[lil_stinkyfeet]

Ds, 4 pdd-nos has taken a liking to being mean to animals. He has been kicking the dog and other people's dogs and today even while I was right there watching and instructing them he threw a frisbee at the Rabbit and tried to hit it.

Anyone deal with this? So far I have tried talking about it and doing time-out... But with no luck.

 

[Eyelet]

I haven't personally dealt with either of my ASD kids with aggression towards animals (actually they're quite terrified of them), my DS1 can be aggressive in general and it's been an ongoing struggle for us. I wonder is a sensory break before interaction with any animal would help? Maybe a quiet time when they're relaxed and shown an appropriate way to handle animals and immediately removed from the situation when he/if becomes agitated.

Anyone else?

 

[heatherdeg]

You know, I TOTALLY had this with my 5yo (also PDD-NOS) and was panicking about it (let's just say my mind totally ran away with me

) until I realized that ds was doing this to one dog and not the other. With the bigger, younger dog (the one that actually likes ds) he's not just aggressive--he's also hateful. In fact, ds will try to hurt that dog when the dog hasn't even eaten a toy or stolen ds' food. It was seriously worrisome. Every. single. day--that boy is yelling at that dog.

But for whatever reason, ds is REALLY kind, gentle and loving with the smaller, older dog that actually hates kids. In fact, ds tried to bite this little dog (he wasn't actually being malicious--he was experimenting) and she won't bite back--but she does show teeth and bark. Well, when she did this she jerked her head and him being right there--she made a little pink mark on his cheek. He didn't yell at her or anything. Just got upset that it happened (totally normal--right?). If it had been the other dog, I venture to say he'd have tried to kick and yell at the dog.

So I don't know what to think. His aggression is towards the animal that is with him most often and has the most... "interaction" with I guess is the word. The big dog is always near ds and always into ds' stuff.

I've been trying really hard to push the whole "do unto others" thing, but between the PDD and his age--it's a constant reminder that's not yet sunk in.

And really, ds is pretty smart: he knows that the dog can't actually kick him. No clue what else to do.

 

[2boyzmama]

We have two large dogs (one VERY large) and a cat, and Connor on occasion will do something mean, like pull a tail, kick "at" the animal (but not really make contact). I ALWAYS correct him right away, explaining that we are gentle to ALL living things. To enforce this, we visit the pet store often and let him learn how to handle a variety of animals, we also visit the zoo to talk about the different animals and touch the ones that we can. Connor is only 2, so a little bit of experimentation with being gentle, but it sure seemed to work with Ian, he is very gentle to all animals, and not afraid of any (but does know to have a healthy respect of them). Neither of my boys have any significant behavioral issues, so I'm not sure if that impacts things at all, I assume it does, but constant exposure to lots of different animals might help. Try reading books about animals, and talk about how you would pet the animal gently, etc.

 

[lotusdebi]

My 6 year old (ASD) is aggressive towards our Great Dane. She has been looking after him since he was an infant. She's never been at all aggressive towards him. But, he yells at her, kicks at her, pushes her around, etc. We won't be getting any more animals once she has passed on because I'm tired of dealing with this. Nothing I've said or done has helped. I'm just glad the Dane is so easy-going.

 

[lil_stinkyfeet]

Quote:

Originally Posted by lotusdebi My 6 year old (ASD) is aggressive towards our Great Dane. She has been looking after him since he was an infant. She's never been at all aggressive towards him. But, he yells at her, kicks at her, pushes her around, etc. We won't be getting any more animals once she has passed on because I'm tired of dealing with this. Nothing I've said or done has helped. I'm just glad the Dane is so easy-going.

That is kinda where I am at our dog would NEVER fight back, part of me wishes she would nip at him (not hurt him of course) but scare him or something and then maybe he would back off.. Course ds doesn't really retain past information that well so that might not work either lol

 

[sbgrace]

With my kiddo the attention to what was going wrong (talking about it, involved time out, reacting) made things more likely to happen again. That's general with Andrew and specific to being mean to pets. When I figured that out and decided to apply it across the board I switched things up. Instead I emphasized when he was being gentle (or, early on, just when he was not being mean but sort of coexisting or having him help feed or brush and calling attention to how kind he was being to the animals) along with lots of modeling myself and recognition when his brother was kind to the cats. In Andrew's case he likes reaction. Cats. People. Doesn't matter. I make sure my big reactions are feeding the things I want to see repeated. Also I think for him some of this was actually sort of measuring his effect on other people/things. Experimenting with his actions causing a reaction. Problem in that here is Andrew's strong suit isn't awareness of how the other person (creature in this case) is feeling. So we point that out too but more in terms of the positive effects of his actions on others. Not that there isn't a consequence for hurting someone or something. But the emotion and force and energy is way out of kilter to the good stuff vs. the bad.