"I don't want to be healthy" after I've asked if he remembered to wash his hands after using the bathroom. "I don't want to grow", "I want it to hurt" "I want it to break", etc., etc.<br>
Is this normal for this age?
My recently turned 5 year old will argue almost every reason I give.. so for now I don't give a reason <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/duck.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Duck">: (well not totally true) like if I say you need to eat your dinner so you can stay healthy and grow she says no I'm not little I've already grown. or IF I say you need to wash your hands because they have germs you can get sick. No I wont I promise I wont <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">.. SO frankly right now we do a lot of wash them anyways and finish eatting and just keeping explainations short and sweet and using other times to discuss why.
My 4.5 y old is extremely oppositional as well. We are really into playful parenting and GD. Its not like he has a lot of rules. He has been this way since... well... always I guess. It just becomes more articulated as he gets older.<br><br>
Sometimes it really concerns me that there is a problem. But honestly, his parents are both strong willed, creative types so its probably in the genes to question everything and how he does that is by always taking the opposite opinion and working back to whats correct in his mind.<br><br>
Of course there are certain things that are not negotiable such as washing hands after using the toilet. I give him a couple options (peppermint soap or lavender/ red hand towel or dogie towel) Let him make as many decisions as possible seems to work for my DS.<br><br>
Its trying to parent an oppositional kiddo because I feel I have to take 3 steps where most parents do one. However, I love that he questions, thinks deeply I know it will serve him well in life.<br><br>
No really answering your question am I. Yes, its developmental appropriate for 4 year olds to be oppositional.
From yesterday morning:<br><br>
me: Put underware on becasue we are going to church<br>
ds: Nope no underware and no church (while putting on underware)<br><br>
me: thanks do you need help with socks<br>
ds: no socks no underware I won't do it(handing me his socks)<br><br>
This went on for the rest of the morning in a sing song voice that made me want to rip my ears offf. He eventually did everything I asked and I had no reason to be miffed but the opposition is maddening. Yep he is 4.5. I am so hoping this is a normal phase.