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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
OK - so I don't know where it is appropriate to discuss this, but why can't breast be sexual objects and food for my baby. What is wrong with them having a dual purpose. I have seen a lot of mileage on MDC given to "Breasts are not intended to to be sexualized" and that "our culture is sick" to think so. I just don't agree that my husband is wrong to find my breasts sexy, to find watching me breastfeed my son sexy, or to find breastmilk sexy. Heck! I think breasts are sexy, and I just happen to be straight. If it weren't for using breasts during foreplay, I may never have had my son.

Anecdotally, when going out for a date once, I left my DS with my MIL and FIL to babysit. She asked when I would be back, and I said the evening might be cut short if my breast became engorged. (DS didn't need me to come home, he had BM isn a sippy cup) She just said flatly "Have your husband help you with that." Very matter of fact. WOW!! What a nice interlude on a date! DH didn't mind one bit. When I got back, after a long night, she said that her husband had always helped her when my DH was a baby. I thought that was really sweet. TMI????? Why? Because Breastfeeding and Sex can not meet?

I just don't get it and I would love to hear others thoughts on it.
 

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I think when most people here at MDC talk about breasts not being sexual they're responding to complete strangers who know nothing about breastfeeding trying to stick their noses into an intimate connection they aren't a part of. People who aren't part of the family shouldn't have those feelings about someone else.

Like, if my BIL views my SIL's nursing as sexy, that's totally cool and they can do what they want about that (after I go home
), but I'd be really weirded out if one of our guy friends had the same feelings.

I think the other problem comes when people let those feelings of sexuality get in the way of the feeding use of the breast. You know those stories about "my dh didn't want to share *his* breasts"?

Anyway, if breastfeeding was only seen as sexual in the context of a loving partner finding everything about the breastfeeding woman to be sensual and sexy and not perverts thinking "oh, it must be incest" "oh, look at those hot cha-chas" there'd be no problems whatsoever.

Your MIL didn't think your breasts were sexy, she didn't think your FIL would think your breasts were sexy, she thought that your dh would think your breasts were sexy just as her own dh had thought her breasts were sexy when she was breastfeeding. Sounds like they have a very healthy marriage and you've made an excellent choice of spouse
(of course, you knew that already)
 

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I think they really must be on some level b/c think about something like peacocks-the boys have those gorgeous plumes and those are to attract the females. Well, translate that to human women and why else would our boobs expand prior to needing them for nursing? If they were *only* for nursing, wouldn't it stand to reason that they wouldn't protrude until they were milk filled and we were already pg or had just delivered? So then, maybe they are there, in busty development, as a way to attract the males of our species to us. That's just a thought I have. I still think it is not cool when random guys get grossed out by us feeding w/them, as I also truly believe that is the *primary* purpose of the female breast. So, yeah, I kinda agree-multifunctional, they are.
 

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Lot's of body parts have more than one function. I eat with my mouth, i also kiss with it. The two functions are usually seperate but don't affect each other in any way (unless I don't swallow what I'm eating before I try to kiss
) My point is that when I'm kissing, my mouth is sexy. My husband finds looking at my full lips to be sexy and so on. This does not mean I can't eat with my mouth or that eating in public is a sexual act. My husband may or may not find it sexy to watch me eat (I've never asked) but if a stranger finds it sexy to watch me eat in a public place he should at least have the decency to keep it to himself because when I eat, it's about nurishing my body not about the sexual gratification of someone watching and there is no one who would question that.

To me breastfeeding is/should be like that. Breasts, like lips can be sexy and sexual in a healthy way but they also have other functions that not sexual. I want to live in a culture that knows the diferance and sees mt baby eating as no more sexual than myself eating.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhiannon Feimorgan
Lot's of body parts have more than one function. I eat with my mouth, i also kiss with it. The two functions are usually seperate but don't affect each other in any way (unless I don't swallow what I'm eating before I try to kiss
) My point is that when I'm kissing, my mouth is sexy. My husband finds looking at my full lips to be sexy and so on. This does not mean I can't eat with my mouth or that eating in public is a sexual act. My husband may or may not find it sexy to watch me eat (I've never asked) but if a stranger finds it sexy to watch me eat in a public place he should at least have the decency to keep it to himself because when I eat, it's about nurishing my body not about the sexual gratification of someone watching and there is no one who would question that.

To me breastfeeding is/should be like that. Breasts, like lips can be sexy and sexual in a healthy way but they also have other functions that not sexual. I want to live in a culture that knows the diferance and sees mt baby eating as no more sexual than myself eating.
I really like the way you put that Rhiannon!
 

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I always figure that breasts have a sexual purpose for most/all people before they have a baby-feeding purpose. For those people who never have kids, their breasts may only serve a sexual purpose. I don't think they were made solely for feeding children, as I have no children by I certainly get a lot of pleasureable use out of my breasts.
 

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How about the vagina? There is no doubt that it's intended for dual purposes, so why couldn't breasts be?

Do the men who don't let their wives breastfeed because they don't want to share, have similar feelings about birth? People are really sick and I feel so lucky to have a husband who thinks I'm sexy, even after catching our babies and watching me nurse a 3 year old.
 

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I think many parts of our bodies have different uses at different times.

I think it is wrong to imply that nursing my child is sexual though. At that time they are not sexual AT ALL!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by mamao'two
I think many parts of our bodies have different uses at different times.

I think it is wrong to imply that nursing my child is sexual though. At that time they are not sexual AT ALL!
This is what I've read, in many different books. Breastfeeding releases the same "love" hormones that are associated with female orgasims. Every woman responds differently when their child nurses. It can be relaxing, it can be just special bonding or even arousal. That doesn't mean your turned on by nursing. It's just hormones. I personally fall half asleep every time I nurse!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan
"oh, look at those hot cha-chas"
I had a total Bevis and Buthead moment when I read this! LOL
I thought "OMG she said cha-chas!"
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Rhiannon Feimorgan
Lot's of body parts have more than one function. I eat with my mouth, i also kiss with it. The two functions are usually seperate but don't affect each other in any way (unless I don't swallow what I'm eating before I try to kiss
) My point is that when I'm kissing, my mouth is sexy. My husband finds looking at my full lips to be sexy and so on. This does not mean I can't eat with my mouth or that eating in public is a sexual act. My husband may or may not find it sexy to watch me eat (I've never asked) but if a stranger finds it sexy to watch me eat in a public place he should at least have the decency to keep it to himself because when I eat, it's about nurishing my body not about the sexual gratification of someone watching and there is no one who would question that.

To me breastfeeding is/should be like that. Breasts, like lips can be sexy and sexual in a healthy way but they also have other functions that not sexual. I want to live in a culture that knows the diferance and sees mt baby eating as no more sexual than myself eating.
This would make a really nice letter to send to the folks at BabyTalk who've been dealing with some complaints about the "indecency" of their recent cover.
 

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I agree with the viwpoint that several bady parts may have more than one use. Breasts are both sex object and source of sustenance to the baby. The two functions even sometimes tend to mingle as moms quite often achieve orgasm whilebf'ing - a natural reflex action defying mind. Sometimes I wonder whether this is too common aphenomenon (mamas may corroborate).It would be wise to accept thigs as they are. Why even bother about 'primary' and 'secondary' labelling of functions of body parts.
Uzra
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by edswife
I had a total Bevis and Buthead moment when I read this! LOL
I thought "OMG she said cha-chas!"
Heh, heh. Thingies.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
We call them Wham danglers......

Um STOP!!! That isn't mature. Shame, for shame people!!


My best friends mom came to visit me right after DS was born. She breast fed her kids. She told me, unabashidly, in front of her adult daughter, that she often had orgasms when breastfeeding her kids, and that it had made her husband jealous. Her kids ended up just fine, not emotionally scarred. They laugh about it now.

It is this kind of frankness that I really value. I hope I can be this frank to other women throughout my life.

I never had that experience while BF my son. I just feel blissfull. Yeah, hormones.
 

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My dh thinks everything about pregnancy, breasts, breastfeeding, etc. is sexy. The shape of a pregnant woman, the baby feeding, strong motherly women, etc.

I find that much more healthy than the men who say they're no longer attracted to their spouse through the whole fertile process. I think the concept that breasts are "only" sexual is the one that I find bothersome.
 

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Rhiannon, you're a genius, and I too think that post should be letterized, notarized, and sent to every media outlet in the Western world.

Just because it's one thing doesn't mean it's not the other. Seemingly opposite and unrelated things can *even* co-exist together on the same plane. It's freakin' amazing, Popular Culture.

And I for one think it's f'ing SWEET that your husband assisted in the emptying of your engorged chi chi's. Once when my little one was fast asleep (thankfully so) and my left breast was granite, I woke my husband up and asked him to help me out. He visibly, in the dark, balked and acted like I was asking him to drink urine or something. I felt totally shamed and humiliated for even asking.

So go your husband, you, and your mother (or mother in law). That's love. I envy.
 

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What a great thread! I've been kind of annoyed by those who have talked about "breasts being used for their intended purpose." YES breasts are the source of the best nourishment possible for our babes. But they DO have another purpose. I'm sure references can be found throughout the history of many cultures and societies. It's not just that Hollywood has corrupted our views. Good grief. Part of the fun in foreplay and sex is my dh stimulating my breasts.

I absolutely agree that breastfeeding should not be sexualized and that people should be mature enough to know that breastfeeding is for nourishing babies...but they should also be mature enough to recognize that breasts can and do have a dual purpose.

I once heard a speaker on chastity talk about belly-revealing shirts. He was asking young ladies to please think about their clothing choices because of the thoughts guys can have about seeing certain body parts revealed. The reason was not that it was simply revealing flesh...but that there is some deep rooted innate thing in guys about the womb being there, the woman's fertility. Not some modern over-sexualized thing. I had never heard of it talked about that way.

Now, please, I'm not trying to start a debate about chastity, religion, morality, so PLEASE DON'T START IF YOU'RE TEMPTED!! My point was just going with the pp discussions about the "dual uses" of body parts. This guy's view was that it was the innate, subconscious associations about fertility that make the midriff so appealing to guys.

Anyway. Yeah, I agree that breasts can be viewed in both the nourishing and sexual ways. Like some of the other posters here, my dh is a dear who thinks everything about pregnancy is sexy, who thinks my milk-filled boobs are sexy. One of the memories that he would love to have reenacted (so to speak) was our 1st Wedding Anniversary. Our son was 9 months old, and we did leave him with my parents for the evening so we could have a date (breastmilk in bottle, and he was eating some solids at that time). It was not going to be overnight, but for a few hours. We had some dinner, then drove to the ocean...in December. My boobs got so engorged in that time. When we had a chance for a little "us" time in the car
my dh LOVED how the things looked, lol. My fertility and lactation are very sexy to him. Makes it a lot of fun!

JET
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by zksgreen
We call them Wham danglers......

 
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