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Forgive me, this is kinda long...<br><br>
We're in the midst of nightweaning our 18 month old. It's going pretty well - he hasn't nursed at night since October 20th. But during that time he spent four nights with his grandma and grandpa, and all the rest of those nights with just his dad - I was sleeping in a room down the hall.<br><br>
He's starting to sleep much better, waking a couple/few times a night and giving a wah-wah-wah's before rolling over and falling back to sleep on his own. The last three nights he hasn't needed any hands-on attention until 5 (he's usually asleep by 8).<br><br>
Liam has been sleeping in his own bed for a few months now, a twin futon on the floor adjacent to our king futon, and a few inches lower. He doesn't nurse to sleep, but my husband or I stay with him until he falls asleep. Usually only a few minutes, now that we've got a good bedtime routine.<br><br>
We're trying to figure out what our next steps should be. I'd like to move back to my bed, but I'm concerned about Liam "smelling the milk." Also, we've found that Liam sleeps worst when all three of us are in the same bedroom. He's putting himself back to sleep now, but making enough noise doing it that he's waking my husband up each time, so DH is pretty exhausted. So we're thinking it might be a good time to try Liam in his own room.<br><br>
So... should we:<br>
1. Put the queen mattress from the bed in that room on the floor and just try putting him down there, while leaving his bed in our room for backup? Or...<br><br>
2. Would it make more sense to move *his* bed from our room, so at least he's falling asleep on the same bed with the same sheets and blankets? Or...<br><br>
3. Move my husband and I both to the queen bed for a few nights so Liam gets used to sleeping by himself before we change rooms?<br><br>
4. Any other idea?<br><br>
Thanks MDC Mamas!
 

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hmm...<br>
Once someone told me that one way to do it is to put your mattress down on the floor (get rid of your bed), then move the baby to a crib mattress on the floor beside you and progressively move it closer to the door over time until he's out of the room.<br><br>
My personal opion is that nightweaning can be stressful for the little guy and maybe you should wait to move him away until he's done weaning.<br><br>
With my daughter I couldn't move her to her own room cuz I didn't have a room to move her to. I started night weaning when she turned 2. I still nursed her to sleep, and when she woke in the morning. If she woke up during the night I'd just stroke her hair/cheek/back and whisper "shhhhhh, shhhhhh, shhhhh" into her ear. I figured she didn't really "need" the milk, she just didn't know any other way to put herself back to sleep. After about 2 months she was putting herself to sleep. By the time she turned 3 I FINALLY got a place with 2 bedrooms and fixed hers up "like a princess" and now I can't get her to sleep with us at all! Not if she's sick, not if I bribe her, nothing.
 

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I think if we knew why you were nightweaning and moving your son to his own room, we might have a better idea how to help. 18 months seems awfully young for that.
 

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I agree with Jen, it is pretty early.<br><br>
I also just wanted to add that Juels "weaned herself" completely about 2 months after we finished night weaning. I night weaned because I was a single mom working 2 jobs and with her still waking every 2 hours to nurse I was too exhausted to go on. My health was breaking down. There was a ton of changes and stress in our life at the time and I often wonder if she was really ready to wean when she did. With the next one I plan to let him decide when he's done nursing at night, as well as during the day, becuase I really think 2 is pretty young for a wee one to wean themselves. She didn't nurse for a week and then one day I laid her down for a nap and she said "mommy nursey" and I didn't think that I had milk anymore so I told her nursey was all gone... and she cried... and I still tear up thiking about it. The guilt still eats at me. I wish we were still nursing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/guilty.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="guilty"> I'm not saying this will happen everytime a person night weans, but it's become a fear of mine.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">I night weaned because I was a single mom working 2 jobs and with her still waking every 2 hours to nurse I was too exhausted to go on. My health was breaking down.</td>
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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> Those seem like pretty important reasons to night-wean to me. I hope you can get past feeling guilty about doing what you needed to do to be healthy to take care of your baby.<br><br>
We are in the process of night-weaning and moving our 16 mo DD into her room (why? because it's what feels right for our family <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"> ).<br><br>
We decided to do night-weaning first and then start the room transition but it's just worked out that they are happening simultaneously.....and really smoothly, I might add. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"> I am truly amazed (and relieved) at how gentle this transition has been.<br><br>
We're on night 6 of not nursing during the night (I nurse her before bed and then DH puts her down....something that feels like an important routine for us before baby #2 arrives) and he puts her down in her crib in her room.<br><br>
When she wakes in the night he brings her into our bed and I stay as far on my side of the bed as possible...trying not to make a sound...as he comforts her back to sleep.<br><br>
Each night she has slept progressively longer in her own space and last night she slept the whole night in her crib. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yikes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="EEK!"> DH had to go in and snuggle her twice but he was able to put her back in her crib. Of course I was wide awake from 3:30 on feeling SO weird not having her next to me (or on top of me <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">).<br><br>
I'm not sure about your DS but having me in bed while we were night-weaning has not been an issue. In fact the second night when she stirred I said...Do you need Papa? and she said (in her sweet, little, sleepy voice) 'Papa' as she crawled over to him and curled up in his arms. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/luxlove.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="throb"> So even having me talk to her didn't seem to be a problem.<br><br>
As for the bed question....I think I would try moving his bed into his room and see how he reacts to sleeping in there. (That's basically been our approach....let's try what feels right to us and see how she responds....if it's clearly not what she needs, we can try something else.)<br><br>
Good luck mama!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/heartbeat.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="heartbeat"><br><br>
~Erin<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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Sorry to pop in here again...<br><br>
but I just wanted to say thanks to Erin <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/happytears.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="happytears">: there are just some things you need to hear from another mom, you know?<br><br>
I was also so touched by the supportiveness of your husbands. When Juels was a baby it was my "job" to keep her quiet at ALL times, esp at night so that my ex could sleep. Because, you know, HE worked all day! I feel so blessed to be having this child with a man who is so loving. I think it takes a pretty special man to walking into a 2 1/2 year olds life and instantly treat her and love her as his own. Acually, he gets upset at any mention of him not being her "real" daddy. Raising babies is tough, and I just hope that those of us who have such sweet husbands appreciate them, and never fail to let them know it. I know the flip side, and it isn't fun.<br><br>
Also, lets not forget that all kids need different things, or respond differently to different things, at different times. All any of us can do is follow our instincts and take A LOT of deep breaths. Sometimes it seems like forever before we find what works for us, esp when we're exhausted. But none of us are alone, though it sometimes feels that way. I'm so thankful that we can chat here together, and share our wisdoms. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/luxlove.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="throb">
 
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