I see that you have now chosen preschool. That's sort of interesting to
me because I would feel like I had far less control over what is around
my children if I had them in any sort of school, than if I were nearby to
help "moderate" any issues that might come up, that are against my
values. Hopefully you will be very happy with your choice.
I was going to suggest that you host playgroups at your house (not just
playdates) where you invite everyone in your homeschool group, or 3 or
4 other homeschools moms to come for a playgroup. Since it would be at
your home and you do not have any weapon toys, I would think that you
would find that other sorts of play would dominate. You could also add
to the end of your playgroup invitation that you are have a "no weapons
home, for both children and adults." (assuming you have no guns in your
Originally Posted by mybabysmama
I guess I posted here partly as a vent and partly because there has to be other unschoolers who have been in our circumstance. I know we go against the grain of the unschooling world when it comes to weapon toys.
I feel an extreme need to comment on this. I'm shocked that you think
that just because you know a couple-few unschooling families who allow
weapon play for their 3 year olds, that avoiding-weapon-toys is something
you think is "against the grain of the unschooling world."
Okay, give me a moment... we are also unschoolers and had no weapon
toys in our house for a very long time. I think when my son was 8, he got
his first plastic knight sword and shield as a gift. I know plenty of
homeschoolers and unschoolers who did the same. Actually, it was pretty
rare that we would run into weapon toys at playdates even when we were
in MOMS Club (along with all sorts of different types of parenting and such,
very eclectic group from extremely mainstream to hippie, etc.), and then
later once we were active in the homeschool group.
I must admit though, I'm shocked that you allow such violent play for your
3 year old. It makes me less surprised that he engages in that violent play
around and with his sister, though, I must admit. How can a 3 year old
differentiate between allowed violent play and not-allowed violent play?
Instead, perhaps if you told him, "Sorry, sweetie, violent play can hurt
someone and we don't want it in our house" and discourage it all the time,
then it would be easier to get him to stop doing it to his sister.
I remember my husband used to let the children climb on him, jump on
him and lightly wrestle with him when they were babies/toddlers while he
read their bedtime stories to them, UNTIL one day they hurt him, and he
realized it was a bad idea to allow or encourage ANY sort of rough play.
It was never something I allowed (always gently discouraged), but I didn't
police his story times, obviously. lol
When my children have gotten testy (both now when they are 8 and 10,
and back when they were toddlers/preschoolers), I'd suggest for them to
run around the tree in our yard a bunch of times, or I'd take them to the
playground to let off some steam. I have always found that they have
played more gently after a bout of running around outside. Perhaps the
next time you have that one child over that your son wrestled with, you
could start the playdate by having the children run around outside a bit
first, to blow off that extra steam.
|I recently read a poll and about half of parents do not allow|
weapon play. Unfortunately for us it feels like most of those parents send
their kids to school.
My experiences tend to be the opposite. The
parents who homeschool/unschool that I know tend to be crunchier and
more conscious of keeping their children peaceful than the ones who sent
their children away to school. I don't think it's a valid generalization
though. It just happens to be a case of who you know and the types of
people you might gravitate towards to cultivate relationships, in addition
to the randomness of life.