[kitty waltz]

I know it is common for autism to run in families. My uncle Paul is deaf and autistic. I never knew this growing up but honestly I was scared of him {because he used physical discipline w/ my cousin of my age}. My dd, 3 1/2 has been diagnosed autistic. My son 17 mos is showing some serious signs of sensory issues if not autism as well. How would I go about getting evaluated? I have a very strong feeling about this as I have always been 'different' whether I choose to advertise or not. And I obsess, over one subject to the exclusion of all else until I know as much as I can. Hans Asperger's called his case sudies his 'little professors' because they knew so much about their chosen subjects. etc. I feel certain that I am autistic/aspergers, for many reasons - including my need for much effort to empathize.

I guess I really want to know for 2 reasons. I had been thru the wringer as a child - they said I was adhd in 1st grade. By 7th they had me on several drugs. By high school they sent me to a school for crazies. They put a lot of labels on me but nothing fit. I knew I was different -and so did my mom she always commented - but not all the crap they said. I want to know what it is about me that puts such a distance between me and others. Its like I dont understand the subtext of conversations or something.

The second reason I think is more selfish. I want to understand why my children are autistic. I want to stop worrying if I eat too much fish or shouldn't have drank the water in our home during the pgs or what. I know I have been very careful and conscientous, esp during pg and infancy, but the worry and potential guilt is still there.

Disclaimer: I hope my words are not miscontrued, I know the causes of autism are myriad and in no way do I intend to encourage others to indulge in this kind of blame seeking guilt crap. I just can't get these type of thoughts out of my mind. I know its probably not going to get me anywhere but I can't help it. Am I the only one?

 

[MsMoMpls]

Oh dear, if you want an evaluation, all you need to do is find a psychologist or neurologist that your insurance covers and go in but to tell you the truth... there is no real "test". From what you are saying, I would likely support your own diagnostic work up. The history that you are giving, the genetics, your own children's issues would all point to you having aspergers. But now what? So?? You now have a label that names your quirkiness but that doesn't change anything. It often does help parents feel less guilt if they feel it is a genetic problem and there really was nothing you could have done. I know that helped with my son's bipolar disorder... I let myself off the hook. But as parents we just need to accept that we have done our bests and need to not blame parents for their children's struggles.

 

[veiledexpressions]

Kitty, I just went through this myself

I , too, just wanted answers. I went through a neurologist. I first needed a referral from my family doctor (for the insurance). Different doctors use different lists of criteria (though, they are all relatively the same). The appointment is fairly long.

I have a family history of Autism/Aspergers/OCD, and other related disorders. It came as no surprise to me when I was diagnosed with OCD. I then realized that something more may be "wrong" with me. I have a hard time reading facial expressions (beyond the obvious), understanding appropriate conversation. What I mean is, sometimes, I would blurt out something completely off the wall, and not realize that it wasn't normal to do just that. I'm also obsessive in my speech. I cannot stand imperfect grammar.

I also have preoccupations, or obsessions. I will focus on one thing, and have an incredibly hard time thinking beyond that. People with Aspergers tend to be "experts" in certain subjects, as they are more likely than most to research something for no reason at all.

I also have the marked inability to make eye contact (my daughter's neurologist actually noticed my behavior at her appointment and suggested I see an adult neurologist).

I hope you find what you are looking for. If you ever need to talk, feel free to PM me.

 

[kitty waltz]

Jen -

Thanks for your supportive response. I have a doctors appt coming up so I was going to try for a referral to a neurologist. I just want to understand myself. I know its not too cool to say this {here} but sometimes I have a hard time functioning. I have a lot of routines and things that must be just so - that I see myself in my dd's obsessions all the time. Sometimes things like that get in the way of things I really need to get done. I also have a lot of anxiety around social situations. I think I may be able to help myself if I can understand myself better. I also worry that I need to be functioning at my best in order to teach my dd how to get along in social situations. This is something I believe Ive been coping with my whole life, and Id like to start addressing it directly now.

So anyways, thanks for writing back!