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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My 20 yr. old cat disappeared this past Tuesday morning and we haven't seen him since. He was very old, senile, skinny, and required 2x daily medication for his thyroid. I finally made up my mind that he left us to go and die somewhere and just cried and cried last night and this morning. I just feel like such a "bad Mom" because I don't know where he went or what happened to him and because I wasn't able to be there for him in the end, like I have with my other pets.<br><br>
On top of this, my 2y.o. has an ear infection (which is draining out of her tubes). She says her ear doesn't hurt, she sleeping, eating, and playing normally, and doesn't have a fever, so I haven't taken her to the dr. So, I'm having some Mommy-guilt about this too and I'm concerned it will get worse, but I don't want to jump-the-gun with going to the dr. (and exposing us to all sorts of other germs).<br><br>
Today I am 40+4 and I'm so worried that all this emotional turmoil will get in the way of labor starting soon. Any advice on how to get past all this? I'm just at a loss for what to do. I have a u/s and NST scheduled for this coming Wednesday and I know we will have to talk about the i-word if I haven't had the baby by then.
 

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I'm sorry. :-( Losing a pet is really hard. I'm still struggling with having had my cat Grendel put to sleep early in this pregnancy--most of the time I'm okay, but there have been moments in the past month or two where I've cried because I'm sad that my child will never get to know Grendel, messy flatulent little shedding furball that he was. I hope it's a comfort for you that your cat may have chosen to go on his own terms and that he's not suffering anymore. It sounds like you've been giving yourself emotional "permission" to sob it all out, which is a good thing. I think trying to bottle this up and hold it inside would be more likely to impede labor that trying to process through it and giving yourself a chance to let it hurt as much as you need it to.<br><br>
If I were in your situation (keep in mind that I don't have a kid yet, so this is a stretch), I think I'd prefer to take my kid in to have her ear looked at now rather than waiting. I'd be more concerned about her ear getting worse when I was in labor or just a day or two postpartum, when I'd be much less able to take her to the doctor. That would stress me out--and I can see that worry impeding labor as well. Then again, this may be a moot point if you have family or close friends nearby who could take your daughter to the doctor for you if you couldn't go yourself.
 

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I hate to worry or upset you even more, but I went through such a hard time with my son's ears (who also had tubes). I also assumed that draining through tubes was ok. When we did finally take him in (he had no fever, or pain either) they said there was a hole and massive scar tissue and his hearing in that ear was affected. Then we had to deal with "experts" and multiple hearing tests, etc. I would just take your dd in, just in case. I felt so bad afterwards, for ignoring the problem while it could've been fixed. Best of luck to you though. I can imagine it must be hard to be so pregnant and dealing with all that.
 

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Well, I decided to call the dr. about DD's ear and just see what they say. I'm waiting on a call-back right now.<br><br>
Thanks for the sympathy about my dear kitty, Sam. He was a "senior cat" when I adopted him 10 years ago and I truely never expected him to live to the ripe old age of 20, but it's still quite a blow to not have him in our family anymore. Just writing all this down has really helped me feel a little calmer though.
 

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Most of my cats that have died have gone off to do it in peace. It's just the way they are, I think. Don't feel bad about that.<br><br>
I hope everything is alright with your DD.<br><br>
I am worried emotions will get in the way of labor starting, too. I am only 38 weeks, but I am so incredibly stressed out (and NOT ready, work wise or home wise for the baby to come) and I am worried that all this stress will prevent labor OR create a negative environment for my babe, in the womb, or out of it.
 

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I completely understand where you are coming from. The week before I had Lane, our JRT got away from us and was run over and killed. We are the types of folks where our pets are family. I was overwhelmed with grief and cried for days. Heck, I am tearing up now thinking about it. I had to make a conscious decision to focus on the joyful new addition that we were expecting. It sounds dumb but I talked to Lane about Cally and it helped me deal with it. I promised him that we would get another special little dog for him to grow up with.<br><br>
Stay positive!
 

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I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am a cat lover, and have lost many a cat in my life. However...I firmly believe that cats know what they have to do, no matter their age or condition. No matter how well trained or even if they are indoor-only. They are still animals, and they still have their own animal rituals they need to do. So that said, I think your beloved kitty went to do his own ritual, and you need to do yours. And just know you will be reunited in spirit when the time is right, maybe even just in a dream after your birth.<br><br>
Good luck, and peace mama.
 
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