Mothering Forum banner

1 - 7 of 7 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
339 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, I often read about this in the breastfeeding forums, but haven't seen much regarding co sleeping. I have a 3 year old ds and a 6 week old dd. The 3 year old co slept on and off (sometimes in our bed, sometimes in his bed) until about 1 year ago. Then he got scared of sleeping in his room and began sleeping in our bed more and more. Now, he sleeps exclusively in our room. Baby sleeps in a co sleeper in our room until her first waking, then in my arms the rest of the night.<br><br>
My problem is that ds is very attached to me. He wants to hug me/be with me all day long. I feel like that would be ok if I got a break at night, but he honestly sleeps the whole night pressed up against my body. I have tried putting a pillow between us, but he scoots under it (in his sleep) until he is sleeping pressed against me with a pillow on top of him. So, most nights, I spend most of the night with ds on one side and dd on the other. I am so sandwiched between them that I wake up and my muscles feel sore because I can't move AT ALL or I will roll over on one of them. By morning, I am so touched out, that I sometimes feel I can't face a day of all being together. I am ready to put ds out of the bed, kicking and screaming. This morning, I woke up and cried on and off for the first couple of hours I was awake because I felt so touched out and then felt like a crappy mom for being snappy with ds.<br><br>
Please, please, please, does anyone have any suggestions for me? I am leaving to go out of town for the week soon so when I don't post back until then, it is not because I have disappeared. I will bookmark this thread and read all replies when I get back. Dh and I are going to discuss what to do this week while we are gone, so I would love to have some input when we get back. I just had to post now because I am feeling so stressed about it today!!!<br><br>
Thanks so much!!!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,221 Posts
Would your DS go for sleeping on the other side of daddy? Or could you push a twin bed up against your bed for him to sleep on so he is right there, but not ON you? Or what about having him lay down perpendicular to you along the foot of the bed so he could still touch your feet, but not be ON you? Another thought...would he go for sleeping in his own bed, but having someone lay with him till he goes to sleep, and if he wakes, he can come to your room, that way you get some time without both of them on you?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,986 Posts
I wish I could help. I get touched out very easily and often find myself moving kids hands off me. I get really freaked. I know how you feel and I hope you get some advice that works for you.<br>
Me I try desperately to fake it in front of the kids so they don;t think I am shunning their touch.<br>
good luck..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
65 Posts
No help, just commiseration. This has been the biggest problem with co-sleeping for me, feeling like I don't get a break.<br><br>
The only thing that I can offer is that it is much better now -- ds is 7 months old. He spends enough time off of me during the day now that I have some cuddling left in me for the night.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,700 Posts
gini1313, I don't have any solutions (sorry<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> ) but wanted to post and tell you that you are definitely not alone. My DD, 6 months, has been this way from day one. Even if I try to inch her over when she is in the deepest sleep, she scooches right back to me. I can't even have my arm between us so I have resorted to sleeping with my arm over her head or around her, waking up with no feeling in it most mornings.<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> to you and awaiting others responses
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
656 Posts
I definitely moved to the couch to escape the great milk hunter (DS) and the oblovious bed hogger (DH)... more than once... more than a lot of times! Didn't sleep great, but it was better than being groped and squashed. Maybe cosleeping with DD in a totally other bed a few nights a week would give you a litttle break.<br><br>
I also have used the "kick the crap out of DH until he moves" method to good effect... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
ETA ah now I reread OP and see that it is DS who is squashing, NOT DH... do not use kicking method with DS... I agree with putting a twin against the bed on DH's side and having DS there.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
339 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks everyone for the replies. Well, we went out of town for the week and I was dreading it because there was only a full sized bed, even smaller than mine. We brought two sleeping bags and talked up the pull out couch big time so ds thought it was the coolest thing since sliced bread ("a couch that turns into a bed... a couch bed") and they slept in it in sleeping bags so I slept *4* whole nights with just me and dd in a full sized bed... HEAVEN!!! I feel revived, but still like I need to make a change. We are back for the first night tonight and I think dh is going to try to get him back to his own bed, but I doubt it will happen without a trouble.<br><br>
It used to be that one of us would lay with him in his bed until he fell asleep, then he could come in in the night when he awoke, but about a year ago that went the wayside. And, if we could get back to that, it would be great,honestly, because he doesn't wake up during the night at all. I have tried to get him to snuggle with dh, but he doesn't want to, he wants me. Then, if I make him stay on his side of the pillow, I feel so guilty because he says "but, I just wanna snuggle with you mommy." And, generally we can't go back to sleep until I let him.<br><br>
I don't know, I really thing I need to get him back to his bed, but I am not sure how to do it gently, and when I am not frustrated to the hilt, I want to do it lovingly, not kicking and screaming... Any suggestions for luring him back to his bed and making him think it is his idea? The only thing I have thought of is "certificates."<br><br>
We did this with video time... He has a certain amount of certificates for a certain amount of video time each week and he can choose when to use them. It took the power struggle out of tv time and he never uses all his time (which is enough for 30 minutes a day)... by the end of the week he always has a bunch left. I was thinking of "sleep the whole night in m & d's bed" certificates. A friend suggested starting with 6 per week and decreasing it slowly. I have also thought about talking to him about turning 4 soon (in 2 months) and that it will be time for him to start sleeping in his own bed again and letting him help decide how many certificates he get. Anyone ever do anything like this, or have any ideas about it? Any other ideas?
 
1 - 7 of 7 Posts
Top