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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm wondering about this.

My daughter will be 5 next June 21st. We'd really like to send her to a private school nearby, but it can be very hard to get in for kindergarten. There's just a lot of people applying for only 15 spots.

That said, it is easier to get into the same school for Pre-K.

We have not done any regular preschool to date, so a 9-3, 5 day a week kindergarten sounds like a lot anyway. It's a child-led curriculum for kindy, but it's still a lot. My daughter is quite bright and socially adept, but I don't want to push her too far too fast. For Pre-K we could do half day or full.

If we did pre-K next year she would be 5 for all of pre-K and 6 for all of K. Since it's a private school, and they claim to be all about teaching to the individual child, I don't imagine she'd be too bored. She'd just be one of the most mature in the class.

Am I crazy to consider "holding her back"? If it's a choice between a school we really like and waiting a year or going to a school we like less, I wonder if I'd rather "wait." I'm not even sure if it's a "wait" since dd didn't feel ready to do school this year (even preschool.)

Anyway- anyone have any opinions? I tend to feel "better late than early" for academics, but people always worry that a child will be bored. I'd worry about boredom more in a public school setting, though.

Also, if she starts at 6, she'll be 18, just about to turn 19 wehen she graduates from HS. I think graduating HS at 17 (even if she's almost 18) sounds young. Finally- she can always skip a grade later if she really wants. She has to change schools for Jr High and HS anyway.

Looking forward to hearing opinions...

Thanks!
 

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I "held back" my oldest- putting her in preschool at *almost 5* instead of kindy at *almost 5.* Last year she did 5th grade for half the year and 6th for the second half, and is now in 7th grade. It was truly no big deal. Last year she was ready to move up, at age 5 she wasn't.

DS just started kindy this September, and he just turned 5 last week. He WAS ready for kindy at *almost 5* so I put him in the most appropriate class.
 

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My son turned 5 in early August and started Pre-K at a also hard to get into private school. I could have "pushed" to get him to K but chose not to and don't regret it at all.

He is in classes with just turned 4 to 5+ year old and is flourishing! He loves it and the teachers are great. This is is his first structured classroom environment. Before that was a very laid back artsy preschool that was 3 days a week. K would have been way to much for him socially. I know he could do the academic work but he was not ready for being w/ 5-6 1/2 year olds who had all ready done pre-k and were more familiar w/ circle time, standing in line, waiting your turn, KWIM?

This is a very one on one type school so I have no fear of him being bored as he moves up the ranks. I also have no idea where we will be come high school so I am not worried about that yet
plus I was a very mature 17 yo when I graduated and my brother was a very immature 18 year old so who knows right??

Lastly *I* think it is easier for a good school and/or teacher to challenge a bored student. So I would rather deal with that later on. But again I am not crossing that bridge quite yet!
 

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Can you apply for both the pre-K and the K and see if she even gets into both grades? If she only gets into pre-K and you have your heart set on this school, then you don't really have much of a choice to make.

That said, my bigger concern than a bored child with the child being the oldest in class is a child who is out of synch with her peers. We started my dds in K when they were about to turn 5 not only b/c we felt that they were academically ready, but also b/c it was where they belonged socially (or at least better than having them wait another year). My older dd turned 8 at the end of August and she's currently in 3rd grade and would actually do much better in 4th or even 5th socially, but since she's already young for grade, the best compromise we've gotten is sending her to 4th for part of the day in her stronger subjects. She gets along much better with the kids in those classes even in that short period of time. She is an "old soul" though and really has a hard time fitting in in general.

I'd be more inclined to make your decision based off of what you think is better for your child socially than academically (unless one choice is obviously really the wrong one in regard to academics).
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ChristaN View Post
Can you apply for both the pre-K and the K and see if she even gets into both grades? If she only gets into pre-K and you have your heart set on this school, then you don't really have much of a choice to make.

That said, my bigger concern than a bored child with the child being the oldest in class is a child who is out of synch with her peers. We started my dds in K when they were about to turn 5 not only b/c we felt that they were academically ready, but also b/c it was where they belonged socially (or at least better than having them wait another year). My older dd turned 8 at the end of August and she's currently in 3rd grade and would actually do much better in 4th or even 5th socially, but since she's already young for grade, the best compromise we've gotten is sending her to 4th for part of the day in her stronger subjects. She gets along much better with the kids in those classes even in that short period of time. She is an "old soul" though and really has a hard time fitting in in general.

I'd be more inclined to make your decision based off of what you think is better for your child socially than academically (unless one choice is obviously really the wrong one in regard to academics).
I may apply to both. I'll ask the administrator when I take the tour.

As for what age she gets along with- she gets along best with kids who are exactly her age. She has some friends who are five, though, and enjoys them as well. She doesn't like playing with three year olds, though.

The thing is- she's in an art class with 3 and 4 year olds and she is the oldest and really likes it. She tried out the 4-5 year old class last year when she was almost 4, and it was too much for her. Granted, then she was the youngest- of we tried again now she'd be OK.

She seems to like the extra caring and gentleness of teachers dealing with the younger kids. She's very sensitive. I wouldn't like her ot feel surrounded by "babies", but she likes to be babied a bit by teachers. If it was a choice between seeing her treated like a younger child or an older one, I'd go with younger.
 

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It so depends on the child. DS will be 5 on Thanksgiving and we chose to do a second year of pre-k and send him to kindy next year, even though the cut off in NY is Dec. 1st. We are very pleased with our decision so far.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I'm SO psyched because I've got a lead on another school locally that is K-5 but very emergent and child focused. Thir kindergarten is "for five year olds"- and they basically do play and crafts and learn about stuff like animals and greek gods, etc. They don't even start academics till first grade, but te play is multi-age. It sounds perfect for us. Plus it's a small school and catered to the individual child- AND it's a lot cheaper than the school we were considering.

I will probably apply to a few because you're never sure to get into anyplace around here, but I'm glad some friends turned us on to this place.

What a great middle of the road choice!
 

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I'm also having a hard time with this decision. I thought I would homeschool but am finding that it's just not for us. My daughter who will turn 5 in a few weeks is constantly saying she's bored and is missing having kids to play with. She loves to do workbooks and I have found also loves to listen to a class. In my city there are many resources for homeschooling etc, but still, it's just not enough activity for her. I am also finding I have NO time to do my work (I am a musician and work part time from home).

Anyhow, this has made me decide that perhaps I should put her in school. I also don't see how I can fill her day with things to do without completely losing my marbles.

I found a really good french school with small class sizes etc... and sent off the application to start her in January. But am so worried that she'll find it really hard adjusting to full days, it's 9-3:30 every day.
 

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My kids have all started kinder at different ages. I went by each child and how ready I thought they were when the time got close. My youngest is 4 1/2 right now and will be 5 before the end of this school year. I'm planning on kinder for her next fall. I don't want her behind as far as age if I hold her back a year since her birthday is so early in the year. If I hold her back next year then she would be 7 before starting 1st grade and I feel that she would be much older than other kids in the class. She attends preschool this year for 5 hours/5 days a week and loves it.

Have you considered putting your child in a half day preschool for the remainder of this year? You could choose how many days per week you want her to go. Atleast that might help her to get used to the routine of school each day.
 

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I will repeat that it completely depends on the child. My son was still four when he started K, birthday in October. He is now in first grade, and it is so clear that we made the right decision, hard as it was to make at the time. Most people believe in holding boys back, but I was just not seeing it for my son. You know best.

L.
 
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