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Maybe you're now into the sage advice giving stage?

I've found that I no longer visit any of the baby and toddler stage forums. I've definately aged out of them, since my youngest 7 yrs old. I am however entering the preteen and teen, with a little bit of childhood years. The special needs parenting board is part of my daily visit as well. I know that there are times that I feel old here with all the baby goings on!
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I HAVE aged out of the parenting forums. I check in here to see if I can give advice, but I can offer no help for the moms of younger children. I either can't remember clearly, or the advice is outmoded.

I stick pretty much to the Mindful Home, Books, and TAO areas. I am not ready to give up completely, but I do find that I have less to offer as time goes by. Where do we go, though?
 

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My youngest is 12 & other than this one, which I don't check all that often, I don't generally look at any of the parenting forums anymore. I do enjoy all of the health related forums except TCAC & many of the Natural Family Living forums even though I read more than I post.
 

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Yeah, I feel old here too. Been here a long time and not ready to say "goodbye", but my kids are 19, 15, 12, and 8 and have mostly btdt as far as many of the topics. i still do like the homeschooling forums as I am still actively doing that, and the natural living stuff.

Maybe there should be an eventual "grandmothering" forum!
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I feel like I've pretty much aged out, even though my youngest is still a toddler. The world is a very different place than it was when my 22 and 19 year olds were kids so not much of the advice I have to give is relevant and the perspective my years and experience give me on raising the toddler makes me so different from the other parents of kids his age that my advice isn't welcomed by them. I stopped posting regularly about a year or two ago and mostly use it as a reference library.
 

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There are only a few boards here that I check.

With the baby, toddler, and little kid stuff, I really just don't care any more. I really don't have the energy to type up a post about flying with toddlers or any of that.

I am a regular on the special needs board, and about the only long time mothering.com member with an older SN kid.

I enjoy some of the general topics on the parenting board.
 

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This board was great for a while, and frankly I often felt challenged and stretched, and learned a lot. It was all good, even when I didn't agree. But not much happening lately, and I hate the new format.

The SN forum has been very cool. Lots of good support there when I was looking for it.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by noordinaryspider View Post

I feel like I've pretty much aged out, even though my youngest is still a toddler. The world is a very different place than it was when my 22 and 19 year olds were kids so not much of the advice I have to give is relevant and the perspective my years and experience give me on raising the toddler makes me so different from the other parents of kids his age that my advice isn't welcomed by them. I stopped posting regularly about a year or two ago and mostly use it as a reference library.
I agree, many first round parents don't really want BTDT advice unless it's very, very recent experience. Most of us who have teenagers are looking back and thinking "what the heck were we so worked up about!" Any attempt to calm or put things in long-term perspective is taken with offense.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post

I agree, many first round parents don't really want BTDT advice unless it's very, very recent experience. Most of us who have teenagers are looking back and thinking "what the heck were we so worked up about!" Any attempt to calm or put things in long-term perspective is taken with offense.
That's so true! There are days when I fondly remember when the biggest issues facing me as a parent was whether my kids had too many toys, or what their baby doll was made out of. I want to say "Just love your kids, make a community for yourself, and don't sweat the small stuff. It all goes by so fast."
 

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Mine are 8 and 11. I left for quite a while, then returned and am enjoying the childhood and preteen/teen forums. I guess I felt pretty on top of parenting issues for a few years and now I feel I want to think through some of the teen issues before mine get there in a year or two. I also enjoy the frugality, decluttering and food-related threads, though.
 

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Another "old one" and I've wondered this too! I don't go on the baby forums either. The forums I check out this one, Parenting, Natural Family Living and Health and Nutrition. I would like to go on the Education forum but even there most of the threads are about younger children.
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
See - my youngest is 4 and I still have questions about having a 4 year old - I have done it twice already, but he is so different than his brothers so we are still learning what works for him together...but then I get there (to those pages/threads) and I feel so old (not in my age, but in my parenting)

Recently there was an extended discussion of an issue impacting 3 & 4 year olds and many of the participants had only one child who was under 2 and they were sharing their "ideology" on the subject with real passion and I just checked out...started telling my dh about some of the advice and he was laughing and giving me not very "MDC" responses ;)

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone - I AM NOT THAAAT OLD - maybe I will focus my attention on Natural Family Living :) Not to mention - maybe there have been some books written on the subjects I am wondering about since my 8 year old was 4??? That is right...for the first time...I am going it sort of alone in the advice department ;)
 

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and it's really really tough to have a discussion with someone who has passionate ideology but no real experience putting that ideology in practice. Ideology can be PERFECT but life doesn't get to be. We also get wrapped up in the notion of this "ideal childhood" before we really understand that "ideal" is all relative to the child in question. What is happy, rewarding and keeps you on the straight and narrow for one child isn't neccessarily the same for another.... even if they come from the same family!

I know I was full of beliefs before I had kids and when they were infants/toddlers. It seems really easy when you are reading books about childrearing. However, most of the beliefs I had went right out the window when I realized they were wrong for my own children or just plain old impractical to keep up with.

Quote:
Originally Posted by wildmonkeys View Post

See - my youngest is 4 and I still have questions about having a 4 year old - I have done it twice already, but he is so different than his brothers so we are still learning what works for him together...but then I get there (to those pages/threads) and I feel so old (not in my age, but in my parenting)

Recently there was an extended discussion of an issue impacting 3 & 4 year olds and many of the participants had only one child who was under 2 and they were sharing their "ideology" on the subject with real passion and I just checked out...started telling my dh about some of the advice and he was laughing and giving me not very "MDC" responses ;)

Thanks for letting me know I am not alone - I AM NOT THAAAT OLD - maybe I will focus my attention on Natural Family Living :) Not to mention - maybe there have been some books written on the subjects I am wondering about since my 8 year old was 4??? That is right...for the first time...I am going it sort of alone in the advice department ;)
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

There are only a few boards here that I check.

With the baby, toddler, and little kid stuff, I really just don't care any more. I really don't have the energy to type up a post about flying with toddlers or any of that.

I am a regular on the special needs board, and about the only long time mothering.com member with an older SN kid.

I enjoy some of the general topics on the parenting board.
I love having support from moms, especially with older kids, in all the forums, but in the SNP forum, it's like having a fairy godmother!
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Truly, it seems like the preteen/teen age is x10 with special needs kids.
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I think I am aging out of this board as well. It happens, many others have 'aged' out of here before. When my kids were younger, reading about others experiences and their advice in GD was, for the most part, fantastic and I think it really helped support me to become a better parent. Now I read occasionally in the older childhood forums and in TAO, but really, I mostly still miss the old War & Politics forum.
 

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I think another reason is after you've been here a while, you see the same post topics so many times (like "Should I stop taking my kids to my parents' house because they did X?" or "Is my child delayed because he hasn't done X, Y and Z yet?" or "Is my child gifted because he has done X, Y and Z already?") that you just can't bring yourself to read or answer anymore? It's not that I think people shouldn't write those posts, because I remember being one of the ones posting "Is my child delayed..." and I needed the support from those responses, but right now, I just don't feel like I can offer advice. Part of it is that I can't really remember when my kids did X, Y and Z anymore and part of it is I don't feel like the things I can remember, like about when my preemie was born 11 years ago, are really relevant to someone with a preemie in the hospital now. When my son was born in 2000, I don't think I would have found info from 1989 helpful, you know?
 

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I agree with the above. However, what feels new to me is the social media piece. I didn't grow up with it, and we're just dipping our toes into the water, so to speak. I do find it interesting to hear how other folks have handled phones, texting, facebook, and the issues that come up around them.
 

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Karne, good point. I'm 43 years old and didn't grow-up with constant access to my friends by way of cell phones and Facebook and the like. It's interesting trying to navigate the effect this tool has on my 16 y.o.

Edited for clarity.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by whatsnextmom View Post

I agree, many first round parents don't really want BTDT advice unless it's very, very recent experience. Most of us who have teenagers are looking back and thinking "what the heck were we so worked up about!" Any attempt to calm or put things in long-term perspective is taken with offense.
i'm mom to a 4-year old and a 1-month old and i must say i love (and value) the sage advice of moms who have btdt (often more so than those new moms who think they have it all figured out, but really don't have a clue). i've even had women without children give me advice or their two cents during my pregnancies and about child rearing because they read something somewhere (and they usually have a holier-than-thou attitude). sorry, but until you've been in my shoes, i really don't want to hear it.

hopefully all you moms will stick around.

Quote:
Originally Posted by karne View Post

That's so true! There are days when I fondly remember when the biggest issues facing me as a parent was whether my kids had too many toys, or what their baby doll was made out of. I want to say "Just love your kids, make a community for yourself, and don't sweat the small stuff. It all goes by so fast."
i constantly try to keep this (bolded section) in mind and think it's so important for others to hear. like i said above, please stick around (and keep reminding us of this).

thanks mamas!
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