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I'm sorry, you sound absolutely overwhelmed.

Would it be possible to spread out her 900 calories through out the day? Instead of 3 square meals a day and a snack, just let her eat the same amount of food all day. It would be extra work for you, but it might nurture her need to continually be eating. Let her have a continuous stream of food. Let her eat Cheerios all the time.

Did you learn anything useful about your dd from the psychologist? Is this typical behavior for these orphans?

Perhaps I'm not getting the full scope of the issue. While her eating habits and behavior don't seem typical, and they do seem extreme, I don't exactly see anything wrong with it, other than it's totally stressing you out. Understandably!
 

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Then maybe some intensive behavior therapy might help. I'm just winging it, and I'm not sure how to do this, but it seems to me you might be able to find a way to reward her for not eating, for learning to wait. Positive rewards for focusing on doing something else.

Forgive me, I don't remember what's developmentally typical fun for toddlers anymore
my kids are older.

You'd need to start out small, like playing with her in a sand box for, like, 2 minutes. Make it clear to her that she can eat those slices of banana after she fills all three buckets of sand with the hand shovel. Then to get the rest of the banana she needs to pour sand over some toys, burying them. Show her how it's neat to watch the sand slowly pouring out of the shovel. Same thing with water instead of sand.

Read to her. One more page, then you get a bite to eat. Two more pages and you get a bite to eat. Three more pages and you get a bite to eat! Etc. Like I said, I'm making this up.

You mention a psychologist. Did the psychologist observe this behavior? A child occupational therapist might be helpful.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by tsfairy View Post
I don't like making food conditional upon doing other tasks first. To me that sets up a pattern that can lead to disordered eating. Of course I've not dealt directly with such issues before so I may be way off base here.
Yeah, I don't think I do either!
Like I said, I was just winging it.
 

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Most overfed Americans eat too much sugar and fat. Most of us eat more protein than we need. We all know this, we're all conscious and careful and worry about feeding our kids the right kind of foods.

Your daughter is exceptional. You should throw out the above considerations for her. Like the others have been saying, she will really benefit from more protein and more fats than she's currently getting. Reduce the amount of fruit for now. Yes, fruit is healthy but it's also sugar that she burns through. Then she crashes and feels desperately hungry again. Give her more meat, cheese, beans, butter and avocado. She'll feel less hungry. She can have unlimited access to veggies, but first be sure she's getting enough fat and protein. I know, it's upside down thinking.

Have you seen those whole-milk, full-fat yogurts for babies? I think YoBaby is one of them. The reason babies (and toddlers) get to have more fat than we do is because their brains need it. Growing brains need healthy fats.

Quote:
if I give her a bottle, she always completely finishes it, to the last drop (and then sucks on the air for a few minutes). So if I refilled it, she would sit and do it again. and again...
Others have mentioned it, but I'll repeat it for emphasis, this is her way of communicating her desperate need for oral comfort. She wasn't nursed, she was in an orphanage, she's got exceptional needs for comfort. That, and some kids simply enjoy it.

In this case it's OK if she eats till she throws up a time or two. It's not a bad thing.

Is there such thing as support groups for parents of international adoption orphans??

And a good therapist with experience with foster children or refugee children.
 
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