Age at which self-weaning tends to occur for extended nursers?

1364 Views 13 Replies 14 Participants Last post by ChinaDoll, Apr 19, 2006

ThinkBlu

Discussion Starter · Apr 10, 2006

Not sure this is right place to post...no flames please.

I am wondering if anyone can tell me at what age extended nursers tend to wean, and what types of things tend to trigger weaning. I entered BFing with the intent of allowing self weaning, but a part of me feels like it would be in everyone's best interest to end the nursing now. DS1 is 50 months and I'm sure that his nursing is strictly 'comfort nursing' and that I am no longer producing...he nurses only at bed time/nap time and rarely on waking. He has always been a comfort nurser. (FWIW, DS2 - a strictly 'functional nurser' weaned about a year ago shortly after his first birthday...far too soon!) For a long time DS1 was pretty 'discreet' about it, but lately he has become quite vocal. I can handle the snide looks and remarks, but he seems to be oblivious to the fact that this is a topic many are not comfortable with. He will be starting preschool soon, and I am getting worried that this, combined with his precocious ways will have him ostracized by his class mates, something which I think can have very lasting and detrimental effects.

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jillmamma

· #2 · Apr 11, 2006

Can't tell you the answer, as I am still nursing both my kids, but am also interested to hear. Isn't it amazing how 2 kids from the same parents can be SO different?

DS has always been a major comfort nurser, woke up several times a night till 21 months to nurse, had to nurse to sleep till close to age 2, and nursed a LOT till he was past 2 (I think me getting pg again helped him to cut down some). Only recently since he was 3 has he cut down to twice a day. DD is only 7 months, either sleeps all night or only wakes once to nurse and will go right back to sleep on her own (with the help of the thumb), has been going to sleep on her own since birth, and now only is nursing about 6 times a day, which is WAY less than her brother. If I offer more, she does not always WANT it!

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doula mary

· #3 · Apr 11, 2006

The global age of weaning is 4 years and 9 months.

Nursing is a relationship...requiring two people, if you are uncomfortable nursing wean him gently..he is a LUCKY boy as to nurse as long as he has!

Don't worry about preschool, I was nursing a kindergartener...I know kids who are nursing once or twice a month at 6 and 7.

Can you talk to him about it?
Mary

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flminivanmama

· #4 · Apr 11, 2006

with absolutely no suggestions about weaning or discussions of it but occasionally limited nursing my two extended nursers weaned at 4 years 1 month & 1 week and 2 years 11 months

the one who was 4 nursed a handful of times before preschool (maybe 3?) but we were not the only ones - there was at least one other mom nursing her son too. we got no looks or anything.

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Meiri

· #5 · Apr 11, 2006

The biological natural age range for weaning is anywhere between 2 and 7 years. As far as I can tell from mine, maturity triggers the weaning. They simply outgrow that particular need.

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katallen

· #6 · Apr 13, 2006

If you and your son are comfortable nursing still then I wouldn't worry about continuing. You may want to sit him down and explain to him that some people aren't comfortable with nursing and that it is something to talk about and do at home and not at school. I have noticed that when the teacher's think you are wierd for doing something (such as extended nursing, GD, etc...) they will treat your child accordingly unless your child is very cute and doesn't act in any way like they would think a child getting a strange treatment would act. If you are still comfortable nursing him than continue for as long as you are comfortable, otherwise I would gently wean him off. But if he is nursing while his younger sibling is weaned I would think that there is still some need that is being met by nursing and that you will need to help him find other ways to get that need met if you do decide to wean.

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IncaMama

· #7 · Apr 16, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by jillmamma
Isn't it amazing how 2 kids from the same parents can be SO different?

have you been spying on me?? LMAO!! this is my situation EXACTLY. if i were to sleep in the same bed as DH and DS (i can't bc of my back), 3yo DS would nurse all night. he nurses a gajillion times a day, for comfort. he nursed straight through my pg with DD even when i had no milk.

DD, now 4mos has been sleeping through the night for months now...only wakes once usually (at around 4am)...pops herself off the boob when she's drifting off to sleep...doesn't comfort nurse. if she ain't hungry, it's like she's saying "get that thing AWAY from me!!" LOL!!!!

so interesting...

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Marsupialmom

· #8 · Apr 16, 2006

My son nursed until 27 months, first child.

My second child nursed until shortly after her forth birthday. I remember her last "nursing". She came up to me and asked to nurse. I sat down to nurse her. She put her lips to my breast, pulls back and says "You do love me." and that was that.

My third weaned between 2.5 and 3 years. It was more of an oh, I haven't nursed her in a while momment.

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callmemama

· #9 · Apr 16, 2006

All children are so individual, you really can't pick a universal age. My ds self-weaned a couple of months before his 6th birthday. However, he was only nursing once every few weeks from his 5th birthday on. I assumed he needed to nurse, for whatever reason, and let him.

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Kim22

· #10 · Apr 17, 2006

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marsupialmom
My second child nursed until shortly after her forth birthday. I remember her last "nursing". She came up to me and asked to nurse. I sat down to nurse her. She put her lips to my breast, pulls back and says "You do love me." and that was that.

That's so sweet!

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luckylady

· #11 · Apr 17, 2006

My DD self weaned at 35 months, then asked to nurse like 3 weeks later and I said no - the milk was all gone now. I was just done with nursing (she was a very very attached nurser and I was the human pacifier - it was NOT fun), and she was fine with that.

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brown eyed girls

· #12 · Apr 17, 2006

I had one that I gently spoke "weaning suggestions" to him starting at about 3 1/2. I'd just mention that one day we'd be done... we'd have a weaning party.... he'd be all done and wouldn't need it. But in the meantime, I did "Don't ask, don't refuse." I thought several times he'd weaned... 12 days here, 6 weeks there... but then he'd ask again and my "rule" was "don't refuse." I was still making milk-- He was tandeming with my toddler.

Anyhow, he nursed on his 4th birthday... and I remember the last time was Thanksgiving weekend. He was not quite 52 months old. I was now pg again, and starting to have real nipple pain when nursing the kids. I just told him one night, "I have loved nursing you, but now that mommy has a little baby growing in her again, it hurts my milkies when you nurse." He looked at me and said "it's ok mommy, I'm really done now."

Sadly, it was only a month later that his sister stopped asking too. I had been trying to tolerate the pain for her sake, since she just turned 2 on Dec. 21, but I was having to hide a gasp and even unlatch her after only 30-60 seconds of intense pain. And my milk completely dried up by her birthday. So she just quit... I think in some ways, she saw nursing as something she did WITH her brother, and when he weaned, she didn't need it anymore either. So she only nursed 24 months.

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lena_girl

· #13 · Apr 17, 2006

I weaned my 1st (and regreted doing so) but let my 2nd self wean. She weaned much earlier than I expected at 19 months, but I became pregnant and she started sleeping through the night in a seperate bed. She grew restless in our bed at night and was happier in her own space. I let her do it herself and I feel good about it even though I expected her to go longer.

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ChinaDoll

· #14 · Apr 19, 2006

Emily was 40 months; after age 3, she was only nursing once or twice a day. Then she had been going a week to 10 days in between nursing sessions, and finally, she just forgot how to latch. Her last few nursing "sessions," she'd ask, I'd agree, give her the breast, and she'd put her mouth there, not sure how to latch. The very last time, I said, "You know, you don't have to nurse. You can if you want, but if you want to stop, that's ok, too." and she never asked again! Very peaceful!

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