[hillymum]

<p>    What would you do if you you were me. (I've already done what I'm going to do but want to know if I am under or over reacting or have done the right thing. This weekend is sbx's parenting weekend. (He gets eow) </p>
<p>   To make the weekend a bit better I packed some snacks for the boys as Daddy doesn't provide snacks which theylike. I want to help make the weekend as pleasurable and stress free as possible.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>     Sbxh pickes the boys up at 5pm Friday evening as normal. At 9:37pm ds#2 (10 yr old) texts asking me to call. he tells me ds's #1 and #3 want to go home. I talk to them and they settle down. Say good night and all is well. (As well as it can be with 3 over tired boys)</p>
<p>    At 8:08am ds#2 texts telling me he wants to come home and sbx hit him twice on his back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I broke the restraining order between sbx and myself, and called sbx. He stated it's my fault it happpened as ds#2 had asked me for a toy and I said no, so ds then asked sbx to buy it, was told no, and hurt sbx when he threw the laptop onto sbx's stomach. Sbxs response was to slap (slapping is not hitting according to sbx) ds#2  twice on his back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How would you react/ proceed from here?</p>
<p> </p>

 

[Avani]

<p>Document it for the custody case. I don't really know what else you could do because it is father's visitation time and slapping/hitting on the back doesn't sound bad enough(although yes I would consider that abusive)to get the police involved. If there are bruises or red marks could you ask one of the boys if there are any and to use the cell phone to take an immediate picture? If there are marks I would call and report it so you have further evidence. As far as breaking your restraining order, mine specifically states that my ex and I are allowed to communicate in regards to our kids. Yours doesn"t?</p>

 

[MissLotus]

<p>I agree with Avani's advice, and also wondered if when the boys called because they wanted to come home, was ex willing to let them?  If so, I would've let them.  I</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But your ex sounds impossible and smacking your boy is unacceptable, as well as the ridiculous claim that YOU were somehow responsible, indirectly, for that!</p>

 

[hillymum]

<p>The boys are still with their dad. I had about 4 more calls throughout the day but nothing too bad though it was heartbreaking hearing my youngest wanting to come home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>yesturday morning I called the Womens and Childrens Center for advice and was told quite bluntly that it was abuse and they were mandatory reporters so they would be calling CPS. I do feel guilty, thinking it's an over reaction, but I know what my sbx has done in the past and know that he has not listened to me telling him he can not use corporal punishment in any way or form. He just doesn't learn!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I know sbx is going to go off the deep end when CPS call him again, especially as he had a visit from them about 2 weeks ago (which I had nothing to do with or knowledge of).</p>

 

[doubledutch]

calling a professional for advice was a reasonable thing to do. i'm surprised (but glad) they are taking it seriously and reporting it. in my state, hitting your own child is only considered abuse (legally) if it causes injury, like bruising. things like pushing, pinching and slapping are apparently all okay, as long as you don't leave a mark. it's pretty crappy.<br><br>
it must have been hard to have your kids asking to come home and have to tell them no. <img alt="greensad.gif" class="bbcode_smiley" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/greensad.gif">