I, too, know what you mean. And I'm from a military background, and all my old friends are military. No offense to the military families, but I think that living on a small base and all, you get that sorta 'pack mentality' after a while and no on thinks outside the mainstream box.
Now that I have a baby, it's putting strain on my friendships, especially with other friends who have children, as well. They hear the way I'm raising my babies and I think they either feel like I'm just wrong and stupid, or it makes them think I must disapprove of them and think they are stupid. And honestly, I do disapprove... so that makes it difficult as well.
Just last nigth, I had a long discussion with an old friend who was APALLED that I din't vax, that dd (5 mos) has no solids, that we plan to homeschool, etc. She flet like I was critisizing her when I tried to defend my desicions. And, sadly, I do think she's doing a less-than-stallar job, considering her 8 month old "loves honey comb cereal and vanilla wafers" and that he sleeps through the night "because he knows I'm not gonna come get him when he cries." Ouch, poor kiddo!
What I've tried doing is getting on the regional forums here to make some friends (I found a playgroup here of AP families). I'm on Myspace as well, slowly finding like-minded people (they have AP, CD, and EBF groups), and I plan to start taking some mother and baby yoga classes in the day (I figure the women there will at least be stay-at-home moms who care about health and their bodies, so we have SOMETHING in common, at least).
I'm not dumping my old friends, but I am finding new ones that reflect the way I want to live now. Of course, that being said, I'm not living near my old friends anyway (we've moved five times in the last year), so they can't think I'm avoiding them or anything.
Good luck. Have patience. If you try to surround yourself with people who reflect similar ideals, you'll have good friends soon enough. And even if you don't have child-rearing ideals in common with your old friends, you still have the history, so keep in touch.