[glorified_rice]

This is probably going to be a little long to explain. My ds and I are currently staying with my mom and dad. We have been here for about twelve days after being evacuated from our home due to flooding. Dh is back at home and has been coming to visit on his days off. We are very close to my parents and ds has a great relationship with them however he has been very rude on and off towards my mom for no apparent reason. He will do things like give my dad a big hug, then ignore my mom and sort of look for her reaction. He is sometimes outright verbally mean too..saying things like "I don't want you to read to me. Only my mama can read to me." Things along those lines. I'm confused about it, but I'm trying not to make a big deal out of it, but I also want him to know that his rude behavior is not acceptable. I respect his autonomy regarding the hugs, but I feel like he's doing it to intentionally make my mom feel bad. He doesn't behave this way with anyone else, btw. Some days he seems to be much better and is very sweet to her, but it has been very unpredictable. DH thinks that he is just going through a phase and he's trying to exert his individuality, but he really is making my mom feel bad. The hug thing happened last night and she cried about it after we left. Any advice or insight into this would be greatly appreciated as I really don't know quite how to approach this.

 

[snoopy5386]

how much does he know about the flooding? Does he think this is just some sort of fun trip to Grandmas or does he know why you are really there?
He might just be really stressed and this is how he is dealing. His Dad is away, he can't go home, I am sure you are stressed and showing it. The examples you stated strike me as not being rude but instead verbalizing his choices. He is not telling grandma she is mean, or stinky or whatever, he is telling her he wants his mama to read to him. He is only 4, he doesn't have the nuances of polite conversation down. I think the best thing to do is to respect his choices and not make a big deal out of it. Something like "Ok, you want Mama to read to you right now" and that is the end of it.

 

[chfriend]

He might just be really stressed and this is how he is dealing. His Dad is away, he can't go home, I am sure you are stressed and showing it. QUOTE]

: I'd apologize to my mom, but make sure she understood it isn't personal, it's just that his world is turned upside down.

 

[glorified_rice]

Good points Nicole & chfriend.. Thanks

You're right, he doesn't have the nuances down yet and yes I think he is a bit confused as to why we are still here after such a long period of time, even though I have tried to explain it to him. I'm sure it seems strange. You're also right about him just stating his preferences. I'm probably making more out of it than I should because I know that it bothers my mom, but I guess how she reacts to it is up to her. I can't control how she feels.