[maydaymom10]

I thought I'd DDCC and post in April b/c I think you all can help me out. I had ds on May 6. Yes, I realize that he's only 11 days old, but DH and I are already confused and frustrated. We had a perfect vision of what life w/ds would be like: sleeping in the pack n play by our bed so I could easliy get up to bf during the night. Sitting peacefully in our arms or his bouncer as we prepared dinner or got housework done. You get the idea.<br><br>
Well, things have been tough these past few week. DS didn't want to nurse at first, so I spent most of his first days with a LC & working with the schedule that she gave us (pump, feed, ds practice time). Now he's nursing like a champ, but we have other issues. DS does not like to be put down on his back and basically is rejecting the PnP. I've slept every night since his birth with him on my chest. DH & I can handle ds in bed for a while, but ultimately do not want to do the family bed routine. We really need for ds to have his own sleeping space. I've thought about getting an Arm's Reach, but don't know if this will make a difference. He is sleeping well at night - 10 pm to 8 or 9 am w/wakings every 1.5-2 hrs for feedings. Just not in his "bed".<br><br>
During the day ds just wants to be held. I might get an hour here and there where he sleeps in a bouncer, but that's it. He's very fussy and seems to be bf'ing constantly. I'm by myself, so this routine is wearing me out. I'm concerned that he's not getting enough sleeping during the day. Even when I nap with him, I'm lucky to get him down for 2 hours. He maybe sleeps 4 hours during the day.<br><br>
What I'm wondering is if this is just the norm for some babies. Although I have several nieces and nephews, this is my first time with my own kid. DH and I are both getting very frustrated. We keep telling ourselves that he's just so young and things will get better, but it's hard to keep that attitude. DH is pulling away and not bonding with ds -- similar to the OP's DH in another post in this forum. I am very emotional, and trying to watch myself for signs of PPD. I love the little guy, but I need a break. I'm sure that I'm overreacting (I often do), but any feedback is welcome. I know that you all have LO's ranging from 6 wks to 2 wks like me. I just thought that someone might be able to give me some insight after just having "been there".

 

[rhiOrion]

I'm with ya. First time mom here, too. DD is 5.5 weeks old now, and it is getting better.<br><br>
She's slept every night since birth on my chest. But it's getting to where I can put her down in the crib some early in the morning. I'm trying it during naps and such, because once she's asleep at night I don't want to do anything to wake her up!<br><br>
We had some VERY rough nights at the start. She still screams most of the time until 1 am, but she does tend to sleep well after that now. But it took a while.<br><br>
I think we both also had the same visions of newborns as you and your DH, and it is difficult when you find yourself with a needy baby!<br><br>
I'm just now starting to see the light. Just in the past day or two she's started having more quiet alert time where she is awake and NOT crying.<br><br>
She's also started to calm down in the swing, which is new. It used to be she had to already be asleep. Now sometimes if she's fussing and nothing else works the swing calms her!<br><br>
Basically, it'll change. I'm sure. You'll find a routine.<br><br>
Now, will someone remind me of the same things that I just said? Because it's still hard...just different hard!

 

[jsh7809]

I had a similar vision, and the first few weeks felt more like we were doing battle than enjoying a babymoon <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br>
However, we found the Happiest Baby On the Block (there's a book but the DVD - available through netflix - was easier to figure out with a wailing baby) very helpful, particularly swaddling. And wearing the baby, though exhausting, at least means she gets more sleep and calms down a bit.<br>
Good luck! I agree, it does get better (and I have had to remind myself of that a million times per day)

 

[laughingfox]

IMO, that sounds pretty normal for the first few weeks, at least.<br><br>
My new little one (2 weeks and 5 days) always wants to nurse, even when it's obvious that she's not hungry, and she won't take a paci, so I wear her in the sling and nurse while I do stuff around the house. Learning how to nurse hands-free in a sling has been a lifesaver for me. I use a ring sling, but that style doesn't work for everyone- you might have to try a few kinds before you find one that works for you.<br><br>
Oh, and the PnP vs cosleeper thing- there's not much of a difference. The side of the co-sleeper lowers, but not all the way, and there's a drop down to the baby's sleeping surface. It's not designed to be contiguous with your bed, so you'd still be laying the baby down on a separate contained surface, you can't just scoot him over.

 

[jolesh]

this is so familiar...<br><br>
DS really wants to be held ALL the time. he wants to sleep on me (preferably, but will settle for dada or oma) and he grumbles a lot when put down, eventually crying. he seems to want to nurse hourly, though today he is more like every 2 hrs. he definitely sleeps best in our bed, on one of us, or at least in the crook of an arm. occasionally i can fake him out and get him to sleep in the cosleeper for an hour or so, but not often. and he grunts most of the time he is in it. he is more a grunter than a crier.<br><br>
DD was not so needing to be held or to sleep on people, though i do recall a patch of her early months where she wanted to nurse every 45 min during the night. ouch.<br><br>
i am a big fan of the family bed so it is not so much an issue with me, though it would be nice to have some longer stretches with sleep..<br><br>
but the great thing about babies is that things are always changing so even though DS needs to be held constantly right now, next week it might be different. or it might not.<br><br>
anyway that is just my 2 cents. hope everyone gets some sleep soon! (DS slept for 5 hours in a stretch in his second week but we haven't seen that in a couple weeks. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
oh and i had happiest baby on the block recommended to me by the community health nurse - hear it is really helpful! waiting to get it from the library...

 

[jsh7809]

Another piece of advice while I have a second - ask for help! Keep asking till you get some relief and as much help as you need. I have been leaning on my MIL and mom a ton, but if that's not an option, maybe look into a friend coming a few hours a week or a mother's helper or something?<br>
Also, I know that the adjustment to a newborn is always hard, some harder than others, but I really feel like this lactation consultant I have been seeing has made a huge, huge difference. She runs a clinic/ support group for breastfeeding mothers in the area and I look forward to it all week, for the community and the commiseration and the wonderful advice. It is hard to get out and go to it, and last week I cried through most of it, but it has helped me more than anything else. I have a big oversupply andmost people seemed to just think it was funny, but this LC has helped me slow it down so that baby girl can actually get what she needs and not just get overwhelmed, and that has helped us both immeasurably.<br>
So if you think anything is wrong, even if it's just that it's way more exhausting than you think it should be, keep asking anyone you can think of till you get some support and help!

 

[jolesh]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jsh7809</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15417070"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I have a big oversupply andmost people seemed to just think it was funny, but this LC has helped me slow it down so that baby girl can actually get what she needs and not just get overwhelmed, and that has helped us both immeasurably.<br>
So if you think anything is wrong, even if it's just that it's way more exhausting than you think it should be, keep asking anyone you can think of till you get some support and help!</div>
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i have the same issue - what did the LC have you do to control the flow??<br><br>
also i meant to say before, the community health nurse who came by our house (and has come by weekly since DS was born 4 weeks ago) has been an ENORMOUS help with suggestions and stuff, as well as just listening to me vent and worry etc.. sometimes it is really nice to just have someone to talk to for an hour!

 

[jenfl]

A perspective from a bit further down the line.... I had this experience with my first. Lovely ideas of the baby period flew out the window when DD came. She screamed a lot, slept little, and was generally so very unhappy.<br><br>
After many doctors told us it was just colic and would clear up at 6 weeks (then 12 weeks, then 6 months....), we finally realized that she had reflux (she never spit up, but she screamed anytime you laid her on her back) and, even further along, we found out the reflux was caused by a dairy intolerance. We got her on reflux medicine, which helped. Then we got me off dairy, which helped more. So if you think something seems seriously out of whack, investigate medical reasons.<br><br>
But the best solution was just for her to grow. She was one of those kids who hated being a baby, even after we got her reflux under control. But when she could communicate, she improved so much. She was terrible at being a baby, but fabulous at being a toddler (and, now, a preschooler!).<br><br>
Now, DS is not quite as tough as DD was, but he's still not easy by any stretch. I'm just trying to tell myself that I'm paying the price now for easier times later. There's no guarentee, of course, that toddlerhood will be easier. But it seems like that's often the case for difficult babies.

 

[maydaymom10]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">After many doctors told us it was just colic and would clear up at 6 weeks (then 12 weeks, then 6 months....), we finally realized that she had reflux (she never spit up, but she screamed anytime you laid her on her back) and, even further along, we found out the reflux was caused by a dairy intolerance. We got her on reflux medicine, which helped. Then we got me off dairy, which helped more. So if you think something seems seriously out of whack, investigate medical reasons.</td>
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This is something that we've talked about with his pediatrician. My mw actually brought it up. DS was choking & spitting up a lot of mucous and food during his first week home. It was more than normal in their opinion. The ped gave me a prescription for Zantac, but then ds & I felt a little weird medicating a 5-day old. So we started looking at other options - use a crib wedge to prop up the mattress of the PnP, make sure we burp him well before laying on back, etc. He's been better this week - no spit up or choking, but maybe the reflux still has something to do with it. We have an appt on Thurs, so maybe I'll bring it up.<br><br>
For everyone else, thank you for your reassurance & suggestions. We have seen happiest baby and currently have ds swaddled and surrounded in white noise. We'll see if it helps tonight. I also am supposed to get a new sling tomorrow, so maybe that will help as well.

 

[nikirj]

I can't think of a way to say this gently...<br><br>
Release those expectations. They were unrealistic to begin with and are just holding you back from enjoying your reality now.<br><br>
I expect my babies to cry their little heads off, eat all the time, and never want to be put down. When they do otherwise I'm happily surprised. I expect my babies to consume my energy and attention entirely for the first month of their lives. When I have time or energy for anything else, I'm happily surprised.<br><br>
Everyone told you that life would be different after you had a baby. THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT. Some of us have to go through a really heavy trial-by-fire initiation into parenthood. Others have a really smooth transition. Most of us are somewhere in between. But no matter how you go through it, it IS an initiation and it IS difficult.<br><br>
I can't say this enough - release your expectations. Find what works for you and your family and go with it, knowing that you can always change it up later. You and your baby are still figuring each other out, give yourselves time to do that before you worry about things like "habits" (like there can be any such thing when they're developing so fast!).

 

[laughingfox]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maydaymom10</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15417459"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">DS was choking & spitting up a lot of mucous and food during his first week home. It was more than normal in their opinion.</div>
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My DD1 spit up in the beginning. Everyone told me it was normal, and when I said I thought something was wrong, people just said that was because I was a first time mom and didn't know better.<br>
Turns out she had allergies. I cut out dairy and eggs when she was a couple months old and she never threw up again (until that time when she was 2 and ate like 13 cookies at grandma's house).<br><br>
Anytime there's spitting up or choking, I think it's worth looking into. Sure, it might be normal sometimes, but it might also be fixable.<br><br>
Also, Niki's got some great advice there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">

 

[ivymae]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nikirj</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15417486"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I can't think of a way to say this gently...<br><br>
Release those expectations. They were unrealistic to begin with and are just holding you back from enjoying your reality now.<br><br>
I expect my babies to cry their little heads off, eat all the time, and never want to be put down. When they do otherwise I'm happily surprised. I expect my babies to consume my energy and attention entirely for the first month of their lives. When I have time or energy for anything else, I'm happily surprised.<br><br>
Everyone told you that life would be different after you had a baby. THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT. Some of us have to go through a really heavy trial-by-fire initiation into parenthood. Others have a really smooth transition. Most of us are somewhere in between. But no matter how you go through it, it IS an initiation and it IS difficult.<br><br>
I can't say this enough - release your expectations. Find what works for you and your family and go with it, knowing that you can always change it up later. You and your baby are still figuring each other out, give yourselves time to do that before you worry about things like "habits" (like there can be any such thing when they're developing so fast!).</div>
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Such good advice, for parenting and for life, <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">. But really, every stage of baby's life will come with these growing pains, both for them and for you. once you have the "being a parent of a newborn" thing down, they change, and you have to start all over with infant, and then toddler, and preschooler... Holding on to expectations, rather than embracing the now, doesn't do anything but set you up for feeling disappointed.<br><br>
That said, there are things you can do to improve the now, and some of the other mamas have given you great advice. I'll add doing breathing exercises, visualizations (visualize the negative, frustrated, lost emotions draining out of your toes, and a calm, wise light flowing into your head and filling up your body), listen to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2NTO_Xnrno&feature=player_embedded#" target="_blank">positive affirmations</a>, etc. They won't change what is going on around you, but they can help you learn how to react to choas - because life with kids comes with a bit of chaos, which is a great lesson in letting go.

 

[Pepper44]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nikirj</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15417486"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I can't think of a way to say this gently...<br><br>
Release those expectations. They were unrealistic to begin with and are just holding you back from enjoying your reality now.<br><br>
I expect my babies to cry their little heads off, eat all the time, and never want to be put down. When they do otherwise I'm happily surprised. I expect my babies to consume my energy and attention entirely for the first month of their lives. When I have time or energy for anything else, I'm happily surprised.<br><br>
Everyone told you that life would be different after you had a baby. THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT. Some of us have to go through a really heavy trial-by-fire initiation into parenthood. Others have a really smooth transition. Most of us are somewhere in between. But no matter how you go through it, it IS an initiation and it IS difficult.<br><br>
I can't say this enough - release your expectations. Find what works for you and your family and go with it, knowing that you can always change it up later. You and your baby are still figuring each other out, give yourselves time to do that before you worry about things like "habits" (like there can be any such thing when they're developing so fast!).</div>
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That's what I was going to say, only better worded!<br><br>
When my first DD was born I felt the same way as many of the posters in this thread. It was overwhelming, way more than I expected.<br><br>
This time I was ready for little sleep and prepared to have a tiny person glued to me at all times. It's made a huge difference--I don't worry about anything except cuddling the baby and making sure I bathe and eat. I even got a waterproof sling for the shower, which DD2 really enjoys.<br><br>
It's tiring, but it will be over so fast...you'll look back and be shocked at how time flew by.

 

[jsh7809]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jolesh</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15417124"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">i have the same issue - what did the LC have you do to control the flow??<br></div>
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Besides block feeding (changing boobs only every 3-4 hours, not offering both at each feeding because they were just constantly refilling with tons of milk), I just started on a sage tincture and saw a difference that very night. I still wake up fairly engorged when she sleeps for 3-4 hours but now we are nursing really successfully only every 2-3 hours, instead of very frustratedly every half hour or hour like before. It could also be that my milk and her digestion are evening out naturally (she's now 4 weeks old) but I swear the sage had a big hand in that.<br>
I feel confident that she's now getting hindmilk with every feed - whereas before it was almost all foremilk and making her really gassy. The letdown is still strong but nothing like it was before, neither of us could handle it!<br><br>
My point is, I felt that something wasn't right, things seemed beyond the exhaustion/ demanding/ frustrating aspects that I imagined having a newborn would entail anyway. And everyone was very reassuring and kept saying it will get easier and that this is just what having a baby is like. But we were also lucky to find an amazing LC who had great advice for me right away, and I saw a big, big difference in my child and our nursing relationship very quickly.<br>
And I totally understand what Niki is saying, but I also felt like the baby that I had the first week after her birth was not the baby that I had weeks 2-4. She seemed uncomfortable, totally frustrated, and unhappy and I felt so helpless not knowing what to do.<br>
I think that so much of mothering is instinctive, but there are also situations where we need outside advice from experienced professionals, friends, etc. I had to keep searching and asking for help until I found something that helped, because while I knew my baby was growing and healthy, something about our nursing relationship seemed unsustainable and so so frustrating. When I found someone who understood that oversupply can be more than just kind of funny and messy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> I was overjoyed!<br>
I would keep asking for help and sorting through the advice you get from your pediatrician, nurses, friends, this forum, etc,. to try new things and see what makes sense for you and your baby. It was driving me kind of crazy thinking about all of the possibilities but now that we have some help it is making everything easier.<br><br>
Sorry to thread hijack. But I'm wondering, does anyone let their LO sleep propped up against the boppy? I know you're not supposed to, and I've only done it during the day when I'm right next to her (and she's on her back on it) but it seems to help. What is the difference with this and a crib wedge?

 

[ivymae]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jsh7809</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15418097"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;"><br>
Sorry to thread hijack. But I'm wondering, does anyone let their LO sleep propped up against the boppy? I know you're not supposed to, and I've only done it during the day when I'm right next to her (and she's on her back on it) but it seems to help. What is the difference with this and a crib wedge?</div>
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I do, but *like when I let her sleep on her belly) I am distracted the entire time and keep thinking "she's being so quiet, is she breathing?!" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> The risk is that they will slide down and their head/body angle will make it hard for them to breath, so just be aware of her position. Will she sleep in a bouncy chair/swing? Their recline is better suited for babies, and they have the harness strap to keep them from sliding down. The Cuddle-U pillow has a seat harness thing, so maybe that would give you a bit more peace of mind.

 

[4lilfarmers]

my ds1 was the same way as your babe. IT WILL GET BETTER! he's still so little! just accept that this is how it will be for a while. i found that around 3 months so much changes. in my experience, they nurse less, poop less, are more content when they are awake AND my ds1 (who had slept on my chest or arm until then) would sleep for 5 hour chunks in his cradle!<br>
oh and i let him sleep on his tummy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag"> b/c it was the only way he'd sleep NOT on me.<br><br>
like a pp said...don't worry about habits forming now. i've found that everything i've tried to change (weaning at night, sleeping in their own bed, etc) was MUCH easier than i thought it would be. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
do you have anyone who can come and help. it was so nice for me to have someone come and hold him for a while during the day... i'd do some "normal" things even if it was just folding the laundry, showering, a walk by myself.<br><br>
also, like pp mentioned-- if you have lots of milk, try block feeding so he gets more hindmilk... it may help with the needing to nurse all the time! i wish i would have known this ds1 b/c i had a lot of milk and it really made a difference with ds2. he was satisfied longer.<br><br>
big <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s<br><br>
IT WILL GET BETTER! (i needed to hear this over and over) <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[DoulaAlicia]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>nikirj</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15417486"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I can't think of a way to say this gently...<br><br>
Release those expectations. They were unrealistic to begin with and are just holding you back from enjoying your reality now.<br><br>
I expect my babies to cry their little heads off, eat all the time, and never want to be put down. When they do otherwise I'm happily surprised. I expect my babies to consume my energy and attention entirely for the first month of their lives. When I have time or energy for anything else, I'm happily surprised.<br><br>
Everyone told you that life would be different after you had a baby. THIS IS WHAT THEY MEANT. Some of us have to go through a really heavy trial-by-fire initiation into parenthood. Others have a really smooth transition. Most of us are somewhere in between. But no matter how you go through it, it IS an initiation and it IS difficult.<br><br>
I can't say this enough - release your expectations. Find what works for you and your family and go with it, knowing that you can always change it up later. You and your baby are still figuring each other out, give yourselves time to do that before you worry about things like "habits" (like there can be any such thing when they're developing so fast!).</div>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/truedat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Truedat"><br><br>
The first three months of a baby's life outside the womb are often called the "fourth trimester" of pregnancy. It is such a beautiful time when your baby makes the biggest transition of their life (other than their death in the end of life). They come out of a warm tiny environment where they receive nutrients from a cord and through their placenta. And now they must eat from a breast and make their little intestines work! So fussiness and eating troubles NORMAL! And they must get used to be a separate entity from Mamma. So wanting to be held next to a warm body and sleep with one too is SO NORMAL! Monkeys carry around their babies for years. Your baby is perfect and wonderful and will ask you for only the things that he NEEDS physically and emotionally at this time in his life. Don't drive yourself nuts. Ask for help when you need to or put the baby down if you are at your end. But changing your expectations and appreciating your baby's behavior as something good and normal will do wonders. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">

 

[nikirj]

Jess - I totally didn't mean to make your struggles seem small. I totally walked that with my first baby. We block feed in 6-8 hour stretches and my poor baby spends more time sputtering and half-choking than eating at the breast. It's sad, because I'd like to cuddle up and have that happy nursing session, but it just doesn't happen for me until they're a few months old and learn to cope with the garden-hose flow.<br><br>
I was more saying that as we work things through, we should be open to "the way things are" more than "the way things are supposed to be." Not that we should ignore actual issues, just that sometimes our mental picture and reality don't match up, and dwelling on it isn't going to help anything. I know I was expecting certain things from this baby that didn't happen, and I've had to let those go. It happens every time.<br><br>
So I don't mean that we shouldn't try to improve things. I do mean that "what works for our family"* is actually a very important thing at this point. Find those things that work and stick with them. Parenting an infant isn't about gaining the signature smilies or looking at your life with a sense of smug superiority, it's about finding your way and surviving. WOW can that ever be a new and different thing for families that have been really dedicated to doing all the right things for themselves and for their babies; realizing that maybe the "right" thing for their situation isn't what they thought it would be, and adapting to that fact.<br><br>
*Of course I don't mean "what works for our family" to trigger a free-for-all descent into harmful parenting practices.<br><br>
re: sleep propping...I wouldn't use a boppy for propping because the curve of the pillow makes it too easy for baby to nestle into a too-tucked position. I either sleep with her head and shoulder tucked up onto my shoulder so that she's angled slightly upright, or I prop her daytime sleeping pad up at the head by putting an additional pillow under the whole thing. And I know you're not "supposed to," but I often put babies to sleep on their sides.<br><br>
And (last paragraph promise!) I like the "fourth trimester" concept a lot. Human babies are born really underdeveloped thanks to a need to get big heads through little pelvises (relative to other mammal species), and thinking of them as needing more time in the womb than they actually got does help frame some of their early behavior.

 

[jsh7809]

Niki, no worries, I didn't take offense or anything <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s I just wanted to make sure the OP had a very very new mom's reflection on the past month and that there is some way of getting some relief in many cases... even if it is patience and growing (the patience part, I'm not so great at!).<br>
Not everyone's struggles can be solved as easily as ours were - not that there was a "solution" per se but there has been some extraordinary relief - but I did want her to know that there is hope... I was feeling so discouraged by hearing that I just had to wait, when the nursing just felt awful to me. I was starting to pine for formula, which I would never do, but I kept thinking, "if she could just get comfortably full, she would feel better!".<br>
Thanks for the feedback on the Boppy, I only have let her sleep in it so far with me right next to her awake. Great idea trying her strapped into the swing or chair - she was rejecting those when the gas was greatest but now she seems happy in them again <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br>
It will get better, it will get easier! I put a post it with these words on it that I look at a bunch of times a day, to keep reminding myself.

 

[snoopy5386]

It is SO NORMAL Mama, so normal, all of it. Not sleeping by himself, wanting to be held all the time, wanting to nurse all the time, completely normal. Just think 11 days ago he was inside your belly being held 24/7 and now he has to cope with so many things.<br><br>
Like you I had these perfect idealized visions of what life would be like when DD1 was born. Then she was born and it all went out the window. Amazingly enough, I had those same visions with DD2, you'd think I would have known better by now. But still I thought this baby will take a pacifier, this baby will sleep in a crib, because I've done this once before and now I know better. Ha Ha! DD2 sleeps in my armpit for most if not all of the night, she won't take a paci despite us owning every one on the market and introducing it on day 1 of life, and cries pretty much nonstop from the second she is put down unless you are bouncing her in the bouncy chair with your foot which really doesn't get me anywhere either.<br>
Short naps are also the norm during the day. DD2 will have one or two solid long naps during the day (and by long I mean 60-90 mins) otherwise it is catnaps and being in and out of sleep all day long.<br><br>
My advice is to enjoy it. Seriously, it will be over before you know it and you will never have this time again. Enjoy sitting on the couch for 12 hours a day - watch tv, watch movies, read books and surf the net. Let everything besides baby care and personal hygiene go, it will all be waiting for you there in a month or so.<br><br>
Practically speaking - the cosleeper, really no different from a pack and play, sidecarring a crib might be a better idea. That way you can side-lie nurse (learn this if you haven't already) with your body sort of half in the crib and then scoot away once your DS is asleep.<br>
What I've been doing is at night, I've been swaddling DD2 and nursing her down in the rocker, then I put her in her crib for as long as she'll stay. Sometimes it is 5 mins, sometimes it is 3 hours. Then I get her and we cosleep the rest of the night. I'm using a sleep positioner and I feel it helps, sort of makes DD2 feel like she is still being held. Also when your DH comes home take a nap without the baby, you'll get some deeper sleep which will help you feel more restful.