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i agree about the protein/good fats thing. i often eat and eat but eat the wrong things so i am never satisfied/full. cereal and milk or oatmeal and milk would not set with me for 30 minutes before i was looking for something else to eat. same with fruit.

also the bottle thing might be for comfort but it makes total sense, at this point in time my ds is nursing sooo much, but he needs the good fat so i do not restrict at all. maybe try traditional foods forum?
 

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man, these mamas are awesome!! so wise and willing to share their ideas. i have to agree with most of them.

another thing- my mom is very concerned about weight and appearance (she had an eating disorder as a teen, and i really don't think she is over it, she still loves to not eat). she will make comments about my daughter getting chubby, like she is SO worried and it is the worst thing in the world that could happen. in reality my dd goes through phases, she eats a lot and chunks up, then she will start eating like a bird and/or go through a growth spurt and sprout up. we don't see my mom often so we don't hear the comments anymore but it drove me UP the wall. she was a baby, and we nursed on demand and was never spoon fed. she eats on her own accord!!

i also second kids being VERY different. genetics are huge, body types, metabolism, etc. even my two, my dd was a huuuuuuuge chubby baby, rolls upon rolls and she still is bigger than most girls her age, she is just not petite (neither i am, i am short as well but i have a lot of muscle), where as my ds is not a light weight, he is more average 27lbs @ 15 months) but he is long and lean.

hang in there mama, keep us updated!
 

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maybe i missed this in the earlier posts but what exactly are her stats? weight/age. my dd has always been off the charts or 95th percentile for weight. and she is a shorty. always had the huge pot belly too. at almost 4 it is starting to look a little smaller. (fwiw she is 42lbs at 3.5)

anyway glad do hear WDW was fun
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eta: i am probably going to put my dd in swimming for exercise and fun. she isn't the run around type of kid. she does like to play but she will sit and play quietly or read. kind of a low energy kid iykwim.
 

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yeah, i hope you don't stop updating just because people can't read back in the thread to realize that you are trying.

the only thing i was wondering about, you mentioned the "obese" factor and 95th % etc etc, now we don't see a normal ped, my dd has never been told where she is on the charts, just that she is an amazing healthy kiddo. i am sure she was that weight as a 2 year old, and she is in the smaller range for height. my point is, she is over the 97th right now for weight not sure about height - my guess would be 50% (just googled the chart) and i am not worried about her being obese. she eats good food, real food. she likes to eat, period. given the chance she will tend to hang out where the food is. i guess i just don't get where all the anxiety is coming... and sorry if i am wrong on that but again i am just sensing that from your post.

anyway hang in there
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just out of plain curiosity if you did keep giving her the boiled eggs would she stop at 4, 5 or 12? obviously you don't want her to get sick, but even my dd has over done it on cake and sweets at grandmas and that really gave her a learning experience. before, it was like she didn't have a full meter but then after that incident she realized she couldn't eat half a chocolate cake and be okay. sucks she had to learn that way though...

i would not worry about the chubby at all either... but the distended abdomen and lethargy/uninterested in play are what would concern me too. im sorry i wish i had more to offer... just keep listening to your intuition and being her advocate.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LAWoman View Post

I think this is right on. It sounds like during the week you are home alone with her, but is your husband/partner around on weekends? Could he take over the bulk of her feeding and care on the days he's home so at least so you can get a break?

Also, you did respond to my question abuot depression and I think it's great that you recognize that you are struggling with that. I really strongly encourage you to do everything possible to get yourself well, up to an including medication and counseling if needed. I think the lens that you are viewing your daughter and her issues through is distorted by the depression and your own food issues and it's clouding your ability to see her for who she really is and to see her issues for what they really are. I don't doubt that she has this issue and that anyone would be struggling at this point, I just think that your own issues are making it particularly hard for you to cope with it. You are trying very hard and it is very obvious that you want the situation to improve. I think that is to be commended. But I think you need help to adjust to the huge changes in your life if you are going to adequately help your daughter cope with her struggles. I would also not underestimate a young child's ability to sense your stress and distress around the food issue. If she is already struggling with feeling secure and attached that is only going to make it worse.

And I know you have mentioned some of the help you've sought for your daughter scattered throughout the thread, but it might be helpful to put in one post what types of doctors and therapists you've seen. Then someone might have a suggestion for you. Have you seen a developmental pediatrician for example? Has she been seen by any adoption clinics?

I wish you and your daughter the best.
i too can feel the stress and emotion in your posts. i know i picked up a lot of bad food habits from my mom. seeing her going without eating all day and talking down about everything she cooked were some of the big ones. i really have to force myself out of that mentality since having my own kids- i really don't want them to have issues with food. i wish one or two of us was close enough to you to give you a break
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