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Anytime I have any inkling of a feeling like, "What in the world am I doing?", I just remember birth with dd: in a hospital with bright lights, lots of nurses, ruptured waters, episiotomy, vacuum extraction, etc (unwanted the first time around). Then not getting to bond with dd for over 3 hours. She had to be in the nursery "for observation."

That puts it into perspective for me. I think, "I just want to be at home. I want to relax. I want to bond with the baby."

I really want for the environment to be soothing--not so shocking for the little one. I don't want to cut the cord immediately or put stuff in the eyes (they did with dd).

All of the I-don't-want-to things reassure me. I know I am doing the right thing. I know I won't be alone--even if I'm physically alone. I believe in guardian angels, etc.

I know my body knows how to do this. I just have to get my head out of the way and allow it happen. Here's a good affirmation: "Just get out of your own way, and let it happen."

I know we can do this. People do this all the time all over the world and have been doing it for a long, long time. We can do it.
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