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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My ds is 25 months. He's a cute, active, wonderful little boy. He has shown no desire to learn to use the "potty". This does not bother me one little bit. In a month I will have 2 sets of diapers to wash. But who cares? Not me!!<br><br>
Flash forward to this week. MIL is here, taking care of ds while I work my last week - and for this I am grateful. (No point in paying for a month of daycare for 3.5 days of work!) She wasn't in the house 5 minutes and she had my ds on the potty with his pants down trying to talk him into peeing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: You have got to be kidding me!! FIVE MINUTES!!!<br><br>
So I'm changing his diaper yesterday when I get home from work and she tells me - "You'll have to train him soon.... you won't want to be doing all those diapers." To which I answer, "It really doesn't matter to me. He's not even close to showing any signs of wanting to learn how to use the potty." To which I'm sure she didn't hear a single word, cause she continued to tell me how she didn't want to wash two sets of diapers (WHAT? You had your kids 6 years apart!!), and started training them early. She proceeded to tell me that it took several months to train them. Well, duh? They were less than 18 months old!!!<br><br>
I'm sorry lady, but I don't have the energy to try to force my kid to learn something he doesn't need to know yet, especially when I'm a month away from having #2. I don't know many "new potty users" who don't revert after all the changes the birth of a sibling brings. I really don't want to have to deal with a new baby, and cleaning up a wet and poopy, diaperless toddler.<br><br>
So, I was sort of warned by my SIL that this was gonna happen. She told me that MIL tried to push the potty training with her girls as well.<br><br>
But then, the best was last weekend - before mil even got to our house, my dh got a whole speech about how I should be trying to get Nik on the potty. Dh comes home and continues to spew off all this "expert infomation" about potty training to me. So, I'm the first to admit, I've never done it. Ds is my first child.... but I think I know enough about my ds to know when he will be ready and how we'll go about it. Dh agreed.... and laughed at me when I started rolling my eyes about his mom.<br><br>
So I still have a couple more days with her. I'm sure I'll hear all about it many more times.<br><br>
If you are still reading this, thanks for letting me vent! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/angry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="angry"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
Why does she always need to tell me how to do things?!?!?
 

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Hi,<br><br>
My son is older but I got the talk about how she knows what she is doing, she trained three boys etc. I say when they are ready, they will go in the potty and "forcing" them will just make you miserable and start control issues around the potty. We can't make them go in the potty. My son started training recently but I didn't initiate it, I only bought him some underwear.<br><br>
Good Luck with the new baby and with your MIL,<br><br>
Doreen
 

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joe didn't use the potty until he was four. he would occasionally but he had a real aversion to underwear & he was not interested in pooping anywhere but his pullup.<br><br>
i think everyone in his life was secretly worried about him except me. he trained in june when he was wearing swim trunks all day & he has had only 3 accidents, all pee.<br><br>
you have the right idea, esp. w/ a new baby coming. why give your child a new skill knowing he will almost certainly lose it in the stress of being a big brother?<br><br>
tell your MIL to back off. he won't be little forever, what's the rush??
 

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I think some MILs remember things a little differently than they actually happened. I bet she STARTED trying to train at 18mos or older and it took several mos to do it, making him sometime after 2years.<br><br>
whatever......that was then....this is now.....and most of the so called experts say wait until they show signs of readiness. It will be alot easier to wait, than to try to MAKE them do something they dont want to and arent ready for. I think it sets you up for other confrontations later on.<br><br>
Besides, this is your child, not hers. Ask her to respect they way you choose to raise your child........thanks for the advise......but.....<br><br>
I wish I could have said that 20+ years ago to MY first MIL!!! Now that Im an older mom, no one would dare question how Im parenting. Of course, now I have the sweetest MIL on the planet........live and learn!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Joesmom - You can have her!!! :LOL<br><br>
She means well..... but she can really be a pain sometimes!! She is really passive agressive.... "Oh... so that's how you're doing that?" type comments, all of the time. AUGH!! I just want to pull my hair out sometimes...... but I stand my ground.... no worries about that.<br><br>
Thanks for your support ladies. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">
 

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My son is 2 years and 8 months old and last month he was completely trained in one week. I don't think it should take months if he's ready. But I do agree you can start putting him on the potty when he wakes and after naps or before a bath. Just put him on whenever and encourage it. I did this from about 18 months on and when I finally decided to get serious (put him cold turkey in undies) he already knew all about potty habits and got with the program quickly. I personally was not wanting to have a child over 3 in diapers because it really grossed me out but my sister has a 4 year old still in dipes and it doesn't seem to bother her. To each their own.
 

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I know how you feel. We live with my mother. Thought we were doing her a favor when she got injured. But, now we're always hearing about how I trained myself on the potty when I was a year old and by a 16 months, if my daughter is anything like me, she'll stop nursing all by herself.<br><br>
She even bought us a crib and playpen even though we insisted on using the family bed...wouldn't listen to a word. Ahhh...the things we'll put up with for free babysitting.<br><br>
-Kirina
 

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and how are mother in law's children?<br><br>
are they anal retentive?<br><br>
hate making mistakes? uptight?<br><br>
that's what happened with a lot of people in my generation who got potty trained too early and had too many accidents.<br><br>
I'm letting my son indicate to me in his own way when he is ready for potty training. Right now he doesn't even care if his diaper is full..so he has got a ways to go and I'll be damned if he is going to be anal retentive twenty years from now with my help. he can get that way on some other road..but not from me.<br><br>
your mil would not enjoy my thoughts... tee hee..
 

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From talking to women who mothered in the 40s and 50s, they did have their babies out of diapers at 12-18 months. But it was a lot more like EC than potty-training. We're talking about women who put their children on the toliet 8-10 times a day for 10-15 minutes at a time. And the kids weren't in underwear, they were in those thick panties with rubbers over them.<br>
With the technology of diapers and washing machines then, I'd say it was a time saver. With current technology and how easy it can be to use pull up or diapers, I don't think it's easier either way.<br>
To you MIL, I know she made them do it to help her out, but you don't need to do it now.
 

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Apricot--I think what you descibe was very accurate. It was a lot like EC except less respectful of the child. There is a picture of my dh's uncle tied into the potty chair with a dishtowel. He had to sit until he pooped.<br><br>
I mom also tell of whenever we where at my paternal grandmother's and either my mom or grandma changed a diaper my grandma would immediately rinse it out and hang it up to dry. My mom thinks my grandmother diapered with only 12-18 diapers.<br><br>
My MIL told me about the criticism she got from her mom about having my dh and BIL in diapers until four. I guess she can give it out, but not take it. oh well
 

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My poor ds is breaking the family tradition of not being potty trained at 10 months, not waking at 8 months and not being raised by disillusioned parents. I don't know what we have set the poor kid up for in life......<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: It's funny how 30 or so years go by and everyone is an expert on what you should do for your babies. We started playing with the potty a few months ago, even got to the point where we bought big boy underwear. Then he started losing interest and we decided to move so I've left it alone for now. Once we get settled and I give him a chance to get comfortable and used to his new life changes(Papa is giong to be far away, it will be very hard on all of us, but ds especially) I plan to start talking about it again. He will be 3 in Dec. and I really am not worried, he will do it when he is ready, with as little or as much encouragement as he needs.
 
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