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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My DS is registered for preschool in the fall but I'm still going round and round. I never knew I'd be so torn about school. I keep going back to homeschool inforamtion and talking to homeschoolers. All the kids I've encountered seem so centered and well rounded. I'm rambling....

I was talking this morning to mom about it and another mom (who is a teacher) told me that from her perspective it's better when kids go to preschool so they will be ready for kindergarten. If kids have just been with mom they don't know how to sit still, follow directions, wait turns, and keep quiet. She didn't mention anything about how they were academically btw. I looked at her thinking that's not what I think is important. I don't want my child's "success" based on whether he can sit still for hours, not talk without permission, etc. Then she said that she doesn't see how a mom can be a good teacher because you'd be biased when grading their work. She said as a mom you won't be able to give your child a bad grade. Here's where I said that education is not about grades. It's about a child understanding concepts and learning. It's not about whether this child understands on an "A" level while this child understands on a "D" level. It's simply that a child understands and can build from that understanding. Golly, did any of that make sense?

So does this way of thinking mean that I do believe that homeschooling is best for my children and that I should give myself the full go ahead to pursue it?
 

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lol, you sure sound like a homeschoolin mama to me! I guess you just need to really decide if it's what you want to do. It's a big decision, but remember, you can always change your mind either way, if it isn't working for your little one.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe

So does this way of thinking mean that I do believe that homeschooling is best for my children and that I should give myself the full go ahead to pursue it?
Yes.

But, then again, I may be "biased"
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe
I don't want my child's "success" based on whether he can sit still for hours, not talk without permission, etc. ...education is not about grades. It's about a child understanding concepts and learning. It's not about whether this child understands on an "A" level while this child understands on a "D" level. It's simply that a child understands and can build from that understanding.

If that is your crazy way of looking at learning
, you might find being an away-school mom a tough row to hoe!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe
If kids have just been with mom they don't know how to sit still, follow directions, wait turns, and keep quiet.
:

My kids learned to sit still by being read to from wonderful books. They learned to follow directions by cooking together, working on crafts together, and other real life experiences. Taking turns was the most difficult thing on your list for my kids, but they have gradually worked it out. There are two of them and they often have friends over so they've had many opportunities to develope this tricky skill. Keeping quiet was never one of my big goals for my kids, but they amazed me at things like puppet shows and children's theatre by behaving so well simply because they were interested in what was happening, not because it was something we "worked on."

My kids were better at all those skills at K age than most of their peers. Part of it, no doubt, is just their temperments. I have friends who have raised their kids the same way and some of them (esp of the boys) had no interest in sitting still or being quiet at all at the age of 5. I don't think preschool would have made any different though -- they just needed to climb on things!

We don't do grades or grade levels. They just don't make sense to me.
 

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I agree with the pps, if you feel the way you do about grades & success, regular public schooling will be hard on you. You said you're going round and round. May I ask, what are some of your hesitations?

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So does this way of thinking mean that I do believe that homeschooling is best for my children and that I should give myself the full go ahead to pursue it?
Again, I don't want to assume, but it sounds here like you want to homeschool, but something is holding you back -- actually my first thought was it sounds like *you* would prefer to do hs, but you're not sure if it's right for your kids. Sorry if I'm way off! But maybe if we know what is holding you back, we can share our experiences or direct you to articles that will help. Sometimes I wonder who is having more fun/learning more -- me, or the kids. LOL! And it has been hard, surprisingly, to relax and realize, hey, this hsing thing is better when we all have fun together. You know, things that are great & fun are supposed to be frivolous, and school/learning should be hard work. Guess where I learned that?
: I do hard learning work now, but it is also enjoyable, because I am choosing it and directing myself.
Anyway, sorry to get off on a tangent, HTH
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Ok, I guess I'm definately a homeschooler at heart. Do I think homeschool is best for my kids? Yes.

At least for now. I have to remember, like RV said, I can always change according what is best at that time.

What's holding me back? Several things I would say. First is there is not a big homeschool community close to me. I am being honest with myself to admit that *I* need structure to follow through with things. I'm not creative and lack self discipline. I know I need a group of others around me to help me along. I've found a group about 30-40 miles from here that seems to be what I'm looking for. Is that too far? I need a support group.

Here's the selfish part. I wonder about my education and career. I always thought that when my children were older I'd go to grad school and get a job in my field. Do I give up that goal? Is it a good goal? Is it what I really want? Do I want to be at home at all times for my kids or do I want a career at some point?

I thought I had it all figured out. I'd stay home until my kids started school and then I'd get started on my career. Now that idea is changing. I'm saying I'd like to homeschool and I never ever thought I would consider it.


It seems this path of motherhood is constantly changing and evolving. I'm doing things I thought were crazy back before my "enlightenment" I nursed my oldest until he was three and I when I first started breastfeeding I thought I would never do that. When I was first time pg there was a couple planning a homebirth and I thought they were so irresponsible, and three years later I had a HBAC. I tantum nursed. I question Drs and seek alternative treatments, I co-sleep. Bottom line is I turned into one of those freakish AP mamas! I never dreamed I'd be a freak! :LOL Now I'm considering homeschooling?! What's wrong with me?


It's not always easy when your ideals change. I'm struggling with who I am and who I always pictured I would be.

Does that make any sense? Does that make me selfish?
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe
Then she said that she doesn't see how a mom can be a good teacher because you'd be biased when grading their work.
:
:


could she be any MORE missing the point?

KH, you know you're not being selfish just because you're thinking about your own needs and plans. It sounds to me like you're falling into a common (for me) mind trap - trying to plan farther ahead than you need to. You can take hsing a year at a time. Just have fun while the kiddos are young.


I don't think 30-40 minutes is too far for support if you're just going weekly or less. I think you will find the self-discipline to make a plan as-needed. You can do that just like you did all those other challenging things because you wanted what worked for your kids.

Hsing is just messy. It is so hard to have a firm plan and not have it backfire. It's so fluid, it has to be taken a bit at a time. That's hard but if you focus on connection and fun, you can do it
 

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Does that make you selfish? No. Not at all. Your happiness and fulfillment is a very important example and lesson to your children.

That being said, if you do think homeschool is the best choice for your children, but you don't want to put off your educational goals, the two aren't mutually exclusive. I'm doing a fair amount of studying at the moment to figure out how I want to homeschool, and I was reading and taking notes yesterday afternoon. I was going to share some of it on this forum, but this quote in particular I want to share here. The authors are actually talking about not pushing your kids, letting them set the pace, and not keeping up with the Jones...

Quote:
[F]ocus your energy, discipline and deep, burning desire to stay ahead on yourself instead of on the kids. Set yourself an educational plan and force yourself to comply. This way you'll get the education you always deserved and they'll get the example they need. Keep yourself busy enough getting your own education that you can let the children enjoy their childhood and fall in love with learning during their youth.
(From "Core and Love of Learning: A Recipe for Success" by Oliver & Rachel DeMille, pg. 38.)

I keep trying to write more, but it always comes out as basically "Kleine Hexe, you should homeschool, here's why and here's how," lol, and I don't want to be pushy. But if you need that push, feel free to ask me


I am the same way with structure and following through. I have given myself time to both work on developing those skills and learn to let go of being perfectly organized and on-track. Do you mean you would want curricula to help you along, or more structure than that? I am very lucky, there are a few homeschooling groups in my community. They are there because a couple of moms decided they needed a group, got the word out, and they have grown. Maybe there are more wanna-be homeschoolers in your area who just wished they had a group? You can always attend the group you found while still trying to build one up closer to where you live.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe


What's holding me back? Several things I would say. First is there is not a big homeschool community close to me.
Not near me either. We travel 1/2 -- 1 hour for homeschooling groups. We've gotten used to it.

Quote:
I wonder about my education and career. I always thought that when my children were older I'd go to grad school and get a job in my field. Do I give up that goal? Is it a good goal? Is it what I really want? Do I want to be at home at all times for my kids or do I want a career at some point?
When I became a sahm, my plan was to get another degree and get back into the workforce when my kids went to school. I ended up having another baby while working on that degree and then leaving grad school to homeschool. The career thing was something I wanted, and it was a good goal, but things change (I changed) and I've found I'm really happy with the way things are now. Of course, there's nothing that says you can't go to school in the evenings, or weekends, or when the kids are older. Ditto for the career. Your kids won't need constant supervision forever.

Quote:
I thought I had it all figured out. I'd stay home until my kids started school and then I'd get started on my career. Now that idea is changing...
...It's not always easy when your ideals change. I'm struggling with who I am and who I always pictured I would be.
If we never grew or changed, if we never learned anything new, or challenged our beliefs, then we'd all be able to make a life plan at the age of 5 and stick with it. Fortunately, life's much more exciting than that.


Good luck with your decision.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Kleine Hexe

I was talking this morning to mom about it and another mom (who is a teacher) told me that from her perspective it's better when kids go to preschool so they will be ready for kindergarten. If kids have just been with mom they don't know how to sit still, follow directions, wait turns, and keep quiet. She didn't mention anything about how they were academically btw. I looked at her thinking that's not what I think is important. I don't want my child's "success" based on whether he can sit still for hours, not talk without permission, etc.
So, this one always get me! I've heard this too. How does that explain why I'm always getting compliments from her Sunday School teachers about how she will sit still for stories, work hard to complete projects in class, and how she really listens and absorbs while other kids are running around? Meanwhile I've worked in preschool classes where some of the kids who've been there for years still can't sit still. I really think this is a developmental skill and personality trait. I, too, get funny looks when I tell people I'm not into blind obedience (most of the time!
: ), and that I think she needs lots of time to just run around.
 

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My mom took night college classes the for many years while she was a SAHM when I was growing up. I went to her graduation when I was 13. Why not look into doing the same thing? You can take 2 or 3 classes a semester, either in the evening or online and still be with the kids during the day.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks so much everyone. I feel much better. It's hard to admit that as a mom you also are still a person with wants and desires.

I've contacted a homeschool group and I've been emailing with one of the moms. We seem to have a lot in common. I've been doing more reading about homeschooling and I get excited about it. My DH isn't so sure I can/should do it because he says I get frazzled with the kids. Geepers, every mom gets frazzled! I told him to hire a housekeeper and I wouldn't be so frazzled. :LOL Ultimately he said he doesn't care one way or the other. He says he trusts my decision.

At the same music class I started the thread with there was another mom who had been listening and she agreed with me after the teacher left. She said she was looking for the same thing I was and would love to do stuff together. Her two oldest are 5 and 4.

I talked to my mom about it and I was very surprised that she thought it was a great idea. I thought she would be against homeschooling.

When I tell my DS that he's signed up for preschool he tells me he's not going because he doesn't like school.

I'm looking forward to finding out more about the group I found. As long as I'm out and about and actually doing stuff then I won't lose my mind. I'm not a stay at home kind of person. :LOL

Yesterday, just for the heck of it I took a printed paper that was garbage and started a pattern. I took a highlighter and highlighted one line and then made two dots and then a line and then two dots. I showed it to DS and asked if he wanted to continue. I was amazed that he actually completed the whole paper with the correct pattern. I've never even mentioned patterns before.

Thanks again. I'm sure I'll be lurking here trying to absurb everything.
 

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I learned a very interesting tidbit at convention about young children and neurology.

You know how a 4, 5, 6 year old talks to themselves all day long? It is the way that the child learns to listen to his thoughts. He has to verbalize them to hear them. He will learn that skill over those couple of years. It is just like when you read something when you are tired and you have NO idea what you read. You didn't hear your thoughts due to fatigue.

So, what happens when you put a child in preschool or kindergarten? The first thing that they are told to do is sit down and be quiet. The child is no longer allowed to verbalize his thoughts, his neurological need. So he can't hear his thoughts.

I find this very interesting. And now I know that when I hear my little ones talking away to themselves that they are growing and learning.
 

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That stinks about the reg fee, really, but how exciting - it sounds like you've made up your mind to keep the kiddo home a while longer. You might really like this home-ed list (my total favorite. Tons of fluff mixed in with hsing stuff) - visit www.madrone.com and click the link for Home-ed
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Well, I did it. I contacted the preschool and told them DS will not be attending. I feel good about it.
I look forward to finding and using cool stuff and I'm trying not to become overloaded. :LOL

So now I am really an all out "freak"...I homebirth, breastfeed till my child grows a beard, co-sleep, coth diaper, non-vax, GD, organic food, and now homeschool. There's no saving me now!
 
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