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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We have been with our son all week and now the agency is not letting us see baby. Anyone else dealt with this before?
 

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Whaaattt??? Why?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
This agency is horrible! They knew not all the dots were crossed and "I's" dotted but wanted us out there ASAP since baby was born early and was willing to make that exception. Now they are changing their tune and refuse to let me see him and saying it will be like "three weeks"! I have no idea if there is anything I can do or not??? They are now saying it's the "state laws"!!!!!
 

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Get a lawyer!<br><br>
If you already have one, either fire him/her or light fires daily!
 

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I'm sorry, I don't know the exact details of your story -- is birthfamily changing their minds maybe?<br><br>
sorry you're going through this, and major hugs!!! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Sorry I can't post much here on a public board but no she (birthmother) is not changing her mind. It's the agency that was okay last week that we were waiting on one thing to be finished and now they aren't all of the sudden! It's all the agency doing this, we have been having issues all along with them though! I think it's a power trip thing! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">
 

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Get a lawyer who will threaten the agency w/ "interfering with the bonding process." Seriously, if he is only "not yours" yet b/c he is in the hospital, hire professional help!<br><br>
Let us know how it goes!!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>dogretro</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14678023"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Get a lawyer who will threaten the agency w/ "interfering with the bonding process." Seriously, if he is only "not yours" yet b/c he is in the hospital, hire professional help!<br><br>
Let us know how it goes!!!</div>
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The last time I called an attorney about a question they were trying to do everyone got in a total uproar! This whole thing has been a huge mess from the beginning! I wish I didn't love my birthmother! She is the best that anyone could ever ask for! I just don't want to end up losing all our money!!!!!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/praying.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="praying"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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I really doubt that they actually have the power to do that -- if the mother of the baby wants you to have access to the baby, then you should -- can you talk directly to hospital staff about it? Did the mother sign something that gave the adoption agency control over the child?<br><br>
I only asked about birthfamily changing their mind because that's the only reason I could think of that they could legitimately not let you see the baby. If that's not the case, they're way out of line -- it's not their baby, it's the mother's baby, and it's up to her who can see the baby. Is she still in the hospital? I'm so sorry this is happening, and hope it gets resolved quickly. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">
 

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While I TOTALLY understand not wanting to rock the boat too much at this very fragile time...<br><br>
Please PLEASE tell me that you will call your state's AG and DHS and report this agency's behavior as soon as you can. Many times unethical agencies are able to operate under the radar for long periods of time because no one reports them--they are too intimidated/stressed/embarassed even after their adoptions are final.<br><br>
But this sort of behavior MUST be reported to protect all people in the triad. If they are willing to lie and threaten and intimidate you, the AP, I can only imagine what they have probably done to other EM's in the past. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I would complain to the hospital as well -- the mother of the child has full and total power over her baby, and if she wants that passed on to you (in the form of visitation, not legal or medical stuff), she is well within her rights to do that, as long as either of them is still in the hospital -- wait, is the baby still in the hospital? I think hospitals sometimes don't know how to handle adoptions, and they might defer to the agency when they really shouldn't...
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>tiffani</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14679066"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would complain to the hospital as well -- the mother of the child has full and total power over her baby, and if she wants that passed on to you (in the form of visitation, not legal or medical stuff), she is well within her rights to do that, as long as either of them is still in the hospital -- wait, is the baby still in the hospital? I think hospitals sometimes don't know how to handle adoptions, and they might defer to the agency when they really shouldn't...</div>
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Baby is in the NICU and she goes to court tomorrow. So who has rights to the baby she does or the agency? She has been released.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Also how do I find out the ICPC laws for the two states? Ours and where baby is? It just does not seem right and I don't trust this agency!
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
She will relinquish her rights tomorrow in court but I don't think placement can happen until baby is released. I'm worried about the agency trying to pull something as well!
 

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Are you going to court with her? Tell the judge about your desire to have unlimited access to the baby while it is in the ICU. The baby needs a consistent caregiver that is not a medical person. The baby needs to be held and loved by someone that is not doing painful procedures to it.<br><br>
Is the mom aware of what the agency is doing. Can she state her wishes that you have unlimited contact with baby prior to her signing away her rights? And as a condition of her signing away her rights.<br><br>
We did a private adoption with no agency involved. Our baby's birthmom gave us temporary custody and medical power of attorney.
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SundayCrepes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14679400"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We did a private adoption with no agency involved. Our baby's birthmom gave us temporary custody and medical power of attorney.</div>
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this sounds like a way to go around the agency and whatever they are up to... I would think it wouldn't be hard to get the agency out of the picture entirely at this point, though I guess that depends on what has been signed by the mother. when she goes to court to sign away her rights, are you mentioned as the baby's new family?<br><br>
I'm sure it will all work out, but how frustrating and scary to be where you are now! major hugs to you, and keep us updated!!
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>SundayCrepes</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14679400"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Are you going to court with her? Tell the judge about your desire to have unlimited access to the baby while it is in the ICU. The baby needs a consistent caregiver that is not a medical person. The baby needs to be held and loved by someone that is not doing painful procedures to it.<br><br>
Is the mom aware of what the agency is doing. Can she state her wishes that you have unlimited contact with baby prior to her signing away her rights? And as a condition of her signing away her rights.<br><br>
We did a private adoption with no agency involved. Our baby's birthmom gave us temporary custody and medical power of attorney.</div>
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No I am not going to court with her. And the state they are in is an agency state. They told her I needed to have some paperwork turned in before I can see him again.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>tiffani</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14679428"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">this sounds like a way to go around the agency and whatever they are up to... I would think it wouldn't be hard to get the agency out of the picture entirely at this point, though I guess that depends on what has been signed by the mother. when she goes to court to sign away her rights, are you mentioned as the baby's new family?<br><br>
I'm sure it will all work out, but how frustrating and scary to be where you are now! major hugs to you, and keep us updated!!</div>
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I don't know if we are mentioned as the new family or not. I do know she put his full name with our last name and not hers of what we will be naming him on his birth certificate.<br><br>
I just don't know how much we can push! I emailed our social worker here to let her know what is going on. Maybe we can get some better answers tomorrow.<br><br>
Thanks everyone!
 
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