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My DD is only three months old and although I love all her little milestones and take great joy in her growth, I also feel a great saddness and part of me also wants her to stay a baby forever. I am a first time mom and so shocked that I feel this way. I hold her so close and am just overcome with love and sadness all at the same time. I want to just hold on to her forever, but know that she is not really mine to hold onto, she is her own person and all I can do is just shine my love on her and let go. In fact, I am struck by the irony that one part of me wants to hold onto her babyness forever while at the same time it is my job to guide her to independance. What a powerful lesson in unconditional love and detachmet mothering is..<br><br>
sheshh.. I hope this all gets easier..<br><br>
Anyone else ever feel this way ??<br><br>
~ Pixie
 

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Nope, it never gets easier, afaik. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> If you had any illusions of permanence, they all fade away now.
 

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i feel it the most when i look into the eyes of my girls and at bedtime, i could just stare at them forever as they sleep, wishing they could stay that age forever.
 

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I do know how you feel.... I felt the same way right after ds was born.<br><br>
But now that he is 13 months... he can walk, talk, understand me.... and this is all just the begining!! Every stage so far has been my "favorite stage." Where I fall in love with the new part of him he has just discovered.... and THIS will never end. He will always be doing something new, figuring something out, growing and expanding..... and I woundn't miss those moments for anything.<br><br><br>
I'll just have to have another baby so I can do it again!
 

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I know that feeling very well. I have a 5.5-year-old, a 22-month-old, and a 6-week-old.<br><br>
I think every day about how little "babyness" my 5.5-year-old has left and how he's growing into a man right before my eyes. I think about how, in just two years or so, he won't have much little kid silliness left; he'll know how to tie his shoes himself; he won't need me to pick out his clothes for him.<br><br>
I watch my 22-month-old growing from a baby into a child. She can carry on a conversation with me now, and I think, "When did that happen?"<br><br>
And the 6-week-old. Oh, that's the one that hurts the most. He's most likely my last baby, and I am already so, so sad that his newborn days are over. I can't believe it has already been 6 weeks since he left my body and became his own unique person.<br><br>
Hugs to you, mama. I don't think it ever gets easier to watch them grow.
 

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i don;t wish my boy would stay a babe forever, but when i see a tiny baby - i say to him do you remember when you were just a tiny baby? i wish i had a tiny baby again! and get all misty and think about trying for number two (which we haven't said we're going to do)<br><br>
ftr, babe is 7 months old right now...
 

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From my own journal a week ago:<br><blockquote></blockquote><i>I admit that I was a little bit sad when Ziad first gained the dexterity needed to reliably suck his own thumb. It's silly but still it was something he needed that he didn't need me for anymore; his first of the kind. And it occurred to me that I've walked into a life of a million or more of those moments -- watching a baby grow into a child and a child into a man, each step of the way in the smallest of ways seeing him grow more and more independent of me until really he doesn't need me at all. All mothers do this. All mothers love and hate this the same. We can not wait to watch our children grow and wish to hold them back, small bodies clinging ever to our own, all the same. We can watch our children moving out into the world and claim our tears are tears of joy, but it will be a lie. The smile is joy, and a joy of the purest kind. But the tears -- these are the accompanying sense of loss.</i>
... better know as, "yes, but it's probably what has to -- and definitely should -- be."
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Liquesce</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/9022325"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">From my own journal a week ago:<br><blockquote></blockquote><i>I admit that I was a little bit sad when Ziad first gained the dexterity needed to reliably suck his own thumb. It's silly but still it was something he needed that he didn't need me for anymore; his first of the kind. And it occurred to me that I've walked into a life of a million or more of those moments -- watching a baby grow into a child and a child into a man, each step of the way in the smallest of ways seeing him grow more and more independent of me until really he doesn't need me at all. All mothers do this. All mothers love and hate this the same. We can not wait to watch our children grow and wish to hold them back, small bodies clinging ever to our own, all the same. We can watch our children moving out into the world and claim our tears are tears of joy, but it will be a lie. The smile is joy, and a joy of the purest kind. But the tears -- these are the accompanying sense of loss.</i>
... better know as, "yes, but it's probably what has to -- and definitely should -- be."</div>
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oh my goodness <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/mecry.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="crying"><br><br>
ETA -- DS used to make a certain, loud, sound when he nursed, and it was so musical and cute, and I thought I'd hear it "forever." It occurred to me the other day that he doesn't make those noises anymore. I "missed" the last time. We can never know when the "last time" for these moments will be, until after they're gone.
 
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