All my plans are going out the window!

Big hugs. Deep breath

You know what Morgan - all the books and tapes and stuff are great - but they can never replace something I know you already have; knowledge and intention. Yes, as a doula I want my clients to take as much responsibility for their births as they possibly can, yes I want them to read and research and learn - but mostly - at the end of the day, what matters is that they believe in themselves, trust their intuition and have made wise choices in their birth place and caregiver (and doula - lol).

Have some real good meetings with Lori - talk really deeply about your concerns, your questions, your worries, your excitement. Get down on paper the things you want/need to have answered to go into this with a clear head and heart (some of these might be research-y type things, others might be more personal examination type issues) and start working on crossing them off the list one by one. Instead of trying to learn everything, just focus on what really, really matters to you. Figure out what your most specific and important wishes are for birth and go over them with Lori, your dh and most importantly with yourself until you are clear on how you (or your support people) can articulate them, and how they sync with the policies at the hospital you are birthing at (luckily - you're in a good place as far as that is concerned - not a lot of ^%$ to deal with usually).

You've got all you need to birth inside you - the rest, really, is just gravy.

Jeanette

PS: ANYTIME you want to talk, or have questions or feel yourself going a little nuts - feel free to call me. PM me if you want my number.

Thank you!

Ditto what Jeannette L said.
it'll be ok.

we've got a Bradley book, and I've read bits and pieces and have been stressing that we haven't actually 'practiced' anything, and DH hasn't really read it, so I hear you on the feeling not as prepared as I *should* be. AND I don't even have another child to take care of, never mind what all you've been through w/DH in Taiwan and all.

your body knows, trust yourself.
and remind me of this when *I'm* stressing!!

As an educated mama-to-be, I'm actually afraid that all my education is going to interfere with my natural God-given intuition and knowledge and my ability to trust my body.

So - it sounds like you plan to have educated people present, and you have already educated yourself enough to know you want a homebirth, etc., right? Leave the rest up to your body and your baby! Your dear child knows what's going on better than anybody.

So forget the books and CDs Revel in the fact that your body knows what it's doing!