advice or 1st timers

This will be my 5th time going through labor & I can honestly tell you that none of them are the same Each one is so different~ I do remember the embarassement of pooping with my first~ With my 2nd it hurt so bad I closed my legs & said I am done(his head was only 1/2 out), my 3rd was amazingly fast & if I had listened to the dr & if he didn't let me get off the bed I would not have laid on the floor of the bathroom & thought I was going to deliver while my DH, Dr & doula were just outside the door laughing(my DH did get me on the bed & all was well)

My 4th went so fast & my Dh knew enough that when I said I had to go potty he turned around & said get the Dr in here now! She made it & it was great~

Some things I have learned:
~Castor oil makes for a stinky delivery
~Listen to your instinct & try really hard to block out the rest
~You can have an induced hospital birth with very little intervention & no drugs!
~When your milk comes in it really comes in!

That is al I can think of~ Each time is such a learning experience that I learn something new each time so I could answer questions but I am not sure about just telling what I learned

Melissa

I had hemorrhoids last time and it was partly because I being encouraged to push for two hours. I will not be doing that this time. When I am ready, my body will push the baby out involuntarily, with no conscious effort on my part. Coached pushing also puts your pelvic floor at risk. This time I will be extra-careful because I already have hemorroids. Pads soaked in witch hazel help to soothe them - good to have on hand in your postpartum supplies.

Here's an excellent article written by my midwife:
Pushing for First-Time Moms

I pooped while pushing, and it actually really bugged me. The MWs were very professional about wiping me, but I guess I just don't enjoy pooping when people are around. I had tried to give myself an enema in early labour but I didn't do it properly (I had never done it before). This time I will try again after getting some advice (wait longer until you can't possibly hold it in anymore). So an enema is on my list for birth supplies that I need.

If you are getting coaching from someone (incl a doctor or MW) that doesn't jive with your instincts, try to just ignore it. They are not giving birth and you don't have to follow their instructions just to be nice. It's tricky when you are working hard and can't talk at all - for some women it just feels easier to just do what they are asking. I would have had a better birth if I had been able to block out the well-intentioned "help" that I got.

Oh new mamas, I send the best, most empowering vibes to you all!

I advise...

...that your husbands know what their job during the birth is. That is anything at all that you tell them to do. My husband knew his position, and did very well with the cyclical demands I gave around contractions. Contraction began, "Hon, my back!" (rubbed my lower back...well, drove his fist so hard into it I had some bruising the next day, but it felt sooooo good). Contraction ended, "Ice!" ice chips trickled into my mouth. Then, "hon, fan! Hot!" What a good man.

...you mentally prepare yourself to "go there," to a place you've never known before and will likely never know again outside the context of birth. You are probably going to be able to minimally communicate, but the sensations that overtake your body are so new and so very very powerful, it can be scary if you're not prepared for it. Don't be scared. Enjoy the ride.

...I second (third, fourth, fifth) the following--don't let someone tell you when to push. When it comes time to do that, if you're not feeling a surge within yourself already, you're pushing too soon. I was told to push, and toward the end of my pushing I finally felt the natural, like turbo boost, of a natural push (uncontrolled by me, consciously, at least),and my pushing wasn't as productive as it could've been if I'd listened to myself. Tell everyone to f-off if you must. You can get away with it if you're in labor. AND--maxis moistened with witch hazel and stored in the freezer post partum...oh man, oh man. Heaven on earth, ladies. A must do. Buy a big bottle of witch hazel and some maxis. Today. AND--take it easy after the birth. Do nothing at all for a week except for eat, sleep, bathe, and nurse the baby. Then for the rest of the first month, don't carry anything heavy or exert much energy (like no carrying laundry baskets, no carrying groceries, no long leisurely shopping trips, no housecleaning--woohoo!). It took three months for me to get my energy levels back to what they were when I was pregnant. Four to five months to that of what they were before I was pregnant. Recruit and accept help. Your body and soul will thank you.

Best wishes to you all,
Tresa