[amethystrse]

Hello everyone. I've read through some of the advice you've given other mommas and it sounds so good I thought I would try and post about my "problem".

When my son was born I wanted to breast feed so bad. But, I had so many problems. The nurse at the hospital gave my son a binky after I told them I was against them. They did it because I didn't make it in time to feed him (I was a few min late) and he was crying (he was in the NICU for a few days because of a virus).

Ever since then he would suck so hard that it hurt. The ped insisted he wasn't getting anything because I had colustrum and that didn't have enough nutrition. I told him what I thought of that (that it was total bull) but he had the nurse give my son a glucose IV anyway which made him not want to eat.

When he would eat he would suck so hard. The LC said she had never seen anything like it before. I swear it's because of the pacifier. By the time my son was 3 days old I had blood blisters on my nipples.

Anyways, I remember that it was sooo painful I couldn't handle it. I would flinch every time my son would suck. I couldn't even pump, though I tried, because that was even more painful. We bought formula and I planned to use it only for a day so I could at least heal a little bit.

My son refused me after that. I called the LC and she "didn't have the time to deal" with our problems. No one else I knew had bfed before and so I felt very alone. I wound up giving up and giving him formula. He was refusing me. Flat out.

I didn't know about support groups or LLL then. I do plan on joining the LLL here. I'm pregnant with my second child and I want to try to bf again. But, I'm so afraid. I know that the majority of my problems were because of the hospital (one more reason I'm having the baby at home) and probably because I was a little dehydrated.

I plan on avoiding the "mistakes" of last time. But, I'm so afraid it's going to be painful and that I'll have blood blisters. I remember it felt like someone was stabbing my boob with every suck. I don't want to fail again. I plan to join LLL for support and I also thought I would ask for some on here.

Is there any advice you can give me?

 

[alegna]

Good move to avoid the hospital this time

I swear they cause more problems than they solve.

We also had latch problems in the beginning- though Savannah has never had anything but boob (and a pinky once or twice) in her mouth. She just has a little mouth (and maybe a high palate.) Like you, we had a rough start because of that- I had blood blisters too- I feel ya on that one. (and cracked nipples and a huge tear on one side...) BUT, the good news- it got better. After a week she wasn't doing any major new damage. After two I didn't curl my toes when she latched on. After three weeks nursing was often pain free. Now at 4 months, we're going strong with no problems at all.

You can do it. Follow your instincts and just keep at it.

good luck,

-Angela

 

[Quirky]

Shame on your nurses, your ped, and your LC! They really let you down. I am very sorry breastfeeding didn't work out for you and your son.

This time around, I would suggest a) reading, reading, reading. Your library may have books on breastfeeding you can borrow (make sure you check inter-library loan). A couple of really good ones are: The Nursing Mother's Companion by Kathleen Huggins, The Ultimate Book of Breastfeeding Answers by Dr. Jack Newman, and the Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by the LLL. I also really like The Nursing Mother's Problem Solver by Claire Martin. The more information you have up front the better equipped you are. Also check out www.kellymom.com - this is a priceless resource - and free! Packed full of great information.

b) I think you're really smart to join LLL and get in-person support from the leaders and other experienced mothers who will be able to help you through the tough times next time around.

c) I would look for a real LC in your area (IBCLC certified) through www.ilca.org to have someone lined up at the first sign of trouble. You can interview them on the phone to find someone you click with who will treat you with respect and give you the help you need. Although LCs charge for their services, obviously it's a lot cheaper than formula!

d) Come here for support! I had huge problems breastfeeding my first and I don't know that we would have made it if not for these boards. You can come post questions and concerns at any time.

e) If you feel it would be helpful to talk about what happened with your son with women who also had breastfeeding issues, check out http://www.internetbabies.com/mobi/ - MOBI is for Mothers Overcoming Breastfeeding Issues.

Good luck, mama!

 

[Thmom]

I would suggest finding a LLL group in your area and get involved now. You don't have to be nursing to go to LLL they are welcoming of anyone who wants to learn more about nursing. I'm sure with education (to identify latch issues) and a good support group you'll do great!

 

[leafwood]

I am so happy that you are seeking support now! We had a rough time at first. My dd had an intense suck....they told me she was sucking her thumb in the womb...so she had lots of practice. I remember crying so hard eery time she latched on even though it was a good latch. But, with support and education I was able to find my way through it. It wasn't as easy as fast for us. We took a good 8 weeks to feel comfortable and then had yeast and just really settled into a groove around 3 months. Now, at almost 8 months, it is a breeze. I would have never believed it if you told me we'd be this good at bf when I was struggling in the beginning. This forum saved us more than once, so check in frequently. It helps.

Good luck!

 

[amethystrse]

You guys are all so beautiful. Thank you so much for the advice. I sent an e-mail to the LLL leader in my area and I'm waiting to hear back from her. I can't afford to see an LC (we're barely making ends meet) otherwise I would be more than willing to interview some.

Quirky, I'll be sure to check out those sites! And the books. I'm planning on going to the library on Friday anyways. What do you mean by "inter-library loan"? I've never heard of that before.

Angela, you make me wish I had just waited two more weeks with my ds. I'll be sure to keep that in mind when I BF my dd if we run into similar problems.

I don't think I can say enough how much I wish I did the research with my son that I've done this time. lol It seems like I'm constantly finding out things I wish I knew then. While I cannot change the past, however, I can plan for the future. Thanks for helping me!

 

[Quirky]

Inter-library loan just means your library borrows the book from another library and then lends it to you - takes longer to get to you but that way they don't have to stock every book there is.

One thing you might think about, you ds will only be a year or so old when your dd is born, right? You could pump milk and give it to him. He would definitely benefit from it if he'll drink it!

 

[wombat]

Great advice above. I just wanted to add - this new baby will have its own unique nursing style. Just like each pregnancy is different, so is each nursling. I used to go to a playgroup where all the moms nursed and I was amazed how different each baby was with nursing. The new baby might just be one of those 'easy' babys to nurse.

 

[mama24-7]

I 2nd or 3rd, going to LLL now. ANd, you can still interview some LC's even if you don't think you'll use them when #2 comes. You might also be able to ask them if they work on a sliding scale for people who need it. I know that in my area, there is a BF resource center that has LC's on staff and they work on a sliding scale. LC's are covered by some insurance carriers also. And even if the insurance says they are not covered, w/ some work and the LC's help, you may be able to get some reimbursment.

Good luck and congrats on the new one. Education is a huge step in the right direction.

Sus

 

[alegna]

One thing to add- ban ALL bottles, pacifiers and formula from your house. I was SO determined to make it work, yet there were days that if I'd had formula I would have used it (or a pump and bottles...) and it would have slowed the whole getting-better process down. If you end up really needing anything, you can get it then, but in the time it takes to get it you can work out the problem (or nurse once more with gritted teeth.)

-Angela

 

[Viola]

Quote:

Originally Posted by amethystrse I plan on avoiding the "mistakes" of last time. But, I'm so afraid it's going to be painful and that I'll have blood blisters. I remember it felt like someone was stabbing my boob with every suck. I don't want to fail again. I plan to join LLL for support and I also thought I would ask for some on here. Is there any advice you can give me?

I just wanted to chime in with my experience. My first daughter was a clencher and sucked really hard (we called her a little barracuda). I got the cracked and bleeding nipples, and she would clamp down sometimes and I got nipple damage from that--a little milk blister that filled with blood. This happened when she was about 6 months old. It took until she was about 8 or 8 months old to where I could nurse her and she wouldn't crease my nipple with her clamping and it was pain free. I was worried that this might happen with the second, but I had almost the opposite problem--she didn't want to latch. When she did, it was like I could barely feel it.

You just never know what kind of nurser your second baby will be, but there is a good chance that your next will have a different sucking pattern that won't be so hard. I would say definitely go to LLL while you're pregnant and talk to a leader about your problems with your first baby. There are things you can do when you have a baby with a clamping bite and the leaders can help with that if that situation arises.

 

[amethystrse]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Quirky One thing you might think about, you ds will only be a year or so old when your dd is born, right?

OMG!!! Thank you so much for pointing that out. I can't believe I made that mistake. lol Actually, he's going to be 4, not 1. lol Sorry about that. Though, a friend of mine did suggest pumping milk for him because cow's milk constipates him (really bad too) and he won't drink any alternative milks (aka. almond milk, soy milk, etc)

Quote:

Originally Posted by wombat Great advice above. I just wanted to add - this new baby will have its own unique nursing style. Just like each pregnancy is different, so is each nursling. I used to go to a playgroup where all the moms nursed and I was amazed how different each baby was with nursing. The new baby might just be one of those 'easy' babys to nurse.

Thanks for the tip hon. I actually never thought about it like that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mama24-7 I 2nd or 3rd, going to LLL now. ANd, you can still interview some LC's even if you don't think you'll use them when #2 comes. You might also be able to ask them if they work on a sliding scale for people who need it. I know that in my area, there is a BF resource center that has LC's on staff and they work on a sliding scale. LC's are covered by some insurance carriers also. And even if the insurance says they are not covered, w/ some work and the LC's help, you may be able to get some reimbursment.

Well, I have military insurance and the LC I saw with Orion was through the military. They'll only pay for me to see one of their people and to be honest I don't trust them. As for a sliding scale...well unless it was like next to nothing (literally) then I can't afford it. We didn't plan this pregnancy because of our financial situation atm. We actually were going to wait another two years. But, you're never given more than you can handle. So, we're making due. lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna One thing to add- ban ALL bottles, pacifiers and formula from your house. I was SO determined to make it work, yet there were days that if I'd had formula I would have used it (or a pump and bottles...) and it would have slowed the whole getting-better process down. If you end up really needing anything, you can get it then, but in the time it takes to get it you can work out the problem (or nurse once more with gritted teeth.)

Well, we've never had a pacifier in our home. We were given one but I just gave it to a neighbor who I saw using them. I have no idea what happened to the bottles from when Orion was using them. I think I gave those away too.

We actually do have one thing really going for us. We're totally broke. So, no matter what, we couldn't afford formula again. lol It's sort of become a blessing in disguise lately. I've noticed that since we have no money (barely make it from paycheck to paycheck) I've been learning to live more naturally and it's been so good both physically and spiritually.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amywillo You just never know what kind of nurser your second baby will be, but there is a good chance that your next will have a different sucking pattern that won't be so hard.

*hugs* Thanks hon. I hope she'll be easier. Even still, I'm going to start going to LLL meetings as soon as the leader I wrote gets back to me.

*big big hugs* Thank you everyone for your kind comments!

 

[Mizelenius]

Jessie, I feel for you!

Like some of the other mamas here, DD and I also had a very rough start. DD had a teeny tiny mouth and a bad latch. I didn't know that at first . . . I kept trying to fix how I was holding her instead of looking at how her mouth was. Even though we had a lactation consultant (we paid for one-- $125-- figuring it would be far cheaper than formula) she didn't articulate the problem to me. Thankfully, we had a fabulous pediatrician at the time who made me BF in front of her when I reported the problem, and SHE was the one who helped.

Anyway, the pain was so, so bad that I wanted to cry. It was improved after we started working on the latch, but still bad. It wasn't just for the initial latch on, but for the entire 45+ min. nursing session (in the beginning, I didn't know about latching DD off until we got it right). Tha pain was completely gone in 2 MONTHS, not 2 weeks as I kept hoping. LLL said it was because DD had a small mouth.

I'm not writing this to scare you, though, even though it sounds bad. I am hoping to encourage you because, after all that, we kept on nursing successfully for over 2 years. I am very happy that I stuck with it, and I KNOW you will, too.

One site that I absolutely loved was http://www.breastfeeding.com/ and specifically the video clips: http://www.breastfeeding.com/helpme/helpme_video.html
I would suggest you start watching them before the birth . . .I wish I had watched them BEFORE I had a problem.

Keep us posted!!

 

[amethystrse]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizelenius One site that I absolutely loved was http://www.breastfeeding.com/ and specifically the video clips: http://www.breastfeeding.com/helpme/helpme_video.html I would suggest you start watching them before the birth . . .I wish I had watched them BEFORE I had a problem.

*hugs* Thank you so much for the links. I'll watch the video asap.

I'm still nervous but I know I can get through it.

I remember when it wasn't hurting I loved to BF. I loved how close I felt to my son and well, the whole feel of it.

 

[Benji'sMom]

I just wanted to offer moral support - I really hope it works out for you this time!

 

[amethystrse]

After watching those videos I can see exactly what I was doing wrong with Orion. Funny thing, the LC had me doing it wrong too. When she had put him on my breast it was fine. But, she never really showed me how to do it properly. Orion never latched on properly which is probably why he refused me and why I had so many problems.

Thank you everyone for your support! I'm feeling so much more confident and sure of myself. I'm a little afraid but not as much as I was before. It's more a "what if" fear and not going to get in the way.

*hugs to all*

 

[Ruthla]

I just want to give you some

s and point out one more thing: if there is a medical need to supplement, it can be done without bottles (finger feeder, dropper, spoon, etc.) I've heard of many cases where the mom is pumping and the baby is getting the milk (through a bottle ALTERNATIVE) for a little while before getting breastfeeding going. I've also heard of cases where the baby gets formula for a few days (again, through a bottle alternative) until the mom gets her supply back up from pumping. It's certainly more work than nursing directly, but when there are problems, there ARE ways to handle them without disrupting the nursing relationship.

Honestly, just having the home birth will likely ensure a good nursing experience. No mother-baby separation, no IVs or artificial nipples, nobody freaking out when the baby's weight drops a little- just mom and baby getting to know each other and learning how to breastfeed.

Good luck and congrats on your upcoming addition to the family!

 

[thismama]

I just wanted to add my encouragement about going to LLL. I went to several meetings while pregnant, and tho everyone was really welcoming I felt a little silly because everyone else had babes except me. But it was invaluable to see women nursing and hear the questions people had. And then when my dd was born, one of the leaders called right away to check how things were going, and I felt way more comfortable asking questions because I already knew her.

ALso think it's great you are having a home birth. I planned one and got transferred to the hospital. The secret there for me was keeping a constant eye on my babe so noone gave a bottle, and getting the hell out quickly!

All the best to you and your babe!

 

[amethystrse]

Thanks guys. I plan to go to the LLL meeting this month and can't wait. I watched the videos on one of the breastfeeding sites and I feel more confident. I'm so glad to have so much support this time!

 

[eclipse]

hey jessie - fellow SD mama here! i'm sure i'll meet you next week at the playgroup, but i thought i'd respond anyhow. first, let me say that i had a very similar experience with my now almost 4 year old - he started life in the NICU, they wouldn't "let" me nurse in the begining - then i missed the first feeding because my epidural was taking way too long to wear off and they wouldn't let me go to the NICU to feed him, then they were supposed to wake me up for the next two feedings, but they gave him bottles instead - the first time i was able to feed him, it was the middle of the night, more than 12 hours after birth, not having pumped, and no one showed me how to do it right. i ended up with low supply, blisters, cracked nipples, thrush - the whole 9 yards. i really don't think i would have made it through without the support of my family and a whole lot of research. fast foward 2.5 years to dds birth and everything was so much smoother - i had a doula who helped me, i finally had mommy friends who had BTDT that i could ask for help, etc.

sooooo. . .come meet us and you'll have us

. also, there is a very good LC that i know who always has time to help. she has a little office in the Hillcrest area and has free breastfeeding support groups three days a week. she and her assistant (who was my doula) go around and give everyone the help they need, answer questions, offer support, etc. if you have a really serious problem, they'll suggest a private consult - but they are very open and free with their advice. you can also weigh your baby for free there. even though i didn't need much help the second time around, it was great to be able to go and talk to other BFing moms with newborns. so, as you get closer to delivery, remind me and i'll pass on the phone number and support group schedule.

(((hugs)))