[blastomom]

I remember all the silly (and sometimes offensive

: ) advice I got from great aunts, MILs, and strangers on the street the first time I was pregnant, so I thought us "old-timers" could offer up a suggestion thread for the first-time preggo mommas here. So bring it on mommas, hand out your favorite pearls of wisdom. They can take it or leave it, but at least we can say we warned 'em!

 

[PortraitPixie]

Yeah, I got some really well intended but horrible advice with my first pregnancy...

including:

"Never rock the baby to sleep! You don't want them to count on that!!"

:

OR

"Babywise is really such a great book..."

BUT...this is what really helped me the first time along:

The Happiest Baby On the Block by Harvey Karp book...

and trusting your intuition, mammas. Noone is going to know your baby better than you.

and ask for/take help when you need it!

There really is nothing like your first pregnancy; having your first baby...Enjoy it!

 

[leximom]

The only really crappy advice I have gotten was that it's good to let the baby cry when they are little because it helps develop their lungs. Um...yeah

I would say just trust your mama instinct and almost all breastfed baby poop is noirmal even if it's rainbow colored and stringy.

 

[blastomom]

Whoops--double post.

 

[blastomom]

My first bit of advice for first-time preggos is to try and ignore all those silly women who can't resist telling your their "birth stories form hell". Can't tell you how many women (many of whom I didn't even know!) felt it was appropriate to give me gory details about their 36hr back labours/class IV tears/failed epidurals/etc.. Yeah, just what a first time mom in her 39th week wants to hear

: . Just tune them out or politely interrupt them and say you would LOVE to hear all about it once you have experienced childbirth for yourself and have something to relate it to. Sharing birth stories in the spirit of motherhood is one thing, talking smack to a woman in her 3rd trimester is another!

 

[eli janine]

Trust yourselves; listen to your babies. Babies' needs are important and deserve to be met. They are not manipulating you, no matter what MIL says.

And read lots of good books (I know he's not perfect, but Dr. Sears' The Baby Book stopped my hyperventilating a few times during that first year...)

It's okay if you don't get a shower before it's already bedtime. Go ahead and squeeze in the toothbrush, though!

Put things off 'til tomorrow if it means laughing together, napping together, or learning together today!

Talk to your babies! Read with your babies! Literacy begins at birth! (Sorry, I'm a reading teacher

)

 

[mom2wed]

Quote:

Originally Posted by eli janine Trust yourselves; listen to your babies. Babies' needs are important and deserve to be met. They are not manipulating you, no matter what MIL says.)

:

 

[daytripper75]

When you buy maternity shirts, buy things that are patterned and NOT black. I have so many black tops from last time and my first daughter has a habit of rubbing her little nose on my shirts. Ewww!

Gender neutral items are your friend! You will want to reuse as much as you can for the second baby so resist the urge to get the pink stroller, etc!
Suzy

 

[mama_bee]

oh gosh. i've gotten some terrible advice. GMIL told me to blow cigarette smoke in DS' face if he ever got fussy because it would calm him. UGH. i seriously didn't know what to say. i just gave her a total "are you CRAZY?" look.

my best advice is to go simple with everything you do. don't buy too much. gadgets won't parent for you. all you REALLY need is a set of boobs and a warm shelter. some diapers, a few articles of clothing and maybe a sling and a nursing pillow might be helpful but take it from someone with closets full of very expensive baby items -- you WON'T need all the crap people try to talk you into buying.

 

[blissfish]

My MIL is awesome, and she told me this:

"You already know how to be the best mom to this baby he will ever have. You are already perfect and so is this baby. Just keep being as perfect as you are right now and you'll be fine."

I loved that then and I STILL love it. And I'm pregnant, because reading that old e-mail from her made me cry (again).

Also, (because my own mother is maybe less awesome in the advice department than MIL), let me just say: IT'S OKAY TO BREASTFEED ANYWHERE YOU NEED TO! INCLUDING CHURCH, MOM!

Ahem! Sorry, I think that's some pent-up resentment coming through.

 

[blastomom]

Quote:

Originally Posted by rsatz Also, (because my own mother is maybe less awesome in the advice department than MIL), let me just say: IT'S OKAY TO BREASTFEED ANYWHERE YOU NEED TO! INCLUDING CHURCH, MOM! Ahem! Sorry, I think that's some pent-up resentment coming through.

I will never forget one morning when we were out to breakfast and a group of elderly just-come-from-church-folk were seated at the table next to us. I wasn't listening in to their conversation until one of the women slammed her silverware down and said, "God gave her those titties Melvin, she can nurse that child anywhere and anytime she wants to. If the Good Lord don't have a problem with it, then neither should you!" If I ever write a play or a screenplay I will definitely include that scene!

 

[blissfish]

Quote:

Originally Posted by blastomom "God gave her those titties Melvin, she can nurse that child anywhere and anytime she wants to. If the Good Lord don't have a problem with it, then neither should you!" If I ever write a play or a screenplay I will definitely include that scene!

:

Tangentially but sort-of on topic, you may want to rethink the "cute" things you teach your unspeaking child. We used to call breastfeeding "boobie". Which was fine when he couldn't speak.

On that selfsame visit with my Mother, which included a trip to her church (why...WHY do we do these things?), my 9 month old son demonstrated (for the first time) his amazing language skills by SHRIEKING "BOOBIE BOOBIE BOOBIE BOOBIEEEEE!" during the sermon.

So...my mom freaked out and was mortified in front of her congregation. But even me, self-avowed heathen rabble-rouser (albeit one who placates her uber-religious family by attending church during rare home visits) could empathize with her distaste, if not her means of expressing it (and expressing it) to us afterwards.

(However...bwahahaaaaaha! I still laugh about it 2 years later, so maybe my empathy with her is a tad superficial)

 

[blastomom]

Since we're on the topic of boobs...

Try and pick a nice, non-irritating word for your girls. For some reason, I always called them na-nas. It was really cute at first, Koa would sweetly climb in my lap and softly ask for "na-nas" and when we were out and about only those who had BF'd their own children knew what he was asking of me. Fast forward to May/June of this year, pg with #2, nipples sore and me crying just thinking about having to lift my shirt for my insistant toddler, and there he is chanting, whining and sometimes screaming "NANANANANANANANANANANANANANA!" If I never hear the words na-nas again I will be a happy woman. Next time around I'm not even giving them a name, it'll be the one thing that is sign language only!

 

[daytripper75]

We called nursing "Mimi" kind of a mothers milk sound but sweet and soft and very *yellable.*

I agree a good name for the girls and nursing is a must!
Suzy

 

[angel0123]

Quote:

My MIL is awesome, and she told me this: "You already know how to be the best mom to this baby he will ever have. You are already perfect and so is this baby. Just keep being as perfect as you are right now and you'll be fine."

I love your mil.. can we trade? mine is the worst mil ever!

The worst advice I got was from dh's cousin... I have to expose the baby to 2nd hand smoke right away or he will become allergic. We told it was fine if he was allergic to cig. smoke.

My advice is follow your heart... don't let other generations influence how you parent your child.
Bfing is the best thing I have done for my son... it is more than a sorce of optimum nutrition.
Go to a La Leche League meeting before you child is born... its a wonderful support system.