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advice or 1st timers

899 Views 27 Replies 21 Participants Last post by  quirkylayne
I thought that many of the moms here who are first timers may benefit from of the things that people never tell you about having a baby. Even after the first one there were surprises with the second-Like hemroids--people just don't tell you that you could get them unless you ask. ITs sort of embarassing to talk about. Another thing for me was the constipation after labor-I was very constipated the frist few days after ds#2-which only makes the hemroids worse. You are better off drinking water and trying not to force it if you have hemroids too-I learned the hard way becasue I was too embarrassed to ask. So anyone else have any I was to embarassed to ask advice? We can save the frist time mamas from all those wierd little things you just don't want to ask about.
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Yes, please, share with us 1st timers! It's so much better finding out it's a possibility BEFOREHAND-- you can mentally prepare yourself, y'know?

Thanks, gnutter, for starting this thread. Hemmorhoids duly noted.
How many of us first timers are there?

Everyone is so well informed on this board that it sometimes feels like I'm the only new mama here!

Hey, take it as a compliment!
Nobody told me about throwing up in labor with my first.
Apparently it helps with progression. I have done it with all my kids! I did get hemmorhoids with my second, but they didn't actually appear for a week afterwards.
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You might poop while you are pushing. With my first I actually stopped pushing for a minute because I could tell I was going to and I was embarassed-don't be embarassed-it happens a lot. thats why they sell those small debris removers with birth pools
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This will be my 5th time going through labor & I can honestly tell you that none of them are the same
Each one is so different~ I do remember the embarassement of pooping with my first~ With my 2nd it hurt so bad I closed my legs & said I am done(his head was only 1/2 out), my 3rd was amazingly fast & if I had listened to the dr & if he didn't let me get off the bed I would not have laid on the floor of the bathroom & thought I was going to deliver while my DH, Dr & doula were just outside the door laughing(my DH did get me on the bed & all was well)

My 4th went so fast & my Dh knew enough that when I said I had to go potty he turned around & said get the Dr in here now! She made it & it was great~

Some things I have learned:
~Castor oil makes for a stinky delivery

~Listen to your instinct & try really hard to block out the rest
~You can have an induced hospital birth with very little intervention & no drugs!
~When your milk comes in it really comes in!

That is al I can think of~ Each time is such a learning experience that I learn something new each time so I could answer questions but I am not sure about just telling what I learned

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I had hemorrhoids last time and it was partly because I being encouraged to push for two hours. I will not be doing that this time. When I am ready, my body will push the baby out involuntarily, with no conscious effort on my part. Coached pushing also puts your pelvic floor at risk. This time I will be extra-careful because I already have hemorroids. Pads soaked in witch hazel help to soothe them - good to have on hand in your postpartum supplies.

Here's an excellent article written by my midwife:
Pushing for First-Time Moms

I pooped while pushing, and it actually really bugged me. The MWs were very professional about wiping me, but I guess I just don't enjoy pooping when people are around. I had tried to give myself an enema in early labour but I didn't do it properly (I had never done it before). This time I will try again after getting some advice (wait longer until you can't possibly hold it in anymore). So an enema is on my list for birth supplies that I need.

If you are getting coaching from someone (incl a doctor or MW) that doesn't jive with your instincts, try to just ignore it. They are not giving birth and you don't have to follow their instructions just to be nice. It's tricky when you are working hard and can't talk at all - for some women it just feels easier to just do what they are asking. I would have had a better birth if I had been able to block out the well-intentioned "help" that I got.
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Ask for an ice pack as soon as possible, and is convienent for you, to put in your undies. I forgot to ask for one (it should have been offered anyway!) for many hours later. Even then, oooh it felt so much better!
oooh - that reminds me...with my 1st i had purchased some pad/ice pack combos from a homebirth site and they were the BEST THING EVER. i just got a bunch more for this time. i'm prayng that i won't need them (because i won't tear/ need an episiotomy) but just in case, they are really wonderful.

no one told me how THIRSTY i would be during BF. i would drink a HUGE bottle of water every time I nursed. a nice thing to stock up on in advance.

Originally Posted by ent_mom
Ask for an ice pack as soon as possible, and is convienent for you, to put in your undies.
You can also soak some maxipads in water and freeze them if you are having a homebirth.
you can soak pads with witch hazel and freeze them too-helps with inflammation and feels good.
Love your peri bottle and sitz baths! I felt upset being pressured by the nurses to do sitz baths, but honestly, even without stitches it helped out a whole lot!

I peed gallons after delivery!

I also got this surge of superhuman power for the first two days and felt no pain. Take it easy, because you'll feel it the third day, lol. I overdid it last time.
With my first, I honestly just didn't realize how long it would take to recover, in general, and especially "down there". I had done tons of reading, but you just can't really imagine it beforehand. I had a second degree tear, and walking hurt for a couple of weeks and sex hurt for months and months (sorry if TMI!). I wish I'd known that I would really need, like, a month to recover in general, and that my body would heal wonderfully, it would just take some time.
Good thread!
Thanks for sharing your experiences ladies!
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Mine is silly...after my milk came in i kept on waking up in a totally soaked milky bed. This went on a few nights...I thought to myself - what do i do??? I was sick of waking up cold and all wet...
DUH. Nursing pads.
I mean, of all things, how the heck did i not figure this out?
I have NO IDEA.
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I know alot of cloth diapering mamas use cloth mama pads too, and that the normal advice is to pack a pile of cotton undies and the biggest pads you can find, but after birth when I was getting dressed, the MWs at my birthcenter actually gave me some Depends to put on!

I was totally embarrassed by this at first, but seriously, I went home and bought a pack for myself. They were comfy, easy to get off (Tore right down the side instead of having to pull down), soaked up all that postpartum blood, kept me from ruining any undies/pants/nighties, and once I got over myself, it was the best PP item I had in my stockpile!

I definately also second (third? Fourth?) the sitz baths and the witch hazel. Lifesavers!
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buy some extras of those water proof pads that they use under you during labor-they are great those first few days to protect your sheets and save you the effort of trying to change sheets. Also I second the take it easy advice!! About 2 days after delivery I thought I felt great-this lasted until around noon when I totally crashed and realized I had so overdone the whole getting out of bed thing.
Great thread, thanks mamas!!

Where do you find peri bottles and sitz baths?

Oh new mamas, I send the best, most empowering vibes to you all!

I advise...

...that your husbands know what their job during the birth is. That is anything at all that you tell them to do. My husband knew his position, and did very well with the cyclical demands I gave around contractions. Contraction began, "Hon, my back!" (rubbed my lower back...well, drove his fist so hard into it I had some bruising the next day, but it felt sooooo good). Contraction ended, "Ice!" ice chips trickled into my mouth. Then, "hon, fan! Hot!" What a good man. mentally prepare yourself to "go there," to a place you've never known before and will likely never know again outside the context of birth. You are probably going to be able to minimally communicate, but the sensations that overtake your body are so new and so very very powerful, it can be scary if you're not prepared for it. Don't be scared. Enjoy the ride.

...I second (third, fourth, fifth) the following--don't let someone tell you when to push. When it comes time to do that, if you're not feeling a surge within yourself already, you're pushing too soon. I was told to push, and toward the end of my pushing I finally felt the natural, like turbo boost, of a natural push (uncontrolled by me, consciously, at least),and my pushing wasn't as productive as it could've been if I'd listened to myself. Tell everyone to f-off if you must. You can get away with it if you're in labor.
AND--maxis moistened with witch hazel and stored in the freezer post partum...oh man, oh man. Heaven on earth, ladies. A must do. Buy a big bottle of witch hazel and some maxis. Today. AND--take it easy after the birth. Do nothing at all for a week except for eat, sleep, bathe, and nurse the baby. Then for the rest of the first month, don't carry anything heavy or exert much energy (like no carrying laundry baskets, no carrying groceries, no long leisurely shopping trips, no housecleaning--woohoo!). It took three months for me to get my energy levels back to what they were when I was pregnant. Four to five months to that of what they were before I was pregnant. Recruit and accept help. Your body and soul will thank you.

Best wishes to you all,
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This is a very helpful thread for us newbies... taking notes!
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