Advice for bedtime routine

my husband works nights so Willow goes to bed around midnight. we take turns giving her a bath (she's not dirty but she loves being in water!) and a massage, fresh diaper and jammies, a nice cozy swaddle, then i feed her while rocking and singing. she sits upright in my arms or a swing (or a combo of both) for 30 minutes after eating because she has GERD. she's zonked with a big grin on her face after all that so i just lay her down i go to bed about an hour later, my husband comes to bed whenever he gets tired (usually 4-5am). so we have that "window of opportunity" i have no idea when she'll feel like falling asleep on her own, but i love spending such a cozy time with her so i won't mind doing it for years if need be.

Emma is only 2 months old. She may not fall asleep on her own for many months. It is unreasonable to expect to have a few hours in the evening without Emma. I think that only happens on TV shows.

It may not be a good idea for Emma to go to sleep for the night in your bed swaddled. She may get too warm and be at an increased risk for SIDS. Babies like to reach out and move around at night.

Some people love routines but they are not necessary. Daily bathing is also not necessary and can dry the baby's skin. Our household calms down at about 8 in the evening. I'm a single mother and by 8 I'm tired. We usually watch TV shows or videos. I videotape educational programs. We even did this when there was a baby in the family. The kids (over 4 or so) knew if they were bothering anyone after 8 they had to go to their bed. We would go to bed when tired.

Watching TV or videos in the evening is something you can do with Emma.
She would likely fall asleep at the breast and you can snuggle with your husband. Diapers don't need to be changed before bed unless there is poop or the baby has a rash.

Quote:

Okay -perhaps I wasn't clear. I didn't say I needed a few hours WITHOUT her, I said a few hours together. Meaning her sleeping on her own which she would be doing anyway. Regarding her swaddling in our bed. We cosleep and she needs to be swaddled to sleep. I certainly don't cover her with additional blankets. But I am putting her at risk for SIDS? If this is so can you please clarify.

I'm a single mom and developing a routine for bedtime has been a big need in my house. My DS and I have only just gotten to a good point with that. Here is what we do:

7:00 Micah nurses and then we spend a little time "winding down," together. Cuddling on the couch together, etc.

7:30/8:00 I take him into his nursery and we rock in the chair until he falls all the way asleep. Then I lay him in his crib for a few hours until I go to bed around 9:30/10:00 at which point I take him into my bed and nurse him back to sleep.

This routine has been a lifesaver for me! I think anyone with a new baby needs a little down time where they can relax, spend time with other grown-ups or their partner, etc. Being AP doesn't mean you don't get any "me time." You just find out how that works best for you and your's!

My DS still does not go to sleep on his own and that is just fine for us. I really cherish our nursing down to sleep time because I know it will be gone all too soon.

Thank you Josie, as you know and understand a routine is important.
I'm not being ridgid or inflexible with it...just need one.
Perhaps its my tissue paper emotions but sometimes I find the manner in which advice/support is dispensed here is dripping with condescension. Thank you for not making me feel badly. This is all so new to me.

do you have a sling? sometimes this was the only way i could feel somewhat free in those early days while still giving the bambina what she needs.

occasionally she would allow us to put her in a bouncy seat in the living room with us. i think she liked hearing our voice and knowing we were nearby, so as long as she wasn't in a different room we were usually good.

another idea is getting her used to sleeping on a lambskin. this way her bed is wherever the lambskin is, even if that's on the living room floor.

we weren't able to establish any kind of a routine when River was that young. things changed too quickly and once we got in one groove, everything changed two weeks later to something else, so we didn't really bother until she was probably 6 months. even then, things were very loose and went with the flow - but we're pretty laid-back, non-routine kinda people, so that's what worked for us. but it never hurts to try, i suppose, just be aware that it won't be a static thing, nothing is with an infant.

don't know if that helped much... but hopefully it did al ittle bit!

i should add that if you have a baby who loves a nightly bath, don't use soap, that way their skin won't dry out. plain water gets 'em clean enough

i think the only way a swaddled baby would have problems co-sleeping is if they can roll over while swaddled (mine can, she wriggles like a lil' worm when she first wakes up). when i do take her in bed with me, she's inclined with her head on my upper arm and my arm keeps her from rolling. she's one of those babies that if left unswaddled whacks herself in the head and constantly wakes herself up *lol* otherwise i'd leave her out of it. our house is cold and drafty so she never overheats.

i really treasure my time with the baby, but i also treasure my time when it's so quiet and i can do my own thing for a little bit, with her nearby. so i know what you're talking about

Cricket- I hear you on the paper thin emotions! For some reason I thought by 3 months my hormones would be better in that department, but I am still able to cry at the drop of a hat.

Sometimes I think people don't know how to express themselves very clearly on here and then can come across the wrong way. KWIM?

Don't worry though Mama! You sound like you're doing awesome!!