[shells_n_cheese]

<p>This pregnancy was a complete shock. We were TTA, so we weren't emotionally ready yet. Especially me. I am already dreading the labor and birth. My 1st birth was an induction turned cesarean, 2nd was an extremely painful HBAC with a 4 min. shoulder dystocia. I don't even want to guess what will happen this time. We are going with a wonderful group of MW's at the hospital though, where there will be an epidural if I want it, so that in an of itself is a relief. But still. I'm dreading early labor (I found my "early labor" contractions painful too!!), and pushing, crowning... and the fear of another shoulder dystocia. Not to mention a myriad of other emergencies that could happen. I was so confident in planning my HBAC, that I wasn't afraid of the .5% risk of uterine rupture. But it was the .5% risk of shoulder dystocia that got us instead. Actually experiencing a true emergency during labor/birth that came out of NOWHERE, has really shaken my confidence that everything will most likely be ok next time. Now I feel no one is safe. Not even "low risk", because emergencies can just come out of nowhere. No guarantees.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Anyone else feeling this way? Maybe just some words of wisdom? Anything?</p>

 

[scheelimama]

<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif">  Maybe it would be better to remember the saying "third times a charm!"  Of course, something might go wrong, but you'll be in a hospital setting where they can help you, you'll be able to get an epidural if the pain is too much.  You've got so much time between then and now, I'd try to not worry about it yet.  Worry won't help it go any better.</span></p>
<p> </p>
<p>I cannot relate really, as all of mine have been unmedicated, non-hospital births, and all have gone pretty well with no real complications to speak of.  Pain wasn't even too bad last time.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>But I can relate on not being ready emotionally.  We were also TTA, I'm SO not ready for another baby and wouldn't be terribly disappointed if I miscarried (horrible, I know, *hanging head in shame*).   I think that's why God gives us 9 months, so we have plenty of time to get ready emotionally.  </p>

 

[Gismobabe]

<p>I totally understand where you are coming from. I had hospital MW births with all of my three children and after my son died I remember just being so incredibly mad that I had to do it all over again. I was really planning an epidural and ended up not being able to get one due to the baby aspirin I have to take and that had to be out of system for a full 72 hours. And it was not. But I did survive. I discussed the pain issue long before labor and told my midwife that I was through with the relax and walk around stuff. So I got something that reduced my pain enough for me to be able to have a birth sitting up instead of lying on my back because me legs shook so much I could not even think about standing. I am really not looking forward to this birth but I think life is risky. And even if you have your baby safe and sound, it might get hurt afterwards (look at me). This is what I try to remember when I think about birth. All of them are different, and whatever happens we learn to deal with it.</p>

 

[octopus]

<p>I'm pretty nervous about this (my second) time in labour, but I'm really excited to take hypnobirthing.  Everyone I know who's taken the course was happy that they did and felt in control and calm in labour and that's EXACTLY what I need!  There were absolutely no problems with the birth of my son, but I felt so panicked the whole time and I kept thinking and saying "I can't, I can't".  I'm doing everything I can this time around to make sure that I don't feel that way again!</p>

 

[staryla]

<p>I don't have horror stories from my first labor, but thank goodness I can no longer vividly remember the pain.  The first weeks after my son was born I couldn't relax because anytime I started to I would start reliving the labor pains.  I dreaded going through that again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I thought taking Bradley classes, doing yoga, excercising regularly, and knowing as much as possible would prepare me; but I was woefully unprepared for the actual experience.  I'm used to things coming easily to me, and I thought birth would be natural and easy.  Guess I'm not very good at it...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Looking back, I think having a doula would have helped immeasurably (as awesome as my husband is, he is NOT a good labor coach.)  This time I am getting a doula and I plan to take the Hypnobabies home course.  I need help relaxing, and Hypnobabies also does fear clearing type activities (or so I hear).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I don't know what to tell you but you're not the only one who's already dreading labor.  This time I'm doing things differently, though I'll still be delivering with the same group of midwives at the same hospital.  I'm preparing myself differently and I'm going in with fewer expectations, but more knowledge.  I'm really hoping the Hypnobabies affirmations will help dispell some of my negativity towards birth.</p>

 

[CarrieCo]

<p>I'm the opposite of you ladies .... I'm looking forward to this labor and birth.  I get to try for a natural home water birth with a doula .... last time I had to have a c-section and that was horrifying and traumatic for me.  So, I'm looking forward to doing this differently even if I have to deliver this baby breech!!!   I'm hoping to prepare with hypno babies as well!</p>

 

[Novus]

<p>I'm actually looking forward to the labor too, but I also looked forward to the labor last time.  Weird, I know.  What I'm NOT looking forward to is the postpartum recovery period and the early days/weeks/months of BFing...that's what killed me last time.</p>

 

[staryla]

<p>OMG!  While on his subject I just remembered something about the afterbirth part of labor that I had blissfully managed to forget.   After delivering the placenta the midwives forcibly palpated my abdomen and uterus.  I swear that part was worse than the labor pains and the pushing combined!  I was trying not to squeeze my baby too hard because of the pain they were putting me through.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I felt very betrayed, like, I've just gone through the hardest event in my life and now there's more??!  I think I even told them to stop and get away from me (which is very unlike my normal restrained self!)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think this is normal practice, but I've never heard any other moms complain about it.  I don't know why it was so very painful for me.  Do you non-first-timers remember this?</p>

 

[pjs]

<p>I'm not looking forward to delivering in a hospital though I have made peace with it after having 3 waterbirths (2 at home, 1 of which was unassisted, and the other at a bc).  I have bp issues/pre-e and I think I really pushed my luck with my last hb and am unwilling to try it again.  The mw on call was a bit more aggressive than I was comfortable with in terms of not transporting (sky high BP- well over 180) and the other mw, who would've probably transported, was out of town.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Luckily I have fast labors so hopefully if there aren't any bp issues afterwards, I'll be able to head home asap.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>BTW- I guess I should introduce myself- I'm mama to 4 and just got a bfp on 11/28, so technically I'm in the August DDC (8/14) but it's not up yet! </p>

 

[new2texas]

<p><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>staryla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282358/already-not-looking-forward-to-labor#post_16084944"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>OMG!  While on his subject I just remembered something about the afterbirth part of labor that I had blissfully managed to forget.   After delivering the placenta the midwives forcibly palpated my abdomen and uterus.  I swear that part was worse than the labor pains and the pushing combined!  I was trying not to squeeze my baby too hard because of the pain they were putting me through.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I felt very betrayed, like, I've just gone through the hardest event in my life and now there's more??!  I think I even told them to stop and get away from me (which is very unlike my normal restrained self!)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I think this is normal practice, but I've never heard any other moms complain about it.  I don't know why it was so very painful for me.  Do you non-first-timers remember this?</p>
</div>
</div>
<p><br>
This is totally normal and is HORRIBLE!  It's so not fair that once you're done delivering the baby you have to put up with this as well as the after pains of your uterus contracting back.</p>

 

[awallrising]

<p>shells n cheese    I can understand your fears.  I had an emer C-section & although I wanted to have a water birth, I am afraid of labor now.  Each labor is different thought right?  So the next one may not be like the others at all.  We need to project positive energy, right?  Have you read any of Ina May's books?  She talks a lot about using positive thinking & imagery to have a smooth birth.  If we are anxious & fearful that could leave to problems with the birth.  You have plenty of time to get your head in the right place.  Good luck!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Staryla- Yes, I have heard of that.  I think there are solid reasons why they do that (like preventing hemmoraging), but they should have fully prepared you for it.  You definitely should have had a few moments of peace after birthing a baby.  I would have screamed my head off if that happened to me.</p>

 

[Ekatherina]

<p>it's strange my first was in the hospital and the nurses were super-supportive and they sew and I never felt anything and they pushed a little on my uterus and it wasn't painful at all! all the time I was super happy and enjoying my baby. the second time I delivered with a mw at home, after birth she sew me and it was horribly painful (although she did give me anasthesia as well) and she did pushed horribly on my uterus which made me want to run away, i even dont remember my first moments with dd  being in so much pain <img alt="headscratch.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/headscratch.gif"></p>

 

[kawa kamuri]

<p>After a traumatic 3rd birth I was terrified to be pregnant with #4. Hypnobabies made all the difference for me both in labour and throughout pregnancy with getting me in a great mindset. I went on to have a powerful and positive birth. </p>

 

[dayiscoming2006]

<p>DDCC</p>
<p>Well, I'm looking forward to this time because I'm hoping to be giving birth unassisted. That is what sounds the least scary to me. I've had 2 crappy hospital experiences. With my first child it left me with a year of recovering over a stupid episiotomy I'm certain I didn't need and I was also encouraged to take pitocin during the birth because I was laboring too slowly for their schedule. </p>
<p>The second one was downright traumatic not because of labor and delivery but because of the doctor interfering at the end and they took my baby away for 14 hours and left me alone in a room after giving me a d and c because I was starting to hemmorage due to them being really forceful about getting my placenta out quickly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, anyway, I understand why you want to make sure someone is there to help you through your birth but I'm glad no one will be there at mine. I've had 2 uncomplicated deliveries in reality. Any "complications" were caused by the interferences from the doctors. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Really though, although childbirth is painful. (I was feeling painful contractions before I went into labor for a couple weeks off and on.) I think it is absolutely worth it. I think the best thing is to try to stay calm and I think there is a level of control over how we react to any pain we may feel. I think we can really intensify the feelings of pain when we focus to much on how painful we think it is. I think it's better to distract yourself somehow and just keep in mind that you will have a beautiful little one in the end as your encouragement to get through it. I felt really good about my labor and even about pushing which I started on my own the second time around. I was in a hands and knees position til they flipped me over against my will at the end. I really think that positioning helped a lot with the pain. The most painful parts of the birth for me were transition which is to be expected but thankfully doesn't last that long and then the d and c was pretty horrifying. </p>
<p>I'd try staying upright during labor and delivery. That really helped me a ton. And this time around I plan to have music, to try to play with my kids and to keep up conversation with my husband and maybe I'll even call my friends during as a distraction. So there you go, distract yourself from the pain, try to keep a positive outlook despite your past experiences and keep in positions that help move things along and help with pain relief.</p>