in DH & I's room. DH even mentioned me sleeping w/DS more because DH doesn't sleep well when DS is in our bed and I don't sleep well going between the two (plus I've become the world's lightest sleeper since prego)</p>
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<p>I think the arm's reach co sleeper is a good option for more baby safe space in bed.</p>
 

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<p>well I guess I am feeling lucky that after cosleeping with DS my snoring DH sleeps on the couch so I can sleep. I would not be happy anywhere but my bed.</p>
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<p>At the same time though, I'm a little jealous that Ravin gets a DH and a DW to cuddle with and all I get is a pillow...<span><img alt="crap.gif" height="15" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/crap.gif" width="15"></span></p>
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<p>At least when Aubrey is born I will have a new little one to keep me company in bed...<span><img alt="fbbf.gif" height="39" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/fbbf.gif" width="70"></span></p>
 

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<p>a little update- my dh measured the girls "bedroom" and we are going to try to fit two twin sized beds pushed together into the room. it is a funny little space, b/c it is so small, but has two doors- one to our bedroom and the other to the dining room. right now, this is ideal b/c the girls can run in a circle and i have been slow to change to a bigger bed b/c i thought that it would mean blocking the door to the dining room, but if dh is right, we could instead put the bed infront of the door to our room, which only has a curtain hanging- so they could just tumble out of bed into our room- lol. and, instead of having a door blocked, we will just have a "speed bump" which might be good with a newborn around.</p>
<p>i am also excited b/c the beds are so beautiful. we found them on the "big trash throw out day" at a horse farm- they are old wooden farm beds- kind of like sleigh beds.</p>
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<p>i don't know if it will solve our problems, but maybe it will make things easier. i think that the night-light sounds good too- we might try that.</p>
 
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