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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I couldn't figure out where to put this but figured it might be considered a health issue so chose this forum. Mods please feel free to move it if there is a more appropriate forum.

I think my DH is becoming an alcoholic. He doesn't drink at home but when he goes out to dinners for work he binge drinks and the ends up at strip clubs. Afterwards he feels remorseful, blah blah blah. I don't know what to do - I am at my wit's end but want to get him some help. We are in marriage counseling right now - would she have suggestions you think? I mentioned Alcoholics Anonymous and he shush'd it off saying he wasn't an alcoholic. I'm thinking he is - he has no control over himself when he drinks and has gone through thousands upon thousands of dollars over the past few months.

Does anyone have any experience or suggestions on how I can help? Even if this marriage doesn't stay together he needs to stop this binge drinking for his own health.
 

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I'm married to a recovering alcoholic. It doesn't matter the frequency or how much, it's that they have a PROBLEM and can't control it.

Unfortunately, there isn't any way that WE can control them niether. They really have to figure this out on their own.

He may hush off AA, but you can check into Al-anon.

He's agreed to counseling? That's a step in the right direction.

Good luck, mama!
 

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As a recovering binge drinker myself, I'll tell you that one of AA's defenitions of an alcohol problem is any drinking pattern/behavior that causes problems in relationships. It's harder for a binge drinker to see that he has a problem than it is for someone who is more like an "Arthur" type drunk. I could go for weeks without drinking without thinking about it, but rarely had control of myself when I did.

Please stick with your DH through the counselling. If he's willing, there's hope. I second the AlAnon meetings for yourself.
 

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If his drinking is causing problems in your marriage, he has an alcohol problem. Period. You can't make him do anything about it, but it should definately be brought up in your counseling sessions, and you should go to Al-Anon. Not to help him, this would be for you. The people in the meetings are so supportive, and it can be so helpful.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks everyone - I called the local AA 24 hour hotline and got the information for Al-Anon; they aren't open on weekends so I will be calling on Monday.

I have done some individual therapy this past month plus we are in couples therapy. He's going to do some individual therapy now he says. We go back to the therapist on Monday as a couple and we will definitely bring this up.
 

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there are many varieties of alcoholic, the stereotyp of somebody needing to start drinking as soon as they get up in the morning isd largely a myth. my dh is absolutely fine unless he has 1 drink, 1 drink is too many as he will then go on to get drunk and he cannot control his drinking at all, this is a form of alcoholism.

it took him 12 years of our being together to realise that the only solution was to not drink at all, we have been through some very difficult times, but he is now not drinking.

i think it is important that your dh realise that alcoholism takes many different forms, but if it is causing him to regularly act in a way that he feels he has to apologis for and that he cannot control his drinking in certain circumstances, then he really is an alcoholic.

drinking problems are so hard, i really do feel for you
 

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I am divorcing an alcoholic who turned to meth. I found a lot of help at the boards at soberrecovery.com

My biggest mistake was ignoring it and not realizing what was going on. You're already in the right direction.
 

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http://www.area82aa.org/district7/twenty_questions.htm

Simple test to whether one might or moght not be an alcoholic. It was developed through John Hopkins and is used worldwide as a diagnostic tool.

My H is an alcoholic. He doesn't drink daily. But when he drinks, he drinks a lot and he gets mean. He answered yes to all but three of the twenty questions. He's now going to AA and has over 30 days sober.

I am going to al-anon. Not sure if it will be what I need, but I'm going back each week.

I'm not trying to learn how to make him stop, I'm trying to learn how to deal with life in a healthy way. With or without him in it.

I'm here if you need to talk...
 
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