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LO father has not seen her or been involved with me since I was somewhere between 14-16 weeks pregnant. Since then he moved 4 hours away to live with a girl, they broke up recently and when he went to parents house to pick up his computer he gave his mom a huge bag of clothes and asked her to mail it to me for the baby. This is the fist time he has ever given her anything. He insists on paternity testing which I have no problem with except he told me back in Jan. that his att. was taking care of it and I haven't heard a word. His family keeps telling him that she looks like him and to not waste his money etc. His family has told me that the ex-girlfriend was very controlling etc. and he only called them on his way to or home from work.

My question is how often do I continue to extend the olive branch? I want him to be involved with her but, not because he feels he has to. Part of me wants to email him with updates etc about what she is doing and to keep him updated with pics. Partly because I don't want him to ever say you didn't keep me informed etc and also because I want him to realize what he is missing. I just don't know what to do. I have a lot of anger towards him about how things have turned out thus far...Then in the same breath want him to be the dad I want for my daughter. I feel now that he is away from her that hopefully things will improve but then I think that if he was any kind of person he wouldn't have let some other person rule his life like that. Then I feel bad for thinking negative thoughts like that as I was once in a relationship where I was controlled by a controlling person. Then I think I better watch what I say cause karma will come back and bite me in the ass.

Sorry for the rambling, have been stewing over this for a few days. Does any of this make sense? Does anyone get how I am feeling? What would you do???
 

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No, you are not crazy. You want what is best for your child. I would absolutely update your child's father! Just keep the info about your child and bite your tongue when it comes to his relationships and anything about you.

Honestly, me biting my tongue is the only reason my XH and I get along.
 

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I could have written your post! Actually I think I did write a similar one recently and I got some good advice from the women here. DS' father has not been in the picture at all - I have decided to let it go although I hope that one day he will contact us when he's ready to be a part of his life....
If he knows how to contact you and knows that you are open for a positive relationship, then let him take the lead. It won't hurt to ask him if he would like updates on your daughter, etc. But focus your time and energy on your lil one
 
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