Mothering Forum banner

1 - 8 of 8 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,319 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My daughter is 6-1/2 months old, and we co-sleep (have since birth). Lately, we've been having nap difficulty. She's never been willing to sleep alone for any length of time (which isn't a problem at night), but until recently, she would sleep in arms. I could let her sleep in my lap or on my chest while I did computer stuff, so I didn't mind. Now, being in the sling or in arms for a nap is too much movement/noise for her and she wakes up.<br><br>
In fact, the only way she'll nap for any length of time is upstairs, in the bed, with mama (pretty much has to be mama) with her. This is a HUGE problem, because a) I'm gone 2 full days and 2 half days to work, and papa can't get her to nap and b) that means I'm stuck upstairs in bed with her for hours, which makes me feel kinda trapped and I don't like it. She's not napping much at all right now, and I can tell she's tired. She only sleeps 8-10 hours at night (with feedings) and I know that's not enough for her!<br><br>
Our other problem with this situation is that it means zero sex life for me and my husband. I see all these "what about sex and co-sleeping?" threads with people going, "we just go do it on the couch, hee hee", and I'd be delighted to employ the couch or the spare bed or the laundry room- but what are we supposed to do when she wakes up as soon as we leave her for longer than 5 minutes? Gah! We're so frustrated.<br><br>
Advice please?<br><br>
Julia
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
300 Posts
Hey, Julia. I'm in a similar situation, but making progress... My girl (nearly 5 mos) almost always slept on me in the first months, since all I wanted in life was to snuggle her, plus I could use the computer and read and stuff. It was the perfect life (for her, too!). But now I need to get stuff done. The way we've been working on it is that I will bounce her to sleep on the yoga ball and let her sleep in my arms for about five minutes. Then, even if I'm working on the computer, I lay her down on the bed. Just next to me, but I'm sitting...so we aren't snuggling like nighttime. I'm here right now, in fact! Anyway, after a few minutes, when she's settled, I get up and sneak away. At first it was five minutes before she somehow realized it wasn't as cozy. Now she won't sleep more than a half-hour w/o me there, but then I go back when she stirs and get her back to sleep. So basically I'm easing her into the feeling of sleeping without me, but attending to her needs. Hopefully she will sleep longer and longer.<br><br>
Now, on the sex topic...I hear you. It's not *where* to do it, it's *when*! But once you get her sleeping on her own a bit, you will have time for a quickie.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
16 Posts
Julia-<br>
My daughter was like this. I got to where I would put her to sleep by nursing or laying next to her and then roll away abit. When she awoke I would try shhing and patting to get her back to sleep until eventually she would sleep without me being wed next to her. Putting her in a sling and walking also worked well, especially for my husband. Good luck to you.<br>
Jennifer<br><br>
Olivia 8/2/04<br>
EDD 10/3/06
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
167 Posts
Does she wake up as you are putting her down after she falls asleep in your arms? Or are you nursing her to sleep in bed and she wakes when you get up?<br><br>
If it's a noise issue, have you tried white noise, like a fan, to minimize the sounds she can hear you make?<br>
One idea if she's missing your warm presence is to gradually replace your body with a warm pillow that you've slept with, so it sort of smells like you, when you get up after nursing her to sleep. Or another idea that I've used with my son is to wrap him snuggly (but not swaddled.. he won't tolerate that anymore) in a blanket so that when I get up, he notices the touch difference less.<br>
Or if it's a movement issue, like the mattress bouncing wakes her up, maybe if you tried putting her on a different mattress (like a crib side-car) that is right next to yours, then nurse her to sleep with you on your mattress, her on hers, then when you get up, her mattress will remain still.<br><br>
Also, I don't know how long you wait for her to be asleep before trying to move away from her, but I have noticed that sometimes it works to wait an extra 10 minutes or so till he's in a deeeep sleep before I can get up without him waking.<br><br>
Johanna
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
51 Posts
I've had the same issue with my 4 1/2 mo DD and have done most of what the other posters have said with success. The biggest help has been swaddling. Before swaddling she would wake whenever I tried to lie her down. Now she'll fuss a little as I swaddle her sometimes, but then we go straight to nursing. Once asleep I can lie her down or roll away if I was lying next to her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,319 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I can usually get her to sleep long enough for me to get up. This is how it goes:<br><br>
I lie down with her. She nurses, and either falls asleep nursing or nurses, then falls asleep sucking on fingers or just being close. Then I lie there, doing a crossword ususlly, until she seems really asleep. I get up. Baby stays asleep. Huzzah! I leave room. 5 minutes later, baby squawks. I go back to room and pat baby/offer boob, but it's too late. She's up again.<br><br>
I don't know what's waking her up.<br><br>
Oh, and my husband has tried the sing, but she won't go to sleep in it easily anymore. And when she does sleep, she'll wake if he sits down, which sucks!<br><br>
Julia
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,138 Posts
My first was just like this -- but at ten months old I was suddenly able to nurse him to sleep in our bed, and then get up and walk away. It was a weird feeling!<br><br>
Nothing changed, he just got old enough to stay asleep. So maybe you just need to put up with it for another couple months <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> I know that "be patient" advice can sometimes be annoying, but it also works too ... those immortal words,<br><b>This too shall pass</b>.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
469 Posts
My 10 month old daughter was the same way until about 3 months ago. She would nap for only about 10-15 minutes max. after we put her down. She generally would only nap on us, in a sling, in her swing or in the car. Then gradually she began to get a little better around 7 months. Now we're working on sleeping longer than 45 minutes without waking up or wanting to be held.. Although, she will nap for about 2 hours if someone is in bed with her.<br>
I think she just likes to be near us when she sleeps.. even if I get out of bed early for some reason, the first time she wakes and notices I'm not there, she's up..<br><br>
Good Luck..it'll eventually get better!
 
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Top