Am I being over protective?

830 Views 14 Replies 14 Participants Last post by grisandole, Jun 20, 2004

Irishmommy

Discussion Starter · Jun 17, 2004

Dd is nine. She is in Girl Guides and they are going on a camping trip next weekend, about a 45 minute drive away. There are maybe 12 girls in 2 or three tents, and three leaders in 2 or three tents. I've been told that they will be set up in a U shape, with a leader at each end and one in the middle. Leaders and guides are NOT allowed in each others' tents. This is their first trip in tents as opposed to a building, in a pretty isolated place.

The kit list that came home said, among other things, that cell phones are not allowed, and any guide with one will be sent home. I'm reasonably good friends with one leader, but the big kahuna leader I don't really know.

I spoke with my friend about the cell phone issue, as I want the option of sending one with dd. My concern is (albeit farfetched) that during the night the tent being cut open and a kid being taken, or dd being scared of something, or whatever. It would not be for regular use, only for what dd would consider an emergency (she's pretty sensible for things like that), where they might not be able to yell for a leader/leader might not hear them.

Anyway, they had a meeting tonight at the big kahuna's house - end of year party. When I was picking dd up, I spoke to the leader about it, and told her that dd might be bringing one. She told me that it would be confiscated. We got into it a bit, and she said that they would be right there (in their own tent, asleep), that the other kids might make calls on it, etc. I got ticked, and told her my what ifs, and that dd WOULD have a cell phone, and WOULD be keeping it. Mind you, until she got snotty, it was only an idea on my part.

All this took place in front of the other two leaders, all the girls, and at least one parent, which was probably not the best of ideas. I was getting upset by then, so didn't bother listing off all the names of young girls and women who have been kidnapped and killed in the past few years.

Anyway, am I overreacting? Would you insist on a cell phone? I fully trust the leaders to take care of the kids when they are awake, but they have to sleep sometime.

Oh, and on top of all this, I don't even know if our phone will have signal where they are going!

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Arduinna

· #2 · Jun 17, 2004

I understand your concern, but I think you are overreacting. Even if something did happen (which is extremely unlikely) what is a cell phone really going to do, even if it worked where they are? It's not like there will be a police substation 2 minutes from the camp site. And it sounds like there will be about 6 girls per tent. That is definately enough that they would be able to notify the other campers if anything strange happened.

In all honesty I think kids are in more danger walking in their neighborhood than they are camping.

oceanbaby

· #3 · Jun 17, 2004

I don't understand why they are so dead set against cell phones?

jeca

· #4 · Jun 17, 2004

Will anyone have a cell phone, like any of the leaders or something?If so and they agreed to let them use theirs if she felt scared on uncomfartble would that make you feel better. That's what I would have suggested if I was the leader.

stillnominivan

· #5 · Jun 17, 2004

If it's all about "calling for help" if needed, how about a whistle?

kofduke

· #6 · Jun 17, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by stillnominivan
If it's all about "calling for help" if needed, how about a whistle?

That sounds like a great idea. She may not have cell phone service, and even if she does, it may take time for someone to reach her. If she has a whistle, it'll wake the leaders (since your concern is that they'll be sleeping), who will be right there to help her out.

Piglet68

· #7 · Jun 17, 2004

Well, I went to my first summer camp when I was 9 years old. We didn't have cell phones back then, but the camp did have CB's and those sorts of radios to use if necessary (it was on an island).

I just don't understand why at least a leader or two could not have a cell phone in case of emergency. I can see them not wanting the girls spending their camping trip gabbing...but for emergency use only, well I can't see the harm in that.

I'm sorry the confrontation ended like that. You'll probably get the reputation as the cell phone lady now, lol...don't worry, we do what we can to protect our kids, and that's all you were doing. You go, mama!

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MamaSoleil

· #8 · Jun 17, 2004

Quote:

You'll probably get the reputation as the cell phone lady now, lol..

:LOL

I would feel better if one of the leaders had a sat phone, or a cell, in case of emergencies. I think a whistle is a great idea! Good luck.

srain

· #9 · Jun 17, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Arduinna
Even if something did happen (which is extremely unlikely) what is a cell phone really going to do, even if it worked where they are? ...
In all honesty I think kids are in more danger walking in their neighborhood than they are camping.

Me too. I don't want to be unsupportive, but I think you're overreacting. Have cell phones really decreased crime?

manitoba_mommy

· #10 · Jun 17, 2004

I went to guide camp many times between the ages of 8 and 12 and let me tell you, the leaders never miss a trick! They can hear a chip bag opening, under covers, in the dead of the night, when you are trying to keep it quiet, never mind a knife wielding lunatic!

As long as someone has a phone, and they usualy do I think, I would just send a whistle. Actualy, a whistle is a good idea for anyone going camping.

MM

fourgrtkidos

· #11 · Jun 17, 2004

I totally understand how you are feeling and probably would have reacted the same way in your situation. But, these other level headed mommas have great replies. I wish I were as calm and cool headed as they. When it comes to my kids , I am overprotective to a fault.

I think the whistle idea is great. I thought all Girl Scouts had to have one while camping?

As a leader, I always have a cell while camping. Although in a real emergency I can't imagine it would do much good to be using it to call instead of dealing directly with the situation. I think the cell phone comes in after the action is over. It is usually so quiet while camping, you can hear footsteps approaching , people snoring a mile away, and yes, the bag of chips opening, under the covers no matter how quiet the girl is trying to be.

Make amends. Do not appologize for loving and protecting your child, THAT IS YOUR JOB AND YOU ARE DOING IT WELL. But maybe, explain how worried you are and that you do trust the leaders and ask for a compromise. The girls all have whistles and the leaders have cell phones. And maybe, apologize for the scene in front of the girls and other mom. The leader probablt felt it undermined the girls and mom's trust in her ability to keep them safe. ?

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annethcz

· #12 · Jun 17, 2004

Since I'm the last person alive who doesn't have a cell phone, perhaps I shouldn't be answering this...

But I do think you're overreacting a bit. As someone who camps on a frequent basis, I'd think that the bigger danger would be running into a wild animal, not a child being stolen from a tent in the middle of the night. I'm with a PP who asked whether or not cell phones actually reduce the amount of crime.

And I also wonder if there would even be cell phone reception in the area. From what I understand, most state parks around here do NOT have good cell phone reception. So the phone wouldn't do any good, anyway.

Evan&Anna's_Mom

· #13 · Jun 18, 2004

I help organize youth events for my diocese. We always forbid cell phones. Now, granted that these events take place in cabins at a camp, not in the wilderness. The primary reasons we do this is 1. to eliminate their getting lost (the phone, not the kid), which parents might then hold us responsible for. 2. to eliminate the "I have this and you don't" taunting. 3. to eliminate a distraction (for that child and others) from the event at hand. 4. to make sure they don't get phone calls from friends in the middle of an activity.

Now, I am sure that your child is responsible and polite and understand why these activities would be a problem. But not all children are. And rules really need to apply equally to all kids participating in an event. Given all of that, and the fact that it really isn't going to keep her any safer, I believe the initial response of the leaders was reasonable. Had I been the leader, I would have enforced the rules and either take then phone for the duration of the trip or sent you daughter home. Sorry.

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Irishmommy

Discussion Starter · #14 · Jun 20, 2004

Whistles it is then!! I talked to a couple of the other parents, and they really like the whistle idea, so between us we are going to buy some so that at least most of the girls have one!

Thanks for all your replies.

grisandole

· #15 · Jun 20, 2004

Quote:

Originally Posted by Irishmommy
Whistles it is then!! I talked to a couple of the other parents, and they really like the whistle idea, so between us we are going to buy some so that at least most of the girls have one!

Thanks for all your replies.

When I was in Girl Scouts, we HAD to have whistles when on a trip. Really, it's for safety. I can't imagine why the leaders didn't put whistles on the list of things to bring. Heck, even the Barney video we have advocates bringing whistles when camping/hiking

Kristi

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