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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>famousmockngbrd</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">ICM, like what?</div>
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Well, there are lots of things that *I*, personally, feel are manipulative. I don't, however, think GD is generally manipulative at all. But, I can answer the question with a few examples of things that I often see recommended that I feel are manipulative...<br><br>
-Changing the subject/distraction<br><br>
-Giving choices when it gives the illusion of total control<br><br>
-I've seen bribery and praise being used or suggested quite often but I'm not entirely sure if this falls in the category of GD<br><br>
BUT, I'm using the word manipulative but I think this word is a little more loaded than what I mean. In these cases I don't feel 'manipulation' is such a big deal but I, personally, feel better acknowledging *for myself* that these things are manipulative when I choose use them ~ that's all.<br><br>
Just to be clear, my statement wasn't some loaded thing intended to make a big dig at GD. I think I just have rather strict ideas of what is coercive or manipulate when I relate to people.<br><br>
Remember the logic thread...manipulation (false logic) is something that I sense we all do (myself included). I think it's really, really common...not always bad ~ but something that is probably best to be aware of, yk? Interesting that your DH is the logic guru ~ I'm curious if he thinks it's related?<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>famousmockngbrd</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">But also, he is an only child and I want him to be used to sharing his stuff. I want him to see that relationships are give and take, not all me give and him take, yk?<br></div>
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First, I want to ask if your son is having some problems with sharing or if you're just worried because of other things (only child)? I actually think this is a really important question.<br><br>
I’m not sure about the drink. My feeling is that you should probably just ask him to share when you really want some. That way, there are some built in natural consequences, like you having to stop what you're doing with him to get another drink or make something to eat if he doesn't want to share.<br><br>
You could play some sharing games, though. Tea parties are good as are serving foods that you can share together. I also modeled sharing with DC or friends. One time Aya and her friend were fighting over a toy and the other mother and I exaggeratedly shared stuff for a while...they loved this game.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>famousmockngbrd</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">And if so, is that as bad as it sounds?</div>
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So, I guess my final answer is...*maybe*...but no, it's not as bad as it sounds. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br><br><br>
But, there's another issue here. If this is your *style* and something that you both enjoy...I can't see a big issue. Even if you did feel this was manipulative, you've got to be real with your child. I really don't see a big issue with this one thing and to sacrifice something that feels natural to you in favor of some 'strategy' is not a choice I would make.<br><br><br><br>
Oh, my this is long...sorry! Have a good day, H.