Mothering Forum banner

All my plans are going out the window!

772 Views 7 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  chiro_kristin
I bought a bunch of natural childbirth books, borrowed Hypnobabies from a friend, found an awsome doula, etc.

So far all I have managed to accomplish is meet with and talk to my doula a few times. We have had some great long phone conversations so I know we are on the same page. BUT - I feel like I am not keeping up my part of being as educated as I can be on giving birth.

I just cant find the time! I think I have read 2 chapters of the Bradley Birth Book and that is it! I haven even listened to ONE of the HB CDs. By the time I get home from work, feed my boy and myself, do bath time and get him in bed I crash myself.

I dont know if its even worth trying now if I did find the time considering I only have 6 weeks to go (give or take).

No point to this post I guess - just feeling like all the stuff I planned to do isnt happening. I had the best intentions from the min. I got pregnant.

Just feeling overwhelmed I guess
See less See more
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
Big hugs. Deep breath

You know what Morgan - all the books and tapes and stuff are great - but they can never replace something I know you already have; knowledge and intention. Yes, as a doula I want my clients to take as much responsibility for their births as they possibly can, yes I want them to read and research and learn - but mostly - at the end of the day, what matters is that they believe in themselves, trust their intuition and have made wise choices in their birth place and caregiver (and doula - lol).

Have some real good meetings with Lori - talk really deeply about your concerns, your questions, your worries, your excitement. Get down on paper the things you want/need to have answered to go into this with a clear head and heart (some of these might be research-y type things, others might be more personal examination type issues) and start working on crossing them off the list one by one. Instead of trying to learn everything, just focus on what really, really matters to you. Figure out what your most specific and important wishes are for birth and go over them with Lori, your dh and most importantly with yourself until you are clear on how you (or your support people) can articulate them, and how they sync with the policies at the hospital you are birthing at (luckily - you're in a good place as far as that is concerned - not a lot of ^%$ to deal with usually).

You've got all you need to birth inside you - the rest, really, is just gravy.


PS: ANYTIME you want to talk, or have questions or feel yourself going a little nuts - feel free to call me. PM me if you want my number.
See less See more
I'm not a doula but everything Jeanette L said makes perfect sense to me. Books can only do so much for you.
Ditto what Jeannette L said.
it'll be ok.

we've got a Bradley book, and I've read bits and pieces and have been stressing that we haven't actually 'practiced' anything, and DH hasn't really read it, so I hear you on the feeling not as prepared as I *should* be. AND I don't even have another child to take care of, never mind what all you've been through w/DH in Taiwan and all.

your body knows, trust yourself.
and remind me of this when *I'm* stressing!!
See less See more
Sometimes the books stress me out more
"oh my I'm not doing this, and I should"
"Oh no I did this and I shouldn't"
"Am I as prepared as I should be, the book says I'm not"
"Do I really need to do this"
Don't fret mama, Jeanette is right, trust yourself and YOUR instincts!
birth is natural

that's the most important aspect of natural childbirth

your body knows a lot about managing your birth. more, actually, than most books do. and, where there may be need for a well read woman present, your doula is there to fill in the blanks
As an educated mama-to-be, I'm actually afraid that all my education is going to interfere with my natural God-given intuition and knowledge and my ability to trust my body.

So - it sounds like you plan to have educated people present, and you have already educated yourself enough to know you want a homebirth, etc., right? Leave the rest up to your body and your baby! Your dear child knows what's going on better than anybody.

So forget the books and CDs
Revel in the fact that your body knows what it's doing!
See less See more
1 - 8 of 8 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.