[LilyHall]

Those of you who were happy with your experiences giving birth, what were the things you found the most helpful? I'm especially interested in what kind of preparation you did in advance that you found to be really helpful (specific types of childbirth classes or relaxation exercises, or things like yoga, Kegels, perineal massage, etc.). But I'd be interested in hearing about anything you did/brought/heard that you think made a positive difference.

At the same time, were there things you did that, in retrospect, you didn't think were very helpful?

I am due around Oct. 1, and am both excited and nervous. I know the experience is different for everyone, but I'd really appreciate hearing what worked for others.

 

[tiffany21074]

You may want to post this in Birth and beyond, but i will say very helpful to me was Bradley method of natural childbirth

bradleybirth.com

or bradleybirth.org, not sure which one!

How about some books

The thinking womans guide to childbirth

birthing from within

anything from ina may gaskin

read, read read, inform yourself of your options...you don't have to accept everything they say as the only way, or even a good way!

HTH

 

[dewi]

Having a normal unmediated birth is not an extraordinary act, giving birth safely is ordinary as it should be if you start with choosing the right place to birth with the right provider who agrees that birth is normal and safe.

If you can't figure out what type of birth you want hire someone who does birth counseling to help you reflect and review all your options and how to achieve them. Ellen Chuse is a brilliant and great resource in NYC I would call her and talk to her. http://www.ellenchusechildbirth.com/04counsel.html

If you're having hospital birth Hire a labor doula, go to consumer led childbirth classes not hospital classes ( www.realbirth.com ) they are on 22nd and Sixth Avenue in the city.

Make sure you have a provider that is harmonious with your birth philosophy (if you know what that is already), otherwise it's all uphill. Unfortunately, the majority of doctors in NYC do not know how to practice and support unmediated births anymore, it is a fight to have an unmediated birth in hospital environment that does not typically have natural births.

Reading alone will not do it for you in NYC if you do not choose the right environment and provider to birth with.

 

[joyfilledmomma]

I had a fantastic birth experience....Here's what made it that way for me:

1. MY MIDWIVES: Like a previous poster mentioned you have to be comfortable with your provider...I trusted mine completely and her birth assistant was awesome too.

2. MY HUSBAND'S SUPPORT: You really need a birth partner who can be there for you. My husband was very nervous about a non-hospital birth (I birthed in a freestanding birth center) but he worked through this and was able to support me when I needed him.

3. INA MAY GASKIN'S CHILDBIRTH BOOK: I so wanted to have a natural birth but did not know a single person who had done so which left me believing that I couldn't either. The stories in this book really empowered me and made me believe in my ability to give birth.

4. WATER!!!! Like you mentioned we are all different, but for me floating in a jacuzzi tub with the jets on my back (I had back labor) absolutely got me through the hard period of active labor.

Not so useful...

CHILDBIRTH CLASSES: We took a series of 4 natural childbirth classes...not Bradley, but taught by a Bradley instructor. If you feel like you need help learning how to relax or if you don't know about the stages of labor then this is for you...honestly for me my body told me what I needed when I was in labor.

What I will do next time...

MORE KEGELS: I was a bit lazy about doing them and feel it may have shortened my pushing time a bit if I had done them regularly.

BEST WISHES FOR A WONDERFUL BIRTH!!!

 

[LilyHall]

Thanks for all the responses -- these are really helpful. I have bought and read about a dozen pregnancy and childbirth books (and am continuing to read and do research, probably a little obsessively), we've hired a labor doula whom we really like, and we're delivering at a birthing center (St. Luke's Roosevelt) with midwives. And we've also taken hypnobirthing classes. So I feel pretty comfortable with the preparation we have done so far. But it's really helpful to me to hear from all of you which things ended up being the most useful once the time actually came. There's a part of me that worries that, despite all my efforts to be prepared, I'm failing to do something really important.

I'm in complete agreement about the Ida May books. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is my favorite of all the books I've bought or received, and I really believe that every pregnant woman would benefit from reading it.

 

[kiwimutti]

I hope this isnt too graphic for you...but I feel like these things were what made Novas birth actually fun!! dh and I became facinated with how nature has got this process so well figured out...its incredible really...if you can find out your self ...not the usual stuff...but exactly how the "deployment" works...you will be more awear of whats happening real time...

One thing I realized by birth #3 CHECKING MY OWN CERVIX! when ever I felt like it and starting before labour...it was awesome, first I was dissapointed because I couldnt feel anything....but when labor started it was just absolutly excellant to feel!! I couldnt believe no one had told me about doing that!.

It brought the birth to the here and now. not somewhere away from me and though my miwife was there (reading on the couch) I felt like there wasnt anyone between me and my birth. I would check myself (I was in the birth pool) then explain to my midwife what I felt...she answered any questions...

I was able to be completly "normal" between contractions. (very intense contraxions...I took a heomipathoc called cauliphillum or something like that...a heomopathath would be able to tell you...it was to bring the focus to the uterus...boy did it ever! made the contractions very productive anyway.)

taking each contraction as it came and deeply "listening" to the babys position...sounds cleche eh!
Having dhs hands to squeeze was an absolute must!

during the pregnancy dh and I had also become really interseted in the "sack" (actually there are 2 sacks) because it made alot of sense to try to have Nova come out in that as far as thinking about how nature would have designed it... and I ate things to strengthen it...and it came out before novas head like a balloon under the water! fantastic

we were sack geeks!

I could feel my own progress and birthed Nova into my own hands...I yelled for his head...seamed to carry away the pain...and once for his shoulders too...the yelling was great I think it opened me up. Because I was used to feeling what was going on with my hands I think it was natural to support my self as his head came out.

so no tear from this 9.5 lber.

also I found in the last few weeks really thinking about the babys position made it realer too...Nova switched back and forwards a lot in the last week.
But being awear made it easier to understand...when he was entering my pelvis from one side it was so comfortible and from the other it was aweful grindy and nerve pinchy!
(I forget which side, but "sit up and pay attention" I think that was what it was called AWESOME book about your postures positioning the baby so it will enter your pelvis in the smoothest position for birth...

has it all explained).

hth and Have a choice birth!

 

[mb722toddler]

Hi, I had a successful home, water birth on Long Island. Some of the things that helped me where:

1) TRUSTING MYSELF -- I learned to trust myself, my baby and feel positive about birthing and my body. For me, this included journaling, prayer and talking to a therapist.

2) EXERCISE -- exercise toned my body and mind. I took Maternal Fitness in NYC by Ms. Tuppler. It was an excellent class - I highly recommend it. I also took another prenatal yoga class, some videos, and swam. I went to an Osteopath to keep my body aligned and had prenatal massages.

3) HAVING THE RIGHT PROVIDER& environment I found a midwife I trusted. I also found having a good DOULA was essential. I needed a partner (my husband) who would support the decision as it is our baby. My environment was a small space -- but cozy -- I labored in the shower and birthed in the water -- with my doula and husband by my side most of the time and my midwife there to watch the birth/help me along.

4) EDUCATION -- learning about my body, mind, and about positive births. I did this by joining a homebirth group, Natural mothering group, reading tons of books such as Birthing From Within, The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth, Childbirth Without Fear. I took Bradley and HYNOBIRTHING classes.

Hope this helps!

 

[TForce]

I had a wonderful exerience at the St. Luke's Roosevelt birthing center. I just can't say enough good things about the staff there.

What helped for me ...

waiting to go to the hospital (My partner was most helpful here. I thought I couldn't take the pain, but he keep saying just wait another half hour, etc. In the end I arrived at 9.5 cm and ready to push.)

having a supportive doula and partner

the fantastic nurses at the birthing center

reading up on natural births and trying to relax as much as possible about the whole thing

just trust your body to know what's best

good luck!

 

[white_feather]

The #1 thing you can do to prepare, is to choose a birth provider and a birth environment that is most closely philosophically aligned with your own beliefs. Nothing else will determine the course of your labor more than this (except for nature!)

#2 - hire a doula!!!

#3 - Here's where the birthing techniques come in. I used Birthing From Within by Pam England, and took a class too. Wonderful techniques to help relax through contractions. She offers many different ways of coping, so you can keep trying different things in labor (and you practice the techniques holding an ice cube)!

Laboring in water is simply divine - to be held by that warmth feels so nice, and the buoyancy of the water allows a pregnant momma to really get into some good, opening positions. You can chose to labor in water and deliver on land if waterbirth doesn't appeal.

I also highly recommend Ina May's Guide to Childbirth.

Have a wonderful birth!!!

 

[red_trillium]

i had a really great birth the second time around. we were in the hospital, but we had a midwife and she knew all my wishes. we discussed what we could and couldn't do for many weeks before the birth.

my husband was really great. he knew his job was to deal with the dr's/nurses and to rub my back. lol

to prepare for the birth i practiced bradley relaxation and that really helped. i did yoga all through my pregnancy and i feel that really helped too. lots of deep squats!! strengthen those muscles! i gave birth squatting with no problem and was very comfortable. i would say physically practice all the different birthing positions you can think of and see what feels good to you. for me the worst time for expiermenting with birthing positions is at the time of birth. that had a lot to do with the fact that i was freezing and didn't want to move. it was a freezing cold night in feb when i went into labor. i got chilled to/from the car ride to the hospital and couldn't get warmed up for anything!(shoulda just stayed home! lol) so i pretty much labored in silence and perfectly still under about 5 blankets. lol it worked at the time.

i religously did my kegles every day too. i feel that really helped, getting familiar with all those different muscles down there and actually being able to actively use any/all of them to push was a great feeling! dd came out with about 2 pushes, 5 min, tops.

i drank lots of red rasberry leaf tea every day to help tone up everything. both times i gave birth my water didn't break till after the head was half way out. i think that really helped it be much more comfortable for both me and the baby! (both the kids had really round heads right at birth also) so no manual breaking of the waters.

we held off cutting the cord for about 45 min after birth(i would have gone much longer, but this is all the time they would give me in the hospital, for some reason the placenta was all of a sudden a horrible health risk that was going to infect all the children in the hospital, and yes, this is what they told me!

: ), which i would do again and again. it felt so great to hold her and let her nurse and slowly she started to nurse more and more and the cord drained less and less into her before it sealed it's self up and i delivered the placenta. it was a slow transition that really meant a lot to me and my babe, i think. i debated a long time on weather or not to delay the cord cutting. i wanted to donate our cord blood too... but nature won out in the end. i figured that there must be some reason that mammals let the cord drain before detaching the baby. it seemed like the most natural choice. i'm all for not messing with the way nature intended.

other than that, just lots of visualizing and talking to the babe, staying calm and relaxed. listening to your body, all that good jazz.

good luck with your birth!

 

[mb722toddler]

Do you think age plays a factor? I birthed at just 35. I was in good shape, thin, active, healthy -- but my water broke immediately with labor -- and I found it bearable but very painful!

 

[red_trillium]

Quote:

Originally Posted by mb722toddler Do you think age plays a factor? I birthed at just 35. I was in good shape, thin, active, healthy -- but my water broke immediately with labor -- and I found it bearable but very painful!

i don't know. i've never heard any statistics on the subject. fwiw, i was 19 and 22 when i had my kids.

 

[4daughters]

my advice would be to believe in your body it knows what to do, don't fight the pain, let yourself go and go with it, funny someone told me not to think of it as pain but one big orgasm.

Have a good coach or doula. I had my mom and husband who were great. You are in control let everyone know how you want things to happen. Be prepared and educated with what you want or don't in terms of drugs, vaccinations, eye goop, vit K etc. Take care of yourself during your pregnancy, just common sense stuff, drink, eat well, listen to your body, if you feel tired rest. Good luck to you hope this helps you.

 

[EnviroBecca]

Lots of good advice already!

Before you go to the birth center (assuming your labor isn't going really fast) spend some time cuddling, kissing, fooling around with your partner. That helps to get things going.

Buy a new, large cartoon book and keep it wrapped up until you are in labor. Cartoons are great to read while you are hanging around, stretching and such, because they work with a short attention span and help you keep your sense of humor!

Keep upright as much as possible and do lots of walking around, to help the baby move down.

Perineal massage in the weeks BEFORE labor started felt really good, and I wish we'd done more of it. (I could not reach the area well enough to apply pressure, so my partner was doing it, but he kept not getting around to it.) My midwife tried to massage me between contractions, but it was insanely painful then and I could not tolerate it! Being more flexible there might have helped me avoid the episiotomy.

Make a little "file" in your mind of images, songs, and quotes that seem like they might be helpful to you during labor. Go over them in your idle moments. Then they'll be likely to pop up just when you need them. For example, in my last trimester I saw an episode of "The Simpsons" in which Flanders tries to vanquish a sinful thought by drastically yanking his mustache and shouting, "Pain is the cleanser!!!" I "filed" that and managed to think of it when the baby's head was crowning.

Bring mouthwash, in a flavor you really like, in case you throw up during transition. You will want to get the taste out of your mouth to take the queasy feeling away, but you probably won't have the time or coordination to go brush your teeth.

If you feel a strong urge to do any particular thing, there is probably a good reason. Do it, even if it seems silly or irrelevant.

SPEAK UP if anything anyone's doing feels wrong to you. My partner and I are still kicking ourselves for the things we did not speak up about. In every case where we DID speak up, we feel it improved the situation.

I hope you have a fabulous birth!!

 

[LilyHall]

Thank you so much, again, to everyone who posted suggestions. I really appreciate both the encouraging words and the really practical pieces of advice (e.g. books, Kegels, the red raspberry tea, bringing mouthwash, etc.). I also loved the Flanders thing -- it made me laugh.

 

[greeba]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyHall we've hired a labor doula whom we really like I'm in complete agreement about the Ida May books. Ina May's Guide to Childbirth is my favorite of all the books I've bought or received, and I really believe that every pregnant woman would benefit from reading it.

Lily - Can you share your Doula information? We're in the process of looking for one right now. I was on the fence, but we're doing a hospital birth, due in January and I'm reading Ina May's Guide right now. She says if you're going to give birth in a hospital, hire a doula, so now I feel a renewed sense of urgency about this!

Thanks,

Greta

 

[MindfulBirth]

1. Trust yourself. Don't rely on anyone else to do this for you. YOU can do it. I second, third, and fourth reading "Birthing from Within" by Pam England.

2. Water. My husband asked me more than once if I was actually having contractions because it seemed to him that I was just having a nice time in the jacuzzi.

3. DO YOUR KEGELS. I did hundreds a day while pregnant and was able to push my kids out in 1/2 and hour and 15 min respectively. No tears, no episiotomy, no stitches for either one.

4. Hire a doula and write a birth plan.

5. Let go of control. You can fantasize about your perfect birth, but the baby will come when and how he/she wants to come. You can't control when your water will break or how quickly you will get to 10 cm. This may be the most out of control experience of your life, but it will also be the most powerful.

 

[umami_mommy]

1. act from an empowered not fearful place.... most people, medicos included, view birth as a scary, dangerous event requiring a doctor or other "trained" professional. fact is women are made to birth and as long as it's not messed with, 95% of the time it happens all by itself. learn what impeads natural birth and make empowered choices that will prevent this from happening. remember that fear makes pain unbearable.

2. never forget that responsibility for your birth lies with you. never give that power away to anyone, your doula, your husband, your mw.

3. never forget that birth is a dance between YOU AND BABY. most HCPs will try to make it a dance between them and you. reject the presence of anyone who tries to do this, including doulas and husbands.

4. never forget you are an animal. think of how animals birth and give yourself the same laditutde. be alone if you want, turn off the lights, don't let anyone touch you, make lots of noise and change your position frequently. give yourself permission to be as primal as you need and never worry about "bothering" anyone or "being too loud." and don't let anyone tell you what to do, if you want to be on all fours on the floor do it. if you want to push, push. follow your body's lead. a cat never took advice on breathing from anyone watching her birth.

5. feel free to ask for whatever help you need. if you need help so you can go squat down in the garden, do it. if you need someone to help you put six pillows between your legs and back, do it. if want your husband to not say another word, tell him. ask away and tell people what you need.

6. course my last one is birth at home, since doing all of these things in any other setting is difficult. sorry.

 

[LilyHall]

Greta,

We interviewed a few different doulas and ended up deciding on Shana Teitelbaum. She was one of the doulas recommended by Midwifery of Manhattan. I don't have her contact information in front of me but will get it from home and send it to you.

Another doula we met with and really liked was Eve Hadley, who works with the Birthday Presence group (www.birthdaypresence.net). I remember that I did a Google search on Eve before meeting her and found a very positive review of her on the parkslopeparents.com site.

Both Shana and Eve were *extremely* nice when we met with them -- very warm, intelligent, and sweet -- and we had a very hard time deciding between them. Eve is younger than Shana but has attended more births (I think about 25 births vs. about 15). I think they are both considered relatively new as doulas go, so their fees are reasonable. We were originally planning on trying to find someone with more years of experience than either Eve or Shana, but ultimately we decided that having a good fit in terms of personality was just as important.

Hope that helps.

 

[greeba]

Quote:

Originally Posted by LilyHall Greta, Hope that helps.

Definitely helps a lot! Thanks for the information. If you could email to me, that would be great! I'll PM you my email.

Thanks!

Greta