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Discussion Starter #1
I love nursing my baby during the day. I have 13 hours of class a week otherwise I am home with her snuggling etc. But I really don't want to nurse my 9mo to sleep every night. We honestly lay there for about an hour. Then I sneak out of the room, and if it doesn't wake her up, she'll sleep for 15-30 mins and then wake up again. So I return, nurse her for a while and then sneak out to get some hmwk done. She will continue to wake up every hour and eventually I get so tired/annoyed/ frustrated I go to bed too. I would never let her CIO, but nursing her to sleep is sooooo tedious. BTW it doesn't matter how tired she is, or how late it is, she will take a long time to fall asleep. AHHHH<br><br>
Any alternatives or should I just find ways to deal with it?
 

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At only 9 months I'd find a way to deal with it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
-Angela
 

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For what it's worth I talked to a friend of mine who was studying midwifery when her babe was around that old, and she said she was miserable and resentful - until she realized this is just how it is, that nursing her babe back to sleep is just part of the deal.<br><br>
Are there any books you can take in with you so the time isn't totally "wasted", school-wise? (Because no time spent nurturing our children is ever fully a waste!)
 

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The NCSS is supposed to help break the nursing-to-sleep association. Hasn't done it for us yet, but has improved our nights tremendously...I know ds is working on it though..lately he'll stop nursing and try to roll over and fall asleep on his own (during the nigt he sometimes can do it), but usually he just gets frustrated. He keeps trying though and I know he's getting it, which is a good thing b/c I will be going back to work nights in a month or two so he'll need to be able to get himself to sleep by then.<br><br>
Maybe try working with her methods...takes a while, but seems to be working.
 

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my DD is almost 1 year and is still much the same as you described. I spend about an hour nursing her to sleep every night, unless she is really tired, then sometimes it doesn't take as long. She then frequently wakes up every hour or so until I come to bed. I found I was less frustrated once I started downloading books on tape onto my ipod. I couldn't read while nursing (she would NEVER allow that <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"> ), but she couldn't see the earbuds so I could listen to my hearts content. It probably wouldn't help with your homework, but listening to a book might engage your mind and help you feel less frustrated.<br><br>
Good Luck!
 

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Honestly I hate to say this but Ihad to just learn to deal with it. DD is 11 months and has been nursed to sleep from day 1. She nurses through out the night too, like literally attatched to the boob ALL night.<br>
my boobs havent seen the inside of my jammie shirt in 11 months ! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
I have tried to wean her off of the night nursings and jsut rock her or give he a sippy with water, but she just cries and when she cries she gets SOO upset, then I get upset and we both are crying.<br><br>
I have a 4yo to tend to as well and I have found that nursing her works much better for us. She calms down and goes to sleep and I can usually lay her in the crib for about 30 mins so that I can tend to DS and get him bathed, jammies, milk etc and get him into bed. If and when she wakes in between I tend to her and nurse her down again and then lay her back down and go finish what I was doing.<br><br>
When she wakes again after I am finished then I bring her into the bed with me and that is where she stays the rest of the night.<br><br>
t works for us.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>HnKsMama</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10296733"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">DD is 11 months and has been nursed to sleep from day 1. She nurses through out the night too, like literally attatched to the boob ALL night.<br>
my boobs havent seen the inside of my jammie shirt in 11 months ! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br></div>
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Ditto for me and my 11 month old.<br>
And I thought I was the only one!!!<br><br>
It has gotten better though. we had to move dd to her crib and now instead of waking up screaming, she wakes up and whimpers until I come in to get her. She is SUCH a light sleeper, having her in her own room is really the only way she will go to sleep and stay asleep (at least for an hour or two). We moved a recliner in her room and this really helps when I nurse her back to sleep. But I always try to shhh her and rock her standing up first, which works sometimes. But if I sit down, she wants to nurse. I can tell, though, that it is only to go immediately back to sleep b/c she doesn't really suck, just wants the nipple in her mouth. I have determined this is why I was having so much nipple soreness when we would nurse in bed together.<br><br>
Annah
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Arwyn</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10296133"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">...this is just how it is, that nursing her babe back to sleep is just part of the deal.</div>
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Yep, and at that young, especially, there's really nothing you can do.<br><br>
I totally empathize with you, though. I'm a full time student as well, and still nurse my 2.5 year old to sleep. Have you tried studying in the bedroom where she is sleeping? Or tried some type of background noise(music, fan, etc.)? Those things seem to help my daughter sleep longer stretches.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Thanks for the responses. I know in my heart that I need to just nurse her each night, because that's how she feel most comfortable. I just get so frustrated sometimes, but I know that it is time spent well.
 

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I"m gonna be the voice of dissent here.<br><br>
I think you CAN attempt other options at 9 months. That is FIIIIINNNNEEE.<br><br>
An hour of nursing and then 15 min of sleeping and then every hour all through the night is NOT nutritive nursing ALL. THE. TIME.<br><br>
So, I am going to recommend that you read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly and pay special attention to the part where she reccommends taking the nipple out of her mouth and if she's not "rooting" (or doing certain things to try and prevent this) or crying then you can slip away.<br><br>
I would also recommend cosleeping, as sometimes all ds needs is to roll over and feel me there and I pat his back for a second or two (he doesn't CRY he just fusses a bit) and he is back asleep...or he will scoot over to me and cuddle up with me and we'll both fall asleep again. I am NOOOOOT saying to CIO. Not at all. ANY amount of crying is not okay. Of course, as Dr. Sears says, there is a difference between CIO and crying in the loving arms of a parent.<br><br>
DD was the ALL.NIGHT. NURSER. so I hear you. I weaned her at 16 months because of that mainly. There were other issues, but I was so tired and over it and if I had tried these things earlier perhaps she could have nursed longer.<br><br>
For her I tried rocking her in a glider. Pacing the halls with her. Reading her stories. Offering a sippy cup of water and/or juice (I know...but it was watered down juice and this was only after water had totally lost it's appeal) and any combination of those things. I would try to either nurse first and then unhook myself from her mouth and try an alternative or try the alternative first depending on where we were in the night as far as nursing and how much I was able to handle.<br><br>
Good luck mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up">
 

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I am really thankful for this thread as I am going through this too. I used to nurse DD to sleep at 7:30pm and she would stay asleep until about 3am, nurse once, then go back to sleep till the morning. At around 6 months this all changed so now she wakes up anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes after I nurse her down and she continues this until I go to bed, then she's up every 2 or 3 hours until morning. It's cutting into the time my husband and I have together in the evenings and making for a really restless sleep during the night. It's driving me a bit crazy. I am just happy to hear I am not the only one going through this. I keep telling myself "This too shall pass", and I hope it passes soon!!!
 

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I agree that nursing to sleep is a wonderful thing for baby (our 21 month old still NtS even), but nursing to STAY asleep is a habit that can be gently broken, if that's part of the problem. The NCSS has some good tips on how to handle this. I'm glad you're going to keep letting your 9 month old nurse to sleep, but it's worth a shot if you're concerned he needs to nurse to stay asleep, to look at unlatching him gently (let him relatch if he fusses -- then repeat until no fussing) after he's asleep. To me there's a big difference between nursing to fall asleep and nursing to <i>stay</i> asleep. Nursing to stay asleep is an exhausting thing, I know, but one that can be gently changed.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
I will borrow the NCSS from my friend. I do co sleep, I just go to bed later than dd <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> To get down to the details, I do lay on my side nursing her at bedtime. When she stops suckling I wait for a few mins, holding my breath, and then I pull away and get slowly rise. Sometimes, I don't make it out the door without her waking, sometimes I do. I have tried hanging out in the bed for a long time even after she stops suckling. This is not a guarantee that she will be in a deeper sleep. I don't mind nursing her to sleep, once or even twice, it's the repeated instances throughout the night which frustrate me.
 

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Discussion Starter #14
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Arwyn</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10296133"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Are there any books you can take in with you so the time isn't totally "wasted", school-wise? (Because no time spent nurturing our children is ever fully a waste!)</div>
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I will try taking a school book in, because lying there thinking about my homework is a large part of the stress, so I think this is a really good idea.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jul511riv</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10297099"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">An hour of nursing and then 15 min of sleeping and then every hour all through the night is NOT nutritive nursing ALL. THE. TIME.</div>
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Whoever said nursing is just for nutrition?<br><br>
For the record, I've done the "are you asleep? good, now let me have my nipple" thing since the beginning, because otherwise I would have weaned or ended up in the mental hospital (that's not a joke), but I don't think it's fair or right to say that if a baby isn't nursing for food then they don't need it. It is good to look for other options to help baby sleep longer, of course, and to get all needs met. But babies also want/need to nurse at least a few times throughout the night. Some more than others.<br><br>
sacredjourney - do you have a partner? Can s/he snuggle the little one in bed when you leave? That's how I manage to roll over or get up to pee at night; once Naked Baby is unlatched, my partner puts his arm around him so the little one still has the warmth and smell and comfort of a parent to help him sleep. If not, maybe you could try having her cuddle a shirt or pillow that smells like you.<br><br>
Just another couple ideas...
 

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it sounds like getting her to sleep isn't the problem. yeah, it does take longer when the child is anxois because she knows you are going to leave her there as soon as she falls asleep. But she does go to sleep. I think maybe she is waking up because she misses you. Mine do that too every time I try to leave them in bed by themselves. If you could put her in a sling and lay down in bed and nurse her to sleep, then take her with you very carefully after she has gone to sleep (still in the sling) then she might stay asleep and let you get some work done since she is close to you and so when she rouses a little she won't be alarmed by being alone and wake up to cry.
 

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Most of the time I nurse my baby to sleep...but sometimes I sling/bounce him while watching tv. Then I put him in my bed....and sometimes he'll stay asleep. Sometimes I have to run back in and give him a boob until he is asleep "again"...<br><br>
I know from my DD that it takes TIME! frustrating at times....it'll pass. When is the question!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>jul511riv</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10297099"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I"m gonna be the voice of dissent here.<br><br>
I think you CAN attempt other options at 9 months. That is FIIIIINNNNEEE.<br><br>
An hour of nursing and then 15 min of sleeping and then every hour all through the night is NOT nutritive nursing ALL. THE. TIME.<br><br>
So, I am going to recommend that you read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly and pay special attention to the part where she reccommends taking the nipple out of her mouth and if she's not "rooting" (or doing certain things to try and prevent this) or crying then you can slip away.<br><br>
I would also recommend cosleeping, as sometimes all ds needs is to roll over and feel me there and I pat his back for a second or two (he doesn't CRY he just fusses a bit) and he is back asleep...or he will scoot over to me and cuddle up with me and we'll both fall asleep again. I am NOOOOOT saying to CIO. Not at all. ANY amount of crying is not okay. Of course, as Dr. Sears says, there is a difference between CIO and crying in the loving arms of a parent.<br><br>
DD was the ALL.NIGHT. NURSER. so I hear you. I weaned her at 16 months because of that mainly. There were other issues, but I was so tired and over it and if I had tried these things earlier perhaps she could have nursed longer.<br><br>
For her I tried rocking her in a glider. Pacing the halls with her. Reading her stories. Offering a sippy cup of water and/or juice (I know...but it was watered down juice and this was only after water had totally lost it's appeal) and any combination of those things. I would try to either nurse first and then unhook myself from her mouth and try an alternative or try the alternative first depending on where we were in the night as far as nursing and how much I was able to handle.<br><br>
Good luck mama. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="thumbs up"></div>
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I agree at this point. Sometimes all the nursing back to sleep night wakings does start to damage other relationships and actual sleep. We are going through this right now and it is driving me nuts. As soon as things calm down a wee bit we are going to follow a written sleep plan based on the NCSS. I don't mind nursing her to sleep but needing the boob to put herself back to sleep is the problem...
 

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When my DS was about that age, I read the NCSS and found there were some helpful tips in it that did help me get some of my own ideas that were more specific to my own child. Some helped, many didn't. One thing I don't think anyone else mentioned yet -- have you tried putting something that smells like you in bed with her when you leave the room? That might help.<br><br>
Also, don't forget to consider things like teething. You may not know it, but your baby could be getting those first teeth in and just really needs that sucking motion to feel better. That's what we finally figured out was causing my DS to wake to nurse so often when he was that age -- his first teeth popped out shortly thereafter. He has continued to need to nurse much more often every time a tooth starts to come in.<br><br>
Good luck to you.
 

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There have been some good suggestions so far already. I second trying the white noise - we had a fan on when ds was about 9 mo, and that did seem to help us get slightly longer stretches of sleep.<br><br>
For what it's worth, our scenario was exactly the same as yours, especially bad between 8 and 9 months when he crawled, broke out 6 teeth and started walking within the space of about 6 weeks.<br><br>
I didn't try anything to change it, though I did get frustrated often. Now ds is 21 months, still nurses to sleep and usually 3 times overnight, but he typically pulls away and rolls over before going to sleep fully. So now it is MUCH better, but it was a gradual process.<br><br>
I was lucky, though, I didn't need to study. This obviously adds stress to your situation. My hat is off to you. Good luck to you and your babe.
 
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