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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Not sure where to start as I have so many thoughts going rounds in my head, so excuse me if this is disjointed.<br><br>
I have 2 dd's. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"> DD1 is 2 1/2 and dd2 is 3 months old.<br>
Dd1 has been having "issues" with sharing with a certain friend of hers, whom we see regularily. We nearly always see them at our house, as I am in that constant place of feedings and naps right now.<br>
I will talk to dd1 about her friend coming to play, she will be excited, and I will talk about how we like to play togethor and to use words when we want something, instead of snatching it or having a fit.<br><br>
Dd1 has grabbed this little girl by her face when she wanted a turn on something, and the girl thought that it was her turn.<br>
That is where it all started going pear shaped. From then on it has been grabbing, snatching, aggresive grunts, pulling, screaming etc. You get the pictuire. Pretty unpleasant <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:<br>
In the mix of this I have dd2, who is not crazy about the noise obviously, and is struggling to gain wieght breastfeeding,which of course is my priority.<br><br>
Needless to say, it is so stressful when her friend and her Mom are here that we have decided to take a break from it all and not let the girls play togethor for a while.<br>
They do ask to play with each other, and really do like each other, honest!<br><br>
Any thoughts? Thanks<br>
Just adding that I feel bad for dd1. Her world has been turned upside down with the arrival of her new sister, and when her friend is here I always kind of expect the behaviour that was pre baby. Feeling guilty about that too <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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Maybe the more "choices" they have of things to do, the better they would be. Sort of be.. .distracted from each other a bit. It's hard with a baby (I'm there too) but if you got outside, maybe there'd be more ... space, kind of to not want to be right on top of each other fighting. I'm going through some degree of what you are with my toddler also. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It will get better.<br>
This too shall pass.......
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks for you responses.<br>
We had gone outside at our house, at neutral territory at the other girl's house, but the behaviour is still the same.<br>
Thanks for letting me vent though!
 

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To tell you the truth, this sounds normal to me for a child who is having a hard time adjusting to new baby, new role, new schedual of the day, etc. Before becoming a SAHM, I worked with young children who had major behavior issues. Your dd sounds like she is going theough a major adjustment period and her friend is a good target for outbursts. One major rule is to teach the child what to do instead. Since teaching doesn't happen after the behavior starts (since the behavior is getting her a pay-off, most likley it is attention from mom when baby is getting the attention) the teachable moment is BEFORE the behavior happens. Teach her to ask for attention, using words, using actions that aren't violent. You can teach her other skills, re-enforce those skills like crazy (lots of attention when she uses them, ie gets the pay off) when she uses them. I don't think isolating your dd from her friend is going to help either child in the long run. It could begin the victim/victimizer cycle/label thing.<br><br>
I hope this is helpful...I'm a little sleep deprived...
 

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That's good advice, Eden. I'll be trying it myself, too. We're right there with the OP, but my DD is a little younger--24 months, and my DS is 7 weeks. We have a good friend with a DD near my DD's age, and my DD acts VERY aggressively toward that girl. Not so much with other children, but very aggressive toward this one particular girl. Sadly, (or happily, since it is so stressul to be around them right now) they are moving away in a few weeks. I am hoping the aggressiveness doesn't transfer to anyone else... However, she was aggressive with this girl before the baby came, but it is worse now, and I get stuck nursing. I am haing a hard time responding in a positive way. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/bag.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Bag">:
 
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