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I am new and looking from some advice from all of you intelligent women. My husband and I have been living in southern CA for 9 years and have wanted to move ever since we have had kids because of the extreme empasis on image and materialism in this area. He is very close to being offered a job in Newtown CT, so of course we are getting cold feet. I am looking to find out if the area has some nice, down to earth people with liberal and natural (meaning attatchment parenting type stuff) values. I am also looking to find out if there are any parent co-op preschools and especially any homeschoolers in the area. I have a 6 year old daughter and a 9 month old daughter. Would anyone recommend this move as being a good one for a nice, liberal family? Oh, I am robyn by the way. Thank you so much.
 

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I used to live in cali, too and agree, not the best place to raise kids. However, CT sucks. Sorry, if you are at all positive, outgoing, friendly, you won't like it. People are completely unfriendly and yuck. But Northampton, MA area was really nice, for the east coast and Burlington VT was cool too. Just such a different vibe...No offense, but the years I lived in CT were pretty much sheer hell and jeez, they tax you for everything, it's pretty amazing. Also the humidity is really tough, and you won't be used to the bug factor, major bugs of all kinds, big ones that get in your bed and in your food...The winter is not so hot, very damp.
I do hope you find a good place, but New England in general has a really different way, and no culture to speak of. There is alot more classism and racism from what I saw, more overt. I could go on and on, but it's just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt!
 

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I tend to agree with SMUM but CT has been good to us. If you come from Cali you will be very surprised by people here. I moved from Canada and it was a culture shock for me. It wasn't until i talked to someone at work who had lived in southern CA that i realized there wasn't anything wrong with me
To say that people here are a neurotic, rude, angry bunch is an understatement. But we've also have met some natives who are nice once we got to know them and some are now our best friends. Most of our friends are transplants tho, who don't plan to stick around for too long, unfortunately.
It just depends on the community too. You can find some kindred spirits. I always liken making friends to dating - most not so good /never pan out, but once you find someone you like it makes all that searching worth while.
 

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We have lived in CT now for just two years. We are up in the northwestern part of the state, happens to be where a lot of New Yorkers do weekends, so pretty expensive. Bottom line, it is a conservative area. I am the only person I know who has a family bed or breastfeeds a two year old! My closest friend moved to my area from Boulder, CO, which sounds so nice!!!! However we live at a boarding school so there is a really nice community in that. Just frustrating to never meet anyone with similar parenting styles.....
 

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Lisie~ there is big community here in CT-probibly not in the more wealthy of neighborhoods but we are here. It may not be the norm but the family bed and nuring a toddler on up is here as well as lots of homeschoolers, unschoolers and natural birthers. Just have to get out of the conservative sections. CT is more liberal than a lot of states, even with a REP governor. Hey, we a always a blue state.
 

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I have to chime in and say that I have never once in my life had bugs of any kind in my bed or my food. (We first moved here in 1980.) I consider myself more than friendly and outgoing and I love it here. No culture? There are a million museums, symphonies, theaters. You're two hours from New York and Boston. Granted, Hartford leaves a lot to be desired and if you're looking to go to the ballet or opera every night, you'll be disappointed. But I imagine most of us with children aren't doing that anyway. It's nit-picky of me, but I don't understand how a winter with snow could not be damp? I'm not in a minority so I can't speak to the racism factor, but financially I guess you could call us lower middle class (like less than $50K/yr) and we have never experienced anything like classism. We sacrifice to send our son to a private Montessori school and we are certainly the "poorest" family there. I am heavily involved in the school, and am the president of our PTA. I have never had anyone say an inappropriate word about our "class." I know you said to take your opinion with a grain of salt, and I'm trying, but Wow. I guess something about CT burned you bad.

Sorry to single you out, SMUM; I take issue with mp30's "neurotic, rude, angry" comment too. I just find such generalizations misleading for someone looking for information.

And now I'm going to generalize sorta
: DH and I met and lived in Savannah, GA for many years. His job (tattoo artist) had him interacting with every layer of society for 12 years. We saw more racism, classism, and bigotry than most people see in their entire lives. Talk about rude and angry. I'll just say that in our experiences in every state we visited in the southeast we found "Southern Hospitality" to be a big, fat lie. My opinion, of course.

Edited to add about Savannah: Palmetto bugs (cockroaches) 2-1/2" inches long, and they are everywhere. Has nothing to do with how unclean your house is. Biting gnats that leave a sore that lasts for weeks. Fire ants that make you break out in little pustules. Rats the size of cats in downtown. Snakes. Months on end of 90-95 degree heat with unending 90% humidity. Ugh! I know what hell is!
 

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I'm glad for you, corbin's mum that you found your place. It did burn me bad. Like a pp said, I felt like I was in an alien land of cranky people who didn't want to make friends, the only friend I made was of course, from the west coast and promptly moved back. I also hated humidity, but I guess it's all relative, in comp to southern states. We lived in the country, and yes, there were bugs, wasps (my son was stung) tics, spiders, those little mothy things in the food. Being a cali gal, all you get there really are roaches, ifyou are lucky.

But as I said, it's all relative and the south would be even worse, if I came from there, (visited some, was not impressed) I would probably love ct. But the contrast between cali was ginormous. In any case, it seems like the op will like it from her other posts on the double posted thread.

In terms of culture, if you go to NYC, yes there is culture but in CT? Also people don't mix like they do in LA, in LA you see all kinds of people mixing, different races and backgrounds. Not so much in CT. ALso the food....such a difference. I guess if you havent lived in cali, you wouldn't see the contrast. That was my point. As I said, just my opinion as someone who has lived in both places. ( Although I never lived in a really conservative part of california. ) But, If I came fromthe south, like you I prob would have a diff perspective. It's all relative.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by SMUM
Being a cali gal, all you get there really are roaches, ifyou are lucky.
I was just talking with my (native CT) friend who said that when she lived in Cali, there weren't even mosquitoes. Now that would be nice.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SMUM
In terms of culture, if you go to NYC, yes there is culture but in CT?
Really! I swear there is!
The thing about CT -- or any New England state -- is that you can drive a couple hours and be someplace completely different. You drive 5 hours in CA, you're pretty much still in CA, depending on where you are and what direction you go. It's not a big deal at all for us to go to VT, NY, or MA for a just a day trip.

Quote:

Originally Posted by SMUM
But, If I came fromthe south, like you I prob would have a diff perspective. It's all relative.
Just want to clarify that I am not from the South. My family moved here in 1980 from central New York, but I went to college in GA (why, I don't know) and lived there for 15 years. If DH's job hadn't paid so well, we would have left much, much sooner. The good thing about GA is that I met and married DH and had DS. Oh, and sweet tea. I do miss that.

I just had to defend my home! Of course, if I was from GA, I would probably be perturbed by my own GA comments. You're right: It's all relative.
 

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Hey, well I wish I met you there! Since we've moved, I've made a lot of friends, do lots of things, etc. But whilst in CT I felt kind of like an alien in a harsh unfriendly land, very isolated. I thought it was just me, then when I moved, it was so different I was vastly relieved...

I see you came from there orig, so maybe it felt like home. I am very glad that you found your "place". That means alot.
 

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Where are you now, if you don't mind me asking? (I see "North" is your location.) Because DH said, "Where is she that's so wonderful and why don't we live there?" He loves CT too, but he's the type that is always looking for the better place, better job, etc.

I would like to think if you had known me that you would have liked CT better -- Thanks!
 
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